Trick or Treating elsewhere due to neighbors children becoming upset (they aren’t allowed to). Am I doing too much?

[Anonymous]

I think that’s really kind. If you can skip your street, that will make your kids feel a little better and also model kindness. The other kids are going to feel sad anyway, but at least they won’t have to see their good friends doing it without them.

I hope those kids grow up and have big Halloween parties as adults!

[Anonymous]

Are your kids the only trick or treaters on your block? If they are going to see kids anyway your abstention only makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neighbor’s children and my children are best friends. They don’t believe in Halloween due to religion. We do celebrate Halloween. Without fail the past two years they will come over before TOT starts and ask me if I can give them a piece of candy. I tell them to go ask mom and if she says ok, then I grab a handful of candy for each of them (4 kids). Her oldest will even pretend to have a costume on to try to celebrate just a little without getting in trouble. He brought one of his footballs to the door and told me he was a football player. She later stopped by and told me she had found out he dressed up and sent him back inside.

Once kids start going door to door her kids all cry. Inconsolable tears type crying and they watch from her windows. We are in row homes so the houses connect. My kids in turn feel bad that their friends are sad and cannot come out to trick or treat with them.

This year I planned to go to a neighborhood over just to give them a break from the past two years of tears and upset. A break on both sides, no one has to feel bad and no one has to feel sad about the other.

This morning I woke up and I’m asking myself - Am I doing too much? For background I’m an only child who often feels sad for people because of my own childhood sadness/loneliness that I’m working thru and never want anyone to feel left out or ostracized.

Go to the other neighborhood. Avoid them. You can feel sorry for them but still do what's right for you. Don't engage anymore. Make this fun for your kids. That's priority number one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids the only trick or treaters on your block? If they are going to see kids anyway your abstention only makes you feel better.

Which is a perfectly valid reason to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids the only trick or treaters on your block? If they are going to see kids anyway your abstention only makes you feel better.

Which is a perfectly valid reason to do so.

It’s performative and something she can pat herself on her back. It makes absolutely no difference to that other family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel any need to accommodate something this parent is choosing to inflict on their kids. It's her burden to figure out. Why doesn't she take the kids out to do something else, even out to dinner etc, so they aren't just staring out windows and crying? There will be other ppl passing by to ToT.

+1 OP is kind but this isn’t her problem.

Honestly the people who object to Halloween on “religious grounds” are so ridiculous. This wasn’t even a thing when I was a kid.

Yes it was. I was born in 1967 (suspect I'm older than you since most on DCUM are younger) and there were two kids in my grade all through late elementary and middle school that were not allowed to do any Halloween related activities the class did due to religion. They were not related to each other but were the same religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids the only trick or treaters on your block? If they are going to see kids anyway your abstention only makes you feel better.

Which is a perfectly valid reason to do so.

It’s performative and something she can pat herself on her back. It makes absolutely no difference to that other family.

What a sad little life you must lead with that kind of thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids the only trick or treaters on your block? If they are going to see kids anyway your abstention only makes you feel better.

Which is a perfectly valid reason to do so.

It’s performative and something she can pat herself on her back. It makes absolutely no difference to that other family.

What a sad little life you must lead with that kind of thinking.

Other families are going to be walking by trick-or-treating. She’s only trying to protect her own feelings. That’s fine if that’s what she wants to do, but it makes no difference to the other families, the kids will be seeing other kids trick-or-treating.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s really nice of you to go to another neighborhood. I would say maybe try to leave before the kids are looking out the window though if you can.

I wasn’t allowed to trick or treat as a kid because of religion. I went to a religious school and none of my classmates could celebrate Halloween. We were told it was a Pagan holiday.

For me, the worst part was that you KNOW what other kids are doing and having fun. It was worse when people came to our door for candy. It is very kind of you to try to ease the neighbor kids pain.

As an adult I LOVE Halloween. We threw big Halloween parties, I still dress up, we decorate a ton.

Halloween also happens to be my birthday….

[Anonymous]

If this is preventing your kids from enjoying Halloween, sure go to another neighborhood. If you're doing it just for the sake of your neighbor's kids, then no. There will be other kids ToT there, so it doesn't really solve their FOMO does it?

[Anonymous]

The Jehovah Witness kids never could go ToT or have birthday parties, etc. And, this was over 50 years ago. It’s very sad to watch from the outside. You can’t change it. They’ll have to decide later in life if that’s what they want for their kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't' understand why she can't take them to a movie or out to dinner or something.

[Anonymous]

Very kind and thoughtful of you.

[Anonymous]

I was not allowed to celebrate Halloween as a child’. Was told it was the devils day

Never understood that as a child.
Fast forward as an adult with kids - it’s our favorite holiday each and every year ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel any need to accommodate something this parent is choosing to inflict on their kids. It's her burden to figure out. Why doesn't she take the kids out to do something else, even out to dinner etc, so they aren't just staring out windows and crying? There will be other ppl passing by to ToT.

+1 OP is kind but this isn’t her problem.

Honestly the people who object to Halloween on “religious grounds” are so ridiculous. This wasn’t even a thing when I was a kid.

I never met a non-TOT family as a kid, but it's always been a thing. JW, Pentecostal, evangelical Christians, etc.

My family was part of a Southern Baptist church in the 80s that went full anti-Halloween. Thankfully my parents peaced-out pretty quickly.