Gender Ratios are so lop-sided? What is going on?

[Anonymous]

^ I have another current example in a competitive club, but don’t wish to share openly so probably fueling my answer too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get slammed for this, but as a society we’ve abandoned our boys. They don’t have role models to look up to. We disparage men in general and white men in particular. We cater to those who claim victimhood.

I tend to agree. I actually have one of the highly mature one, even more than most girls, but even he has felt like in college admissions and the like that you almost have apologize for not having any suffering and being male. He’s never said it, but I see it, and can tell in subtle ways. I’m a democrat, I don’t need to be hated on, but many do feel like they have been pushed aside in some regards. Others have mentioned the issues with schooling and boys on the less mature side and agree with that too. Video games and now p*rn are just terrible for these kids.

I have two sons attending top 20 colleges..and neither felt they had to apologize for anything in college admissions.

I literally have no clue what aspect of the admissions process would cause your kid to feel this way, other than every now and then an essay question asking you about a time you had to overcome adversity. However, you realize AO's don't expect every kid to have to write about coming from abject poverty and a broken home.

DP. Mine were just themselves. They are kind, smart, funny. They didn’t have any trauma to speak to and it was fine. They did well in admissions

+1 my son and his core group of 7 UMC friends did well in admissions last year. They got into a mix of state flagships, T20s, T50s, and SLACS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get slammed for this, but as a society we’ve abandoned our boys. They don’t have role models to look up to. We disparage men in general and white men in particular. We cater to those who claim victimhood.

I tend to agree. I actually have one of the highly mature one, even more than most girls, but even he has felt like in college admissions and the like that you almost have apologize for not having any suffering and being male. He’s never said it, but I see it, and can tell in subtle ways. I’m a democrat, I don’t need to be hated on, but many do feel like they have been pushed aside in some regards. Others have mentioned the issues with schooling and boys on the less mature side and agree with that too. Video games and now p*rn are just terrible for these kids.

I have two sons attending top 20 colleges..and neither felt they had to apologize for anything in college admissions.

I literally have no clue what aspect of the admissions process would cause your kid to feel this way, other than every now and then an essay question asking you about a time you had to overcome adversity. However, you realize AO's don't expect every kid to have to write about coming from abject poverty and a broken home.

DP. Mine were just themselves. They are kind, smart, funny. They didn’t have any trauma to speak to and it was fine. They did well in admissions

+1 my son and his core group of 7 UMC friends did well in admissions last year. They got into a mix of state flagships, T20s, T50s, and SLACS.

PP here: forgot to add that 3 of them got into higher ranked schools than their older sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get slammed for this, but as a society we’ve abandoned our boys. They don’t have role models to look up to. We disparage men in general and white men in particular. We cater to those who claim victimhood.

I tend to agree. I actually have one of the highly mature one, even more than most girls, but even he has felt like in college admissions and the like that you almost have apologize for not having any suffering and being male. He’s never said it, but I see it, and can tell in subtle ways. I’m a democrat, I don’t need to be hated on, but many do feel like they have been pushed aside in some regards. Others have mentioned the issues with schooling and boys on the less mature side and agree with that too. Video games and now p*rn are just terrible for these kids.

I have two sons attending top 20 colleges..and neither felt they had to apologize for anything in college admissions.

I literally have no clue what aspect of the admissions process would cause your kid to feel this way, other than every now and then an essay question asking you about a time you had to overcome adversity. However, you realize AO's don't expect every kid to have to write about coming from abject poverty and a broken home.

At an Ivy, applied a couple years ago. That supplement and some others, a bit harder to answer. I do understand that AO’s don’t expect that, but it still felt awkward at times for lack of better words.

It's I guess harder to answer from anyone coming from a healthy UMC background only because you perhaps think it needs to be something that would universally be considered "adversity"...but the answers aren't any easier for the girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get slammed for this, but as a society we’ve abandoned our boys. They don’t have role models to look up to. We disparage men in general and white men in particular. We cater to those who claim victimhood.

I really don’t get it. American society is still very much ruled by men. From top government leadership, to Congress, to the vast majority of boardrooms. Educational leadership, be it K-12 or higher ed, tends to be split about 50/50. So who exactly is abandoning the boys?

I don’t get the obsession with men right now, and I’m a men. Women are literally letting men play them by taking in this BS indoctrination that men are being oppressed to the highest extent, because now women go to school at higher rates (a trend that’s been going on for decades).

Boys are being coddled to the extreme. It is seen as wrong these days to point out the obvious issue of male violence and repeated behavioral disruption. I see this come up all the time with mothers excusing their boys for excessive violence against other students. If your oppression comes from the fact that you can’t sit down for class…you are gonna have a rough life. I see the same things with dads telling their boys that college is a waste of money, useless, etc. We’re priming them to be unsuccessful.

[Anonymous]

I recently saw a right wing influencer type call a kid who had great grades and scores “autistically smart.” Lots of boys are getting fed that crap all day every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get slammed for this, but as a society we’ve abandoned our boys. They don’t have role models to look up to. We disparage men in general and white men in particular. We cater to those who claim victimhood.

Maybe give some thought to the qualities that your culture lauds as being exemplary, or successful. I’m thinking people like Elon Musk, Charlie Kirk, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, DOGE. How many of these wealthy, influential white men finished college? How many of them proudly discuss their college experiences as being foundational in their success? So, I wouldn’t slam you for your viewpoint, although I do encourage you to take a deeper look at who you are openly valuing as role models. What many of you actually value is DOGE: Very young white men — with limited education, lots of power, and extravagantly generous paychecks.

Lol: You do get that you’re claiming “ victimhood” for “white men in particular “ — right? Tell the truth, do you REALLY wish that your “boys” had the opportunities that get offered to people who are not white males? You wish that your kid was a target for ICE?

The only person on that list that I might even consider a worthy role model for a young man would have been Charlie Kirk, primarily for his way of speaking with people who disagreed with him. Do you consider the rest of them people our boys should admire or emulate? That to me is a sign of a sick culture.

Can you provide some examples of this? I have never seen him speak with those who disagreed with him in any way that I would find admirable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently saw a right wing influencer type call a kid who had great grades and scores “autistically smart.” Lots of boys are getting fed that crap all day every day.

There is a lot of "do as I say, not do as I do". I am sure that influencer attended college...all the Fox news talking heads' kids attended or will attend college.

The tech bros are a different animal in that they actually do believe college isn't needed...HOWEVER...you have to have skills. The college dropouts and even DOGE kids all have very advanced skills. Those people have zero interest in 98% of the males that skip college...which is why 98%+ of the people they hire at their companies all have college degrees and many have advanced degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get slammed for this, but as a society we’ve abandoned our boys. They don’t have role models to look up to. We disparage men in general and white men in particular. We cater to those who claim victimhood.

I really don’t get it. American society is still very much ruled by men. From top government leadership, to Congress, to the vast majority of boardrooms. Educational leadership, be it K-12 or higher ed, tends to be split about 50/50. So who exactly is abandoning the boys?

I don’t get the obsession with men right now, and I’m a men. Women are literally letting men play them by taking in this BS indoctrination that men are being oppressed to the highest extent, because now women go to school at higher rates (a trend that’s been going on for decades).

Boys are being coddled to the extreme. It is seen as wrong these days to point out the obvious issue of male violence and repeated behavioral disruption. I see this come up all the time with mothers excusing their boys for excessive violence against other students. If your oppression comes from the fact that you can’t sit down for class…you are gonna have a rough life. I see the same things with dads telling their boys that college is a waste of money, useless, etc. We’re priming them to be unsuccessful.

Agee with this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get slammed for this, but as a society we’ve abandoned our boys. They don’t have role models to look up to. We disparage men in general and white men in particular. We cater to those who claim victimhood.

This is just not true.
1. Men still rule in the work world - % of CEOs and % on Boards
2. Boys should have plenty of role models: father's, uncles, grandparent's, siblings, not to mention your friend's (and their friends parents) are role models. I would not hero worship the current politicians, musicians, actors or athletes)
3. Important people in our life, and in the lives of our children, one boy and one girl) do not disparage boys or cater or reward victomhood.

Many of you sound like MAGA incels, touting old troupes.

[Anonymous]

So many complex factors contribute to this. To over simplify and scratch just the surface, we have...

1) An education system that rewards young kids who sit still, can follow orders, take standardized tests since age 4-7, do hours of homework since 5th grade. All of these favor girls who mature sooner, are under greater gender pressure to be compliant. This education hamster wheel is enough to burn any kids out and turn them off school by college age, esp for boys.

2) At the same time, the last two generations of kids (after Gen X who are left to roam wild by themselves) are over-programmed to an inch of their lives for schools, sports, music and other ECs that require unreal level of executive functioning. Girls again fare better here...they are recognized even if they don't score or win the big trophy but are hardworking, collaborative team player; boys in general face higher expectation to have to win gold and be the future MLB/NBA/NHL/NFL start since age 4. All these ES and unrealistic expectations also mean kids (both genders) have multiple opportunities each day to feel bad about themselves that make them crave emotional outlets.

3) This takes us to the addiction to social media, video games, online influencers...boys often dive a lot deeper into these escapes and addictions; some get so lost and disillusioned they can't climb back up from the deep hole. So many of these teen boys are not sleeping even 5-6 hours a night, let alone build the kind of school and EC portfolios and do SAT preps to get into these colleges OP is touring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has gone on several tours where the gender ratio is almost 2/3 female to male (BU was a recent one that our tour guide said was close to that). What is going on? Why aren't colleges at least trying to balance things a bit? My daughter feels like it will be a weird atmosphere for her when it's so female-heavy. She doesn't just want to go to school with guys who got in through recruited sports. She wants to go to college with smart, goal-oriented men.

Well gee there are more women than men born all over this stupid country.

You can not be this stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many complex factors contribute to this. To over simplify and scratch just the surface, we have...

1) An education system that rewards young kids who sit still, can follow orders, take standardized tests since age 4-7, do hours of homework since 5th grade. All of these favor girls who mature sooner, are under greater gender pressure to be compliant. This education hamster wheel is enough to burn any kids out and turn them off school by college age, esp for boys.

2) At the same time, the last two generations of kids (after Gen X who are left to roam wild by themselves) are over-programmed to an inch of their lives for schools, sports, music and other ECs that require unreal level of executive functioning. Girls again fare better here...they are recognized even if they don't score or win the big trophy but are hardworking, collaborative team player; boys in general face higher expectation to have to win gold and be the future MLB/NBA/NHL/NFL start since age 4. All these ES and unrealistic expectations also mean kids (both genders) have multiple opportunities each day to feel bad about themselves that make them crave emotional outlets.

3) This takes us to the addiction to social media, video games, online influencers...boys often dive a lot deeper into these escapes and addictions; some get so lost and disillusioned they can't climb back up from the deep hole. So many of these teen boys are not sleeping even 5-6 hours a night, let alone build the kind of school and EC portfolios and do SAT preps to get into these colleges OP is touring.

^Suicide is much higher in teen and adolescent boys

[Anonymous]

Male to female ratio
UCLA -- 38/61
Berkeley -- 43/55
UT-Austin -- 44/56
Michigan -- 36/62
Georgia -- 42/58
Florida -- 44/56
Georgia Tech -- 60/40
VA Tech -- 57/43
UChicago -- 54/46
Northwestern -- 46/54
Auburn -- 50/50
Alabama -- 42/58
Colorado -- 53/47
NYU -- 40/60
BC -- 46/54
BU -- 42/58
UNC-Chapel Hill -- 40/60
NC State -- 52/48
Wisconsin -- 47/53
Georgetown -- 45/55
UPenn -- 46/54
Penn State -- 53/47

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get slammed for this, but as a society we’ve abandoned our boys. They don’t have role models to look up to. We disparage men in general and white men in particular. We cater to those who claim victimhood.

I really don’t get it. American society is still very much ruled by men. From top government leadership, to Congress, to the vast majority of boardrooms. Educational leadership, be it K-12 or higher ed, tends to be split about 50/50. So who exactly is abandoning the boys?

I don’t get the obsession with men right now, and I’m a men. Women are literally letting men play them by taking in this BS indoctrination that men are being oppressed to the highest extent, because now women go to school at higher rates (a trend that’s been going on for decades).

Boys are being coddled to the extreme. It is seen as wrong these days to point out the obvious issue of male violence and repeated behavioral disruption. I see this come up all the time with mothers excusing their boys for excessive violence against other students. If your oppression comes from the fact that you can’t sit down for class…you are gonna have a rough life. I see the same things with dads telling their boys that college is a waste of money, useless, etc. We’re priming them to be unsuccessful.

Well, boys are falling behind by every metric, so ...not sure it matters how you subjectively feel. Something is not working. We can disagree on root causes but the problem is pretty clear. And boomer/Gen x male CEOs has nothing to do with Gen z men. Just because many 1% are white men does not somehow mean young men are therefore ok.