STRUGGLING as an empty nester

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you are an empty nester - you have the time to do life makeovers. By the way, being an empty nester is a very short period of time. It changes when kids want to get married, or grandkids are born, or your health deteriorates. So in this very short period of time -

- Fix your health and lifestyle. Work on building the muscles and bones. Work on your balance and stamina.
- Host your various groups of friends and relatives. Go out for dinners and to see movies/museums/theatre.
- Plan a fun family reunion with all your relatives. Find a nice resort for all.
- Declutter your home and do a swedish death cleanse
- Sort out all your legal papers for your kids
- Konmari your stuff
- All pictures and photos to be digitalized so that it can be shared with others
- Do all the home improvements that can allow you to age in place or even sell your home.
- Travel and cruise

Fantastic advice, PP. Your reminder that this is a short phase of life is an important one.

[Anonymous]

Get a cat or two, or get involved with animal fostering if you don’t want to commit to a pet for 10-15+ years. Animal rescue orgs always need safe houses for a pregnant cat or dog so she can have her babies safely and then you adopt out the mom and babies after a few months, rinse and repeat.

You could also look into tutoring on weekends as a bit of a side hustle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps adopt a pet? They really do add so much to life. Maybe serve as a foster to try it out?

I was going to say this. My dog is a great companion and gets me out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps adopt a pet? They really do add so much to life. Maybe serve as a foster to try it out?

I was going to say this. My dog is a great companion and gets me out of the house.

I feel like you need to go the pet route or the extensive travel route but not both. I have a pet I adore but I think we are going the travel route once she passes in (hopefully many more years in) the future.

I love the list a few posts up.

[Anonymous]

Give yourself the time and grace to adjust. It can be very hard at first, but then you start to get used to it. Just like when you brought your baby home and everything changed, but then you got used to it, you'll adjust to this phase, too.

Send hugs and wishes for peace!

[Anonymous]

Learn to be alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became foster cat mom. So many animals need homes if you have the capacity to take one in.

Along those lines, this org is great. They match foster families with pets who belong to military members who need temporary care for their animals. Something like that could be great. https://pactforanimals.org/

Oh gosh there's a pair of dogs in Williamsburg VA

[Anonymous]

I’m not there yet, but here’s my plan:

1. Take a big and loooooooong, extended trip with my spouse.

2. Go room by room and declutter to the point that if I died unexpectedly it would be rather easy for my kids to handle emptying the house to sell it. I’ll save certain items in clearly labeled storage containers.

3. Renovate/redecorate so we can easily sell or rent the house if we want to/need to.

4. Find things to do/places to go after work and on the weekends. Keep a running list.

5. Exercise more. Perhaps find some other neighbors/friends to regularly walk with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Learn to be alone.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is me, too, OP, except I don’t have a husband. I’m all alone.

It’s hard.

This is me too. Divorced and launching to college in same year. Super tough.

Hang in there. You can do this. The pain gets less and less.

[Anonymous]

Take my toddlers, they’re jumping off couches with yogurt pouches no naps and hitting their head.

Please please enjoy the quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take my toddlers, they’re jumping off couches with yogurt pouches no naps and hitting their head.

Please please enjoy the quiet.

I would gladly start over with toddlers and do it all again. And when you are standing where I am, you would too. (Not OP.) Raising children was the pleasure of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became foster cat mom. So many animals need homes if you have the capacity to take one in.

Along those lines, this org is great. They match foster families with pets who belong to military members who need temporary care for their animals. Something like that could be great. https://pactforanimals.org/

Oh gosh there's a pair of dogs in Williamsburg VA

And they are cute and sound great! Friendly yellow Labs who only need fostering for a few months. I would totally do this if we didn't have major travel coming up...

[Anonymous]

If your goal is to have another human in your house, you can get a roommate, or start fostering. There is a tremendous need. If neither of those things is of interest to you, sounds like you would rather be alone and should learn to embrace it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe join a gym to exercise more nights and always have a place to go?

The thing about the pic is now you’re just alone at a gym.

People need human connection

Didn't she just have human connection all day at work? I'm an introvert so I can't relate at all. But if they OP wants to enjoy coming home to quiet, become a teacher. You'll crave quiet like a junkie craves smack. My DS left for college two years ago and he's home more than I thought. School ended the first week of May and he will go back the last weekend in August. He has 3-4 weeks off for winter break and another week for spring break.