Trick or Treating elsewhere due to neighbors children becoming upset (they aren’t allowed to). Am I doing too much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't' understand why she can't take them to a movie or out to dinner or something.

I was going to suggest this. Take your kids TOT earlier and then ask neighbor if you can take their kids to see a non scary movie and grab fast food during prime hours.

[Anonymous]

You're very kind but you should do what is best for your family, not hers. Do you have elderly (or non-elderly) neighbors who are generous and love to see your kids every Halloween? I do, and I would not change this tradition for the sake of neighbors' children.

I would, however, suggest to your neighbor that she take the kids to a hotel or set them in front of a tv in the basement to watch back to back movies so they forget about Halloween. It's probably too late to do that this year, but perhaps make that recommendation next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd ask if you could take them with your kids and go around the neighborhood. If she says no, she says no. But you tried. If she wants to torture her children I guess that's her choice. She can live with the consequences of her children crying and screaming.

Don't bother asking the mom, you lnow the answer is no. They're not sitting inside crying because of logistics getting them out there. It's religious and they have a mom who is totally comfortable watching her kids stare out the window and sob year after year instead of taking them out to dinner or something. That's not someone who is going to be reasonable or change their mind.

You can't do anything for those kids but if it is upsetting your own, which it sounds like it is, then yes I would avoid the block or go to another neighborhood. They don't need to be a part of the religious trauma happening next door.

[Anonymous]

Man, everytime I meet parents who do crazy stuff like this to their kids I always open my big mouth and say “funny how they’re gonna have the same rules in the nursing home for you”.

I just don’t get how you can deny your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel any need to accommodate something this parent is choosing to inflict on their kids. It's her burden to figure out. Why doesn't she take the kids out to do something else, even out to dinner etc, so they aren't just staring out windows and crying? There will be other ppl passing by to ToT.

+1 OP is kind but this isn’t her problem.

Honestly the people who object to Halloween on “religious grounds” are so ridiculous. This wasn’t even a thing when I was a kid.

I agree. Every major religion is perfectly fine with harmless cultural celebrations.

[Anonymous]

Bring a little baggie of candy for each kid before TOTing starts

Then go in your own neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Along time ago we lived in Cary,NC

Two weeks before Halloween, a local church put up these horrible flyers into everyone's mailboxes and posted them all over town.

Our next-door neighbors belonged to that church. Their son, who was the same age as my oldest, was not allowed to trick or treat, they instead sat in their outside with crosses warding off the evils..

I was so happy when we moved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel any need to accommodate something this parent is choosing to inflict on their kids. It's her burden to figure out. Why doesn't she take the kids out to do something else, even out to dinner etc, so they aren't just staring out windows and crying? There will be other ppl passing by to ToT.

+1 OP is kind but this isn’t her problem.

Honestly the people who object to Halloween on “religious grounds” are so ridiculous. This wasn’t even a thing when I was a kid.

I never met a non-TOT family as a kid, but it's always been a thing. JW, Pentecostal, evangelical Christians, etc.

I’m 35 and if anything it feels like it was more prevalent when I was a kid! I don’t know anybody who doesn’t celebrate now but did meet them growing up (usually Jehovah’s).

[Anonymous]

Do what's best for your own kids. Unfortunately they will still be exposed to the distress of their friends. Just an idea (that may have more to do with how my own particular set of abusive religious parents operate) but the mother may be so caught up in her righteousness and "teaching" her children that she has lost sight of how visible this is to others, and that those others disapprove. So if you want to let her know that leaving children in known distress does not make her (or her religion that may include proseletizing) look good, it could help to the extent that she'd arrange distractions for the kids. Bonus points if you quote a Bible verse when you gently confront her. "Suffer the little children ..." comes to mind, but I'm sure there are better ones. Perhaps COlossians 3:21 if memory serves.

[Anonymous]

Just keep walking

[Anonymous]

I am a TOT myself but I really don't get the contempt for religions that don't participate. If the kids are screaming and sobbing at the window, that's upsetting to see and imo it's a parenting failure to educate the kids on why it's not their thing.
But I would not invite them to TOT or give them "their treats" on Halloween. Save some for November 1st.
It's like sneaking beef hot dogs to kids whose families don't eat meat on holy days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel any need to accommodate something this parent is choosing to inflict on their kids. It's her burden to figure out. Why doesn't she take the kids out to do something else, even out to dinner etc, so they aren't just staring out windows and crying? There will be other ppl passing by to ToT.

+1 OP is kind but this isn’t her problem.

Honestly the people who object to Halloween on “religious grounds” are so ridiculous. This wasn’t even a thing when I was a kid.

Yes, it was. Perhaps moreso. Evangelical Christianity in particular objected to it.

[Anonymous]

Here's a good history of the complicated relationship between Christians and Halloween. It goes back at least 60 years.

https://time.com/5711847/christian-halloween-controversy-history/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel any need to accommodate something this parent is choosing to inflict on their kids. It's her burden to figure out. Why doesn't she take the kids out to do something else, even out to dinner etc, so they aren't just staring out windows and crying? There will be other ppl passing by to ToT.

+1 OP is kind but this isn’t her problem.

Honestly the people who object to Halloween on “religious grounds” are so ridiculous. This wasn’t even a thing when I was a kid.

It’s always been a thing with Jehovahs Witnesses. No celebrating birthdays or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's a good history of the complicated relationship between Christians and Halloween. It goes back at least 60 years.

https://time.com/5711847/christian-halloween-controversy-history/

It's more other religions that object to Halloween.
Halloween and Christianity go in hand since both come from the same Celtic and Nordic festivals and holidays.