Would you get involved with an alcoholic in recovery?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because it is a personality profile.
Not all people with it become addicted but if they do, it means they are prone to it. They can be cured but then they get addicted to religion of healthy lifestyle or something else.
In short, no. Just like I wouldn’t get involved with people with personality disorders or autism or even probably type 1 diabetes or colorblindness.

OMFG. Die alone! Jaysus, what a judgmental bag of shite person you are! Like your shit doesn't stink...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I asked this exact same question on DCUM a few months ago about a guy I really cared about who had been sober for a few years.

I ended up decided not to pursue a relationship with him and we remained friends.

A couple weeks ago he relapsed, badly, and it ended with him both using drugs and using sex workers.

I am VERY glad I decided not to date him. I think it is just too risky to date an addict.

Right, because only addicts do these things.

[Anonymous]

No. Nope. Speaking as someone who is trying to get out of a long-term marriage to an alcoholic who refuses to admit he has an issue. This guy could be the greatest guy in the world, but alcoholism, including recovery, brings a whole lot of issues with it.

[Anonymous]

Nope

Maybe 10 years out of AA and no children involved ever.

[Anonymous]

When i was young and dumb, probably - now if for some horrible reason i had an opportunity to date again - absolutely not

[Anonymous]

NO!!!!

[Anonymous]

What the old AA books call "alcoholic mind" is a real thing. I have it and for me it manifested as compulsive eating and obesity starting around age 4. I eventually found OA via a poster in a library when I was 27 and lost the extra weight. But I have to work every day to stay in recovery. It's in my head. My body follows my head.
I binge drank weekends in college and adulthood but I do not have the genetic susceptibility to alcohol. I hardly drank at all after age 60. I haven't had alcohol this year except once in a restaurant.
Bottom line is the mental part is real and for alcoholics it's physical too.

[Anonymous]

Yes, because nobody is perfect and this person actually did something to change unlike all the people on here who judge people.

Addiction is a disease, just like any other disease. They didn't decide to be an alcoholic one day. If people actually learn about addiction and the disease they would probably not be so judgmental.

[Anonymous]

I think that if (1) a person is in active recovery, meaning regular meetings, active friendships in the recovery community, working the steps, keeping their side of the street clean, etc.; AND (2) you are OK with the time and relationships that requires, and willing to be honest yourself, then the person in recovery can actually be a better than average bet because they know they have the disease and are committed to keeping it at bay.

There are a huge number of people out there who need recovery and are making no effort, or who have the disease but have this far managed to keep it under wraps.

[Anonymous]

I know a number of medical doctors and professionals in recovery (pilots etc.)

If he/she is working a recovery program weekly then yes.

Alcoholism is a disease. Those in recovery are working a program. The man or women has been sober for 4 years.

Yes I would date him or her.

[Anonymous]

Nope. However, best of luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, because it is a personality profile.
Not all people with it become addicted but if they do, it means they are prone to it. They can be cured but then they get addicted to religion of healthy lifestyle or something else.
In short, no. Just like I wouldn’t get involved with people with personality disorders or autism or even probably type 1 diabetes or colorblindness.

Wow. T1D and colorblindness are pretty wild additions to this. On the upside, this gave me a much needed laugh.

I probably wouldn't get involved because it's just easier not to. I suspect that is my own personality flaw.

[Anonymous]

Are you also ready to work a program yourself OP? To be in AlAnon weekly? Because loving someone with a substance use disorder is loving someone who will - even if they're working on it - pull you into the family patterns that go with it.

If not, nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, speaking from experience.

[Anonymous]

No