Needy friend who is paranoid about everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

Oooh! You got me! I... post here.

Yes, your frenetic style is obvious. Dear lord. Shouldn’t you be fostering a pit bull??

What are you prattling on about?

Be kind, pp. Her anti-pit bull thread in the pets forum got locked, so she's gotta troll elsewhere for a week or so before starting a new one.

-"THE pit bull lady" (the one, the only...)

[Anonymous]

I had a friend like this, and I started distancing myself. I have mild anxiety, and it was not good for me. We're still friendly, but we are not as close as we used to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend like this, and I started distancing myself. I have mild anxiety, and it was not good for me. We're still friendly, but we are not as close as we used to be.

Is everyone who posts here neurotic in some way? Good on you for having boundaries about what you can and can't handle, but why is this sort of thing such a dealbreaker for some of the people on this thread? Let other people be without making it about you. Isn't that the whole point of what OP is ranting about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

Oooh! You got me! I... post here.

Yes, your frenetic style is obvious. Dear lord. Shouldn’t you be fostering a pit bull??

What are you prattling on about?

Be kind, pp. Her anti-pit bull thread in the pets forum got locked, so she's gotta troll elsewhere for a week or so before starting a new one.

-"THE pit bull lady" (the one, the only...)

Lol, no, that’s you! I didn’t start any anti pit bull thread, but I see the same crazy aggressive posting style across threads and now recognize it as a hyper sensitive individual…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

Oooh! You got me! I... post here.

Yes, your frenetic style is obvious. Dear lord. Shouldn’t you be fostering a pit bull??

What are you prattling on about?

Be kind, pp. Her anti-pit bull thread in the pets forum got locked, so she's gotta troll elsewhere for a week or so before starting a new one.

-"THE pit bull lady" (the one, the only...)

Lol, no, that’s you! I didn’t start any anti pit bull thread, but I see the same crazy aggressive posting style across threads and now recognize it as a hyper sensitive individual…

Cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YES. I have a friend like this. Everything is always an emergency. I think it’s narcissism.

This. Everything is the end of the world. It’s usually fairly normal stuff that might be slightly annoying, but not OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???!!!

Hmmm. Not everything is narcissism. Sounds more like anxiety or paranoia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YES. I have a friend like this. Everything is always an emergency. I think it’s narcissism.

This. Everything is the end of the world. It’s usually fairly normal stuff that might be slightly annoying, but not OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???!!!

Hmmm. Not everything is narcissism. Sounds more like anxiety or paranoia.

It's amazing how so many people are calling this behavior pathological in some way, yet none of them have the coping skills in their toolkit to, you know, help their so-called friend practice calming down or letting go. If you're so good at it that you can diagnose your friend's lack, you should be good enough to share the skills you have that they may not, right?

It's pathetic the way some of you treat your "friends", complaining about them behind their backs and acting like being a supportive friend is such a burden. Weak, y'all.

[Anonymous]

I used to know someone like this but it wasn’t anxiety, it was drama-seeking. There’s a hurricane in the Philippines so she is absorbed in the drama of someone threee degrees away whom she barely knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YES. I have a friend like this. Everything is always an emergency. I think it’s narcissism.

This. Everything is the end of the world. It’s usually fairly normal stuff that might be slightly annoying, but not OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???!!!

Hmmm. Not everything is narcissism. Sounds more like anxiety or paranoia.

Obviously this. ^
She has mental health problems OP. I don't know that I'd even get involved in trying to help her, she might turn on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YES. I have a friend like this. Everything is always an emergency. I think it’s narcissism.

This. Everything is the end of the world. It’s usually fairly normal stuff that might be slightly annoying, but not OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???!!!

Hmmm. Not everything is narcissism. Sounds more like anxiety or paranoia.

Obviously this. ^
She has mental health problems OP. I don't know that I'd even get involved in trying to help her, she might turn on you.

LOL

[Anonymous]

How old is she? Some people's mental health takes a real dive in midlife for various reasons.

Refuse to validate her irrational fears and set boundaries by taking more time to respond when she gets like this.

I had a friend who was like this and got increasingly worse during covid. She basically became a shut in. Once I stopped engaging in doom spirals with her, she lost interest in the friendship and stopped texting me.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend like that. At first I was constantly there for her, listening to her, going to her place, doing stuff for her, taking care of her, etc etc. After many years, it started to become draining. I did do everything suggested in this thread -- tried to feed it less, suggested that perhaps a therapist might help, set my own boundaries......

That was all met with anger. She was mad that I suggested therapy, went on a tear through our friend group about me, on and on. There was a culmination where she got verbally abusive and did some other really underhanded things involving my ex, and that was the end of that.

[Anonymous]

Best to avoid those types of people.

They might make you the object of their paranoia and fear and attack you.

[Anonymous]

Friends we’ve had like this tended to be democrats who got way too involved in pet political causes.

[Anonymous]

Catastrophizing is a severe symptom of anxiety. She needs CBT or whatever her therapist recommends. But you need to tell her this, “I can’t help you, Larla. I’m sorry you’re overwhelmed. Please get help from a mental health professional. They deal with this all the time. It can and will get better.”