Trick or Treating elsewhere due to neighbors children becoming upset (they aren’t allowed to). Am I doing too much?

[Anonymous]

The mom is inflicting misery on them by having them watch out the windows. It’s her job to have something for them to do instead.
You are a nice neighbor but it’s unnecessary.
Do they have religious celebrations that you don’t partake in? This is a learning experience for everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a good history of the complicated relationship between Christians and Halloween. It goes back at least 60 years.

https://time.com/5711847/christian-halloween-controversy-history/

It's more other religions that object to Halloween.
Halloween and Christianity go in hand since both come from the same Celtic and Nordic festivals and holidays.

Jehovah witnesses and pentacostals are Christians that typically don’t celebrate Halloween.

[Anonymous]

I think what you’re trying to do is kind but pointless.

The kids will still be looking out the windows and seeing other children trick or treat. Your kids don’t make much difference in the dynamic. That said, your neighbor is pretty cruel. She could choose to take her kids out to do something fun instead of forcing them to stay home and cry over being left out.

[Anonymous]

My neighbors were weird like this too. I never could figure out why. The most they would say was “oh we’re Catholics, not Satanists.” Which blew my mind because I am Catholic and also knew lots of Hispanic immigrants who also celebrated (she was Hispanic). The most Catholic families I knew had a few restrictions on costumes (no devils) but all allowed trick or treating. Neighbor’s son cried and cried during Halloween. And then she also petitioned the loudoun school board to stop using the words Halloween on anything. Halloween is now a holiday in loudoun and nothing Halloween can be celebrated. I seriously hope it wasn’t my neighbors doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a good history of the complicated relationship between Christians and Halloween. It goes back at least 60 years.

https://time.com/5711847/christian-halloween-controversy-history/

It's more other religions that object to Halloween.
Halloween and Christianity go in hand since both come from the same Celtic and Nordic festivals and holidays.

Jehovah witnesses and pentacostals are Christians that typically don’t celebrate Halloween.

Messianic Jews also don’t celebrate Halloween. (Not sure if they’re Jewish or Christian since they do believe in Jesus)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a good history of the complicated relationship between Christians and Halloween. It goes back at least 60 years.

https://time.com/5711847/christian-halloween-controversy-history/

It's more other religions that object to Halloween.
Halloween and Christianity go in hand since both come from the same Celtic and Nordic festivals and holidays.

Jehovah witnesses and pentacostals are Christians that typically don’t celebrate Halloween.

Messianic Jews also don’t celebrate Halloween. (Not sure if they’re Jewish or Christian since they do believe in Jesus)

they are considered Christian

[Anonymous]

I don’t find this situation to be real but I will play along…. You taking your kids elsewhere is a choice that you can decide to make for whatever reason but it does not change their situation. At the end of the day, they still don’t celebrate and that is ok. If I were you, I would ask them what their favorite candy was and maybe the next day, get each of them their favorite candy. No costume, no trick or treat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a TOT myself but I really don't get the contempt for religions that don't participate. If the kids are screaming and sobbing at the window, that's upsetting to see and imo it's a parenting failure to educate the kids on why it's not their thing.
But I would not invite them to TOT or give them "their treats" on Halloween. Save some for November 1st.
It's like sneaking beef hot dogs to kids whose families don't eat meat on holy days.

The contempt is because it’s ridiculous. I was one of those kids who was not allowed to trick or treat and spent Halloween at home crying while everyone else was out having fun. As an adult I still resent it, don’t attend that church my parents were so adamant on indoctrinating me into, and take great joy in taking my own children trick or treating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t find this situation to be real but I will play along…. You taking your kids elsewhere is a choice that you can decide to make for whatever reason but it does not change their situation. At the end of the day, they still don’t celebrate and that is ok. If I were you, I would ask them what their favorite candy was and maybe the next day, get each of them their favorite candy. No costume, no trick or treat.

I really would not get into trying to give these kids a mini -Halloween or related treat.

Someone that fundamentalist about their religion is not someone to get crosswise with. It will certainly be taken the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend whose family didn’t do Halloween growing up but their mom always took them to chuckie cheese or something equally exciting and special when everyone was trick or treating. Making her kids sit inside and watch is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is preventing your kids from enjoying Halloween, sure go to another neighborhood. If you're doing it just for the sake of your neighbor's kids, then no. There will be other kids ToT there, so it doesn't really solve their FOMO does it?

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t find this situation to be real but I will play along…. You taking your kids elsewhere is a choice that you can decide to make for whatever reason but it does not change their situation. At the end of the day, they still don’t celebrate and that is ok. If I were you, I would ask them what their favorite candy was and maybe the next day, get each of them their favorite candy. No costume, no trick or treat.

As someone who was raised like this I can assure you this is 100% a real thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a TOT myself but I really don't get the contempt for religions that don't participate. If the kids are screaming and sobbing at the window, that's upsetting to see and imo it's a parenting failure to educate the kids on why it's not their thing.
But I would not invite them to TOT or give them "their treats" on Halloween. Save some for November 1st.
It's like sneaking beef hot dogs to kids whose families don't eat meat on holy days.

Totally agree. Or the perennial debates about Christmas and Easter and "depriving" non-Christian kids of the cultural aspects of these holidays (i.e. Santa and Easter Bunny).

Halloween may be a bit different since it seems to completely secular to most people and is visibly celebrated not just outside the home, but by going to everyone's homes and knocking on the door. So very pervasive and intrusive in a way other celebrations aren't. But still, if it's your religion it's your religion. When the kids are older they will either understand and raise their own kids that way, or they will go full-on Halloween crazy, but in the meantime the parents are doing what they think is best. As most parents try to do. It's a shame they are upset but that's largely on the parents for not explaining their views.

My children have never been upset that we don't do Christmas or Easter. I'm sure there have been times they would have liked to have done them, but they understand why we don't and when they're adults they'll make their own choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do what's best for your own kids. Unfortunately they will still be exposed to the distress of their friends. Just an idea (that may have more to do with how my own particular set of abusive religious parents operate) but the mother may be so caught up in her righteousness and "teaching" her children that she has lost sight of how visible this is to others, and that those others disapprove. So if you want to let her know that leaving children in known distress does not make her (or her religion that may include proseletizing) look good, it could help to the extent that she'd arrange distractions for the kids. Bonus points if you quote a Bible verse when you gently confront her. "Suffer the little children ..." comes to mind, but I'm sure there are better ones. Perhaps COlossians 3:21 if memory serves.

No, that’s what these people WANT. Attention. Look at me, I’m so holier than thou.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what you’re trying to do is kind but pointless.

The kids will still be looking out the windows and seeing other children trick or treat. Your kids don’t make much difference in the dynamic. That said, your neighbor is pretty cruel. She could choose to take her kids out to do something fun instead of forcing them to stay home and cry over being left out.

I don’t really understand either OP. They will see other lots of other kids ToTing. You aren’t shielding them from anything