How can I break up with this friend in the most cut and dry way possible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be even simpler. The next time she reaches out, write: I do not want to be friends anymore. If she solicits an argument, do not respond and block her number.

Disagree. If you don’t specify she’ll act like it was OP being a B and had nothing to do with her actions.

[Anonymous]

“Your decision to tell X about my eating history when I’d made clear I was discussing this with you in confidence made me realize I can’t trust you as a friend. Please don’t contact me in the future.”

Then ghost.

[Anonymous]

I like to take the high road so I would let her know exactly why I'm cutting off contact and then block her. Hold firm. What she did was completely unacceptable (and you say she's done stuff like that before!) so don't question yourself. I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that any DCUMer would simply shrug it off if they similarly found out that their husband had been an alcoholic or raging junkie.

This is not the same thing as having had an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

That’s unforgivable and if you don’t talk to her anymore, I would not consider that ghosting as she knows exactly why. If she does reach out, you can simply say you do not wish to be friends with her anymore. Please don’t contact you and leave it at that. Why should you have to worry about her feelings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that any DCUMer would simply shrug it off if they similarly found out that their husband had been an alcoholic or raging junkie.

Weird comparison.

A better one would be a history of self harm or time in a mental institution.

These are material facts about your life that could potentially have a direct impact on your partner in the future should they emerge again.

Not disclosing them are lies of omission. And, frankly, grounds for divorce later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While she was out of line, your lies of omission to your husband are even worse.

Are you the friend OP is talking about?

No, you stupid twat. Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast? What a moronic comment.

Hi, are you ok, PP? Maybe put down the phone and walk in the woods, or volunteer at a food pantry, listen to great music, or play with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Your decision to tell X about my eating history when I’d made clear I was discussing this with you in confidence made me realize I can’t trust you as a friend. Please don’t contact me in the future.”

Then ghost.

This.

I think you’re crazy to not mention it to your husband before now (not a real marriage IMO with secrets like that) but she is undoubtedly way more crazy.

[Anonymous]

How hard will it be to extricate yourself? I mean what kind of friend is this? How often do you see each other at events (school, church, neighborhood, work, other friends?). What kinds of things do you usually do? How do youusually communicate? How long have you been "friends"?

All those questions are important for how you end this friendship. If you don't see her out and about and have no common interests, it's easy enough to just end things. You can ghost. You can do the quiet fade (reply to invites: can't make it, have fun) until you just fade away. you can be direct: Larla, you really crossed a boudary for me and I don't feel comfortable with you any longer, have a nice life.

If you're more intertwined, it's more complicated. Slow polite fade is probably easiest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While she was out of line, your lies of omission to your husband are even worse.

Are you the friend OP is talking about?

No, you stupid twat. Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast? What a moronic comment.

DP The comment was spot on. You, however, seek [professional help, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While she was out of line, your lies of omission to your husband are even worse.

Are you the friend OP is talking about?

No, you stupid twat. Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast? What a moronic comment.

Hi, are you ok, PP? Maybe put down the phone and walk in the woods, or volunteer at a food pantry, listen to great music, or play with your kids.

I’m perfectly fine and see you for who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that any DCUMer would simply shrug it off if they similarly found out that their husband had been an alcoholic or raging junkie.

Weird comparison.

A better one would be a history of self harm or time in a mental institution.

These are material facts about your life that could potentially have a direct impact on your partner in the future should they emerge again.

Not disclosing them are lies of omission. And, frankly, grounds for divorce later.

Got a legal citation on that?

I didn't think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While she was out of line, your lies of omission to your husband are even worse.

Are you the friend OP is talking about?

No, you stupid twat. Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast? What a moronic comment.

You are wretched, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While she was out of line, your lies of omission to your husband are even worse.

Op here,

My husband knows about my current health (physical and mental) concerns. I never felt the need to tell him about an eating disorder I had and got treatment for before we even met. I haven't relapsed in over a decade using my coping skills (therapy, etc).

After she told him, he asked her to leave. And we discussed the ED for a total of 10 mins and then talked about how wild it was that she felt the need to expose something that way.

You've got a good husband. That makes me really happy for you. This "friend" sucks in gigantic ways. I would have no guilt ghosting her. But it might feel better to tell her, with zero ambiguity, that you want nothing further to do with her because of her blatant disrespect and disregard of your wishes. You get to choose, there's no wrong answer here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing that any DCUMer would simply shrug it off if they similarly found out that their husband had been an alcoholic or raging junkie.

Weird comparison.

A better one would be a history of self harm or time in a mental institution.

These are material facts about your life that could potentially have a direct impact on your partner in the future should they emerge again.

Not disclosing them are lies of omission. And, frankly, grounds for divorce later.

Got a legal citation on that?

I didn't think so.

hahah I'd like to see it too.