Teen and custody

[Anonymous]

It’s really sad the number of posters who don’t care about how the teen feels. That’s heart breaking. This child is not a piece of property to pass back and forth. Put the child first. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s really sad the number of posters who don’t care about how the teen feels. That’s heart breaking. This child is not a piece of property to pass back and forth. Put the child first. Please.

It's more than the courts don't care. The uninted consequence of the father's rights movemen was to shift focus away from the children's best interests and toward the parents' best interests.

[Anonymous]

Do we know for sure that op is the mom and the other parent is the dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do we know for sure that op is the mom and the other parent is the dad?

No. Nor do we know the gender of the teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do we know for sure that op is the mom and the other parent is the dad?

Technically it shouldn't matter. But it seems many have assumed that OP is the mom and the dad is the disinterested one. That fits with stereotypical thinking.

Plus, no one could possibly imagine that a teen would prefer to stay with his dad and (evil) stepmom & siblings (family) rather than spend time with his mother who may be single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do we know for sure that op is the mom and the other parent is the dad?

Technically it shouldn't matter. But it seems many have assumed that OP is the mom and the dad is the disinterested one. That fits with stereotypical thinking.

Plus, no one could possibly imagine that a teen would prefer to stay with his dad and (evil) stepmom & siblings (family) rather than spend time with his mother who may be single.

Neither parent has been described as “disinterested.” Each has provided a comfortable home for their child and each has done 50% of the parenting. Neither one wants less than 50% physical custody. One parent moved farther from the teen’s school, but is still in the same city. They didn’t move a couple hours away. The whole reason why that parent doesn’t prioritize teen spending time with friends on weekends is because they want to have quality time with their child.

No one is disinterested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do we know for sure that op is the mom and the other parent is the dad?

Technically it shouldn't matter. But it seems many have assumed that OP is the mom and the dad is the disinterested one. That fits with stereotypical thinking.

Plus, no one could possibly imagine that a teen would prefer to stay with his dad and (evil) stepmom & siblings (family) rather than spend time with his mother who may be single.

Neither parent has been described as “disinterested.” Each has provided a comfortable home for their child and each has done 50% of the parenting. Neither one wants less than 50% physical custody. One parent moved farther from the teen’s school, but is still in the same city. They didn’t move a couple hours away. The whole reason why that parent doesn’t prioritize teen spending time with friends on weekends is because they want to have quality time with their child.

No one is disinterested.

If only grounding the kid and forbidding them from seeing their friends was the way to get quality time...

[Anonymous]

They didn’t move a couple hours away. The whole reason why that parent doesn’t prioritize teen spending time with friends on weekends is because they want to have quality time with their child.

Is it? What quality things are they doing? One of the posts said they "don’t have anything in common or anything to talk about, and they end up not speaking to each other and teen stays in their room when at that house."

If that's the case why can't parent let teen spend time with friends?

[Anonymous]

OP didn’t mention grounding or forbidding contact with friends.

“The parent the teen doesn’t want to see moved and is on the other side of the city now quite far from school and friends and isn’t amenable to teen spending a lot of time with friends on the weekend. Wants teen to spend weekend with them.”

Sounds like teen can spend some time with friends on the weekends, but parent wants the majority of teen’s free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s really sad the number of posters who don’t care about how the teen feels. That’s heart breaking. This child is not a piece of property to pass back and forth. Put the child first. Please.

Simple solution then would be for teen to go live with dad to stop the back and forth.

Denying a parent a relationship but expecting them to be an atm is wrong and cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP didn’t mention grounding or forbidding contact with friends.

“The parent the teen doesn’t want to see moved and is on the other side of the city now quite far from school and friends and isn’t amenable to teen spending a lot of time with friends on the weekend. Wants teen to spend weekend with them.”

Sounds like teen can spend some time with friends on the weekends, but parent wants the majority of teen’s free time.

It's not grounding the kid. She's making up nonsense and posts every so often with new excuses on why she needs to cut out dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m on the teens side. However, I think the parents need to work on Dad and teen seeing each other.
Teen needs to stay with Dad for one weekend a month from after school Friday til Sunday night or Monday morning.
One additional weekend teen needs to spend Saturday OR Sunday with Dad.
Midweek Dad comes to see Teen at least once a week and they go out for dinner or do some activity together, but it doesn’t involve teen sleeping at his house.
It’s important teen maintains relationship but that shouldn’t mean the 50/50 situation is the best way anymore.

Mom doesn't want kid with dad at all. She could be creative with the schedule, as in more holidays, summer, long weekends but she will not give at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make it clear to my teen that he needs to make it work. 1) this won't be the last time he has to deal with difficult personalities 2) he needs college to be paid for 3) he will someday get to control the relationship. For now, he deals with it.

Couldn't it also be if 1) sometimes family can be hard to deal with but we try to figure out a way because we love one another and support each other 2) parent is making a financial commitment to better their kids' lives and that shouldn't be dismissed 3) relationships should not be based on controlling one another but by mutual affection and trust

If mom cuts out dad she should be fully financially responsible. She’s the difficult one. She’s not willing to change the schedule just force dad to give up his time. If dad is smart he will not pay for things outside child support if son does not honor the agreement. With that extra time, son can get a job and if he wants to make grown up decisions he can pay for them himself.

Wrong. From OP:

“Parent with difficult relationship is not interested in altering custody and feels there should be tough love and teen forced to go as per court agreement.”

The difficult one is mom. If there is a court order, it should be respected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make it clear to my teen that he needs to make it work. 1) this won't be the last time he has to deal with difficult personalities 2) he needs college to be paid for 3) he will someday get to control the relationship. For now, he deals with it.

Couldn't it also be if 1) sometimes family can be hard to deal with but we try to figure out a way because we love one another and support each other 2) parent is making a financial commitment to better their kids' lives and that shouldn't be dismissed 3) relationships should not be based on controlling one another but by mutual affection and trust

His Father is a dry alcoholic and abuser. His relationship with others is all about control. So my child has no control at his home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The are following your lead. Stop sabotaging the other parent and uphold the agreement. If they refuse have consequences.

This. It is very clear that the OP is the saboteur here. Very.