Needy friend who is paranoid about everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

Sounds almost like a shut in who might need institutionalization. That sucks.

Probably the best thing to do for her would be to wean her off the "news" and get her to go out with you to places to get her deprogrammed from the fear-bait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member like this. I'm sympathetic to her level of anxiety because it must be a very difficult way to live. However, I do get irritated by how she turns everything into being about her. It wasn't her feeling awful for people who lost family members in Texas, it was her being irrationally anxious and stressed about her own kid at a camp where the chance of a flash flood was slim to none.
It's not feeling horrible for those being deported and the lives being disrupted, it's "omg should I cancel our trip?! What if we can't get back into the country?! What if they detain us?!" Even though they are the most basic white American people and there is no chance anything would happen.
It's not being upset over the fact that someone plowed their car into a crowd, it's obsessive texts over whether or not she should let her kids go to a town fair. Because who knows if someone drive into the crowd.

The turning everything into being about her is what pushes my patience with her.

This is a good explanation of the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member like this. I'm sympathetic to her level of anxiety because it must be a very difficult way to live. However, I do get irritated by how she turns everything into being about her. It wasn't her feeling awful for people who lost family members in Texas, it was her being irrationally anxious and stressed about her own kid at a camp where the chance of a flash flood was slim to none.
It's not feeling horrible for those being deported and the lives being disrupted, it's "omg should I cancel our trip?! What if we can't get back into the country?! What if they detain us?!" Even though they are the most basic white American people and there is no chance anything would happen.
It's not being upset over the fact that someone plowed their car into a crowd, it's obsessive texts over whether or not she should let her kids go to a town fair. Because who knows if someone drive into the crowd.

The turning everything into being about her is what pushes my patience with her.

That’s exactly exactly it. That’s why I mentioned the ICE raids. It’s not ‘wow, I feel horrible for X person we know who might have to leave the country’, it’s ’Will they also come for me because I texted with X person that I hated Trump??’
It’s the constant ‘what about me??’ no matter how remote of an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is why god invented thumbs up and hearts for text messages. If she calls / texts don't respond right away. If she brings it up in person, change the subject.

This is really good advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is she thinks OP is her friend and OP clearly doesn't have any love for her, care about her or even like her.

Sounds like you are the emotional vampire…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

Sounds almost like a shut in who might need institutionalization. That sucks.

Probably the best thing to do for her would be to wean her off the "news" and get her to go out with you to places to get her deprogrammed from the fear-bait.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

The sort of person on here often enough to be commenting "OMG it's you" seems to be the one needing a break, paranoia poster. What a deranged thing to say!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

The sort of person on here often enough to be commenting "OMG it's you" seems to be the one needing a break, paranoia poster. What a deranged thing to say!

Another LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is she thinks OP is her friend and OP clearly doesn't have any love for her, care about her or even like her.

Sounds like you are the emotional vampire…

Having concerns and/or anxiety isn't being an "emotional vampire". My god... Some of you are the drama and you don't even realize it's you, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

Oooh! You got me! I... post here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

Oooh! You got me! I... post here.

Yes, your frenetic style is obvious. Dear lord. Shouldn’t you be fostering a pit bull??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is she thinks OP is her friend and OP clearly doesn't have any love for her, care about her or even like her.

When you dump your irrational anxieties on a friend or relative too often, it's hard for them to like you, PP. BTDT, with my anxious mother and one anxious friend (who is no longer a friend, I can't dump my mother).

Your failure to set boundaries is your fault. The victimese gives it away. Try saying no and letting go of your martyr complex.

You're talking about the anxious needy person who dumps all her fears on friends and relatives? Yes, I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is she thinks OP is her friend and OP clearly doesn't have any love for her, care about her or even like her.

When you dump your irrational anxieties on a friend or relative too often, it's hard for them to like you, PP. BTDT, with my anxious mother and one anxious friend (who is no longer a friend, I can't dump my mother).

Your failure to set boundaries is your fault. The victimese gives it away. Try saying no and letting go of your martyr complex.

You're talking about the anxious needy person who dumps all her fears on friends and relatives? Yes, I agree with you.

Why let someone "dump all over you" as if you have no agency to change the topic, limit the time you spend with this person, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a friend like this? Everything upsets her so much in the world… her family, politics, this country, men, work, her contractors, and on and on. She’s worried she’ll be deported by ICE (even though she is American born, white Christian), she’s worried about texting anything political because someone might be reading her texts, she’s worried that she received a group email from a listserv discussing politics

How do you have patience for friends like these? She is a kind and good person overall

You being this het up about your friend's anxieties strongly suggests either compassion fatigue or a lack of emotional intelligence and boundaries on your part. Other people can worry without it being your problem, and if it taxes your patience, you need to set better boundaries about how much of their troubles you're willing to entertain and when.

But if you don't have patience for "friends like these", that's actually a you problem. Control what you can: yourself.

OMG it’s you. Jesus, lady, do you ever take a break?

Oooh! You got me! I... post here.

Yes, your frenetic style is obvious. Dear lord. Shouldn’t you be fostering a pit bull??

What are you prattling on about?