Frat or Sorority, yea or nay?

[Anonymous]

I was in a fraternity in college and met some of my best friends there to this day. I never even mentioned it to my kid whether he should ever join one or not. Never came up. Well, he's into his second week at school and is rushing and having the time of his life at a very good school.

Let your kids make their own decisions as to what they feel is best for them when it comes to such things. Don't let you negativity or insecurities for whatever reason rub off on your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will you encourage or discourage your Freshman to join a fraternity or sorority?

I never joined because I did not want to pay money for a group of older students to force me to clean their house, wash their cars, attend mandatory drinking parties, wear conforming clothes, and be abused in a hazing ritual.

I withstood the peer pressure and opted out. I will encourage my children to opt out also when it comes time for college.

Then what is the point of this thread?!

[Anonymous]

Nay. It's not in our budget. I guess that's part of the goal-- not having to be friends with us poor people.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have your mind made up OP so not sure by posting. Both of my kids did join Greek houses and had great experiences with little to no “hazing”. Yes my DS had to clean the house and be a DD, go to the gym etc. no big deal.

[Anonymous]

There is no universal experience. I was part of a sorority at a Big 10 thirty years ago. It was a good way to make a large school feel smaller. We were a down to earth group. I don’t know how many of us could have been “hot” enough to be in a modern day rush-tok video. We had fun with theme parties and special events.

I was hesitant to have my son join a house at a big state U in the NE due to hazing etc. it’s been a good experience for him. He managed to tolerate cleaning the house for pledging. He avoided the houses that were known for heavy hazing.

[Anonymous]

I was a first gen/ URM student who knew nothing about Greek Life, and also went to a small regional university. Movies were my only point of reference when it came to sororities.

My daughter is in a sorority at a large/medium-to-large (prestigious?) state univ that rushes in January. She made a lot of friends in the fall who were also going to rush, and got a bid from a house she liked.

I did not encourage, but supported her decision. Greek life is not the main focus of her campus life, but she has gained some experience and is learning a lot from older sisters. They share academic and professional advice.

She will live in the house next year, and it will be much cheaper than living off campus. No need to pay rent for summer months!

She was glad to see that although her sorority is mostly white, she noticed through social media, that there was also a good racial mix. So far, it has been a positive experience for her.

[Anonymous]

Nothing gets DCUM more worked up than Greek talk. It really does feed into women’s insecurities and stereotypes. I can’t understand why women can’t trust their young adult daughters to make their own decisions about something like this and support that decision regardless — without judging and tearing apart young women who make a different decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a sorority because it was just expected of me. I rushed in the south but it fine because I knew people in all of the top houses and got a bid from a good one. However I was probably one of the least involved people in my pledge class, though I did like living in the house my last 2 years. Good food and it was homey. I just didn't click with most of the pledge class because of the superficiality and my closest friends were in other sororities.

Overall I guess it was beneficial but it wasn't a huge part of my college experience except that it was a great place to live.

You’re a better woman than I am! I de-pledged my sorority in my southern school. Just couldn’t do it. Then Panhell enlisted me as the campus unofficial de-pledging advisor, as they sent girls who were waffling to talk it out with me, lol.

Talk about lame.

[Anonymous]

Seems to be trend among certain group of posters no red state schools including all sec schools, no frats/sororities and no school named Elon. My guess is that most of them don’t drive a Suburban, Navigator or Ford pickup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always laugh at these threads. Clearly they’re started by insecure and/or unattractive women. We get it — you couldn’t rush yourself because you didn’t have what it takes and you’re still bitter about it all these years later.

Who would want to belong to a group with mean girls like you? Why so defensive + insulting?

My girls were in sororities. They’re cute, smart, outgoing, successful, level headed — and very nice. There are worse things, right? Like being jealous of girls who are cute, smart, outgoing . . .

I guess being defensive about one’s association with a sorority? Perhaps assuming that others are jealous or - how did you say? - insecure and unattractive, rather than having an opinion that differs from your own? That would be worse.

So, why so defensive?

Why such a judgmental whore?

[Anonymous]

I hate the term frat. It is fraternity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term frat. It is fraternity.

Oh Jesus lighten up.

I vote nay. Use college as a time to figure out who you are as a person, without social crutches. I was in a frat in college and wish I wouldn’t have been. Too much time on partying and missed a lot of opportunities for personal growth, both academically and personally.

[Anonymous]

Did not grow up here, so admit, I just don't understand the value of regular fraternities. All the hazing and drinking stories, I just don't get it. However, there are also some academic/professional fraternities for business, prelaw, etc. Are those different?

[Anonymous]

I would neither encourage nor discourage. Your kids make their own choices and don’t need permission from parents. Let them do what they’re inclined to do.

[Anonymous]

Let the kid decide.

Given that OP was never in a sorority, not sure why they have such an opinion about something they never experienced.