STRUGGLING as an empty nester

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to volunteer more and maybe look into some anti-anxiety meds.

Seriously. I barely saw my kids when they were home because we both worked, and I’ll likely never retire.

Gain some perspective on how wonderful your life is, and giving to others is a good start.

[Anonymous]

A traveling DH who is suddenly home is not going to be the panacea you imagine. He will expect probably a lot of solitude; I don’t know if things will change that much or if you will smother him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to volunteer more and maybe look into some anti-anxiety meds.

Seriously. I barely saw my kids when they were home because we both worked, and I’ll likely never retire.

Gain some perspective on how wonderful your life is, and giving to others is a good start.

Dang, we both worked and we saw our kids all the time. You’ll probably transition to empty nesters easily since . It won’t feel empty because you never saw your kids.

[Anonymous]

I would try to tag along with my DH on business travel when possible.

[Anonymous]

Volunteer, take a class. Get savvy on the computer, adopt another pet.

We’re bot there yet but clise, my husband is going to drive me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A visit. A hotel. One meal.
Go visit them! Your kids. Explore their area on your own. Learn what it's like for them to be living where they are.

Take a weekend and visit an old friend. A childhood friend. A college friend. A parent. A sibling. Travel without your husband.

This. Presumably you have plenty of money if you were able to stay home all this time? So use that money to travel. Or help people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am STRUGGLING. I do stay busy. I work. Everyone said to find hobbies, and I did, and it helps. I have a book club one evening a week, joined an evening fitness class, plan dinner a couple times a month with friends, do little hobbies and occasionally find a home project to keep me busy. My main issue is that my DH travels for work quite often, so I’m alone. I stay busy, but no matter how busy I am, I come home to a quiet house, alone. He can’t do anything about his work schedule right now because he’s so close to retirement. But I feel like I’m struggling to stay afloat in this situation. I don’t know what else I can do. Does anyone have any advice?? Please be kind!



*I didn’t know where to post this, so please move if this isn’t the place!

My neighbors are all retired and their children are out of the house. I don't know what they do? I think they are more introverted and so they stay at home and are happy. Maybe you need more interaction? One idea was to volunteer in a school, but be warned they will put you to work. But maybe you could volunteer in a kindergarten class once a week to help with reading of discipline. You would also be able to chat up any of the other teachers and staff as you would be viewed as nonthreathening and a helper. But again, they will put you to work, cleaning, organizing, working with students, etc.. so if you don't want to do that I would not suggest it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am STRUGGLING. I do stay busy. I work. Everyone said to find hobbies, and I did, and it helps. I have a book club one evening a week, joined an evening fitness class, plan dinner a couple times a month with friends, do little hobbies and occasionally find a home project to keep me busy. My main issue is that my DH travels for work quite often, so I’m alone. I stay busy, but no matter how busy I am, I come home to a quiet house, alone. He can’t do anything about his work schedule right now because he’s so close to retirement. But I feel like I’m struggling to stay afloat in this situation. I don’t know what else I can do. Does anyone have any advice?? Please be kind!



*I didn’t know where to post this, so please move if this isn’t the place!

My neighbors are all retired and their children are out of the house. I don't know what they do? I think they are more introverted and so they stay at home and are happy. Maybe you need more interaction? One idea was to volunteer in a school, but be warned they will put you to work. But maybe you could volunteer in a kindergarten class once a week to help with reading of discipline. You would also be able to chat up any of the other teachers and staff as you would be viewed as nonthreathening and a helper. But again, they will put you to work, cleaning, organizing, working with students, etc.. so if you don't want to do that I would not suggest it.

Our neighbors are also all retired with no kids at home. Here's what I see them doing:

Walking their dogs (a lot)
Gardening
Hanging out with friends on their porches/in their yards
Organizing and attending social events in the neighborhood
Pickleball
Volunteering (I see the posts on FB)

[Anonymous]

Once you are an empty nester - you have the time to do life makeovers. By the way, being an empty nester is a very short period of time. It changes when kids want to get married, or grandkids are born, or your health deteriorates. So in this very short period of time -

- Fix your health and lifestyle. Work on building the muscles and bones. Work on your balance and stamina.
- Host your various groups of friends and relatives. Go out for dinners and to see movies/museums/theatre.
- Plan a fun family reunion with all your relatives. Find a nice resort for all.
- Declutter your home and do a swedish death cleanse
- Sort out all your legal papers for your kids
- Konmari your stuff
- All pictures and photos to be digitalized so that it can be shared with others
- Do all the home improvements that can allow you to age in place or even sell your home.
- Travel and cruise

[Anonymous]

Don't get a pet as an empty nester. Choose freedom.

[Anonymous]

There are some hobbies and volunteer gigs that are more social and time consuming if that’s what you’re looking for - join a group organizing politically and host people doing mailings and making signs at your house. You’ll get invited to more of the same and have a sense of purpose. Volunteer to do props for your local community theatre and you’ll meet all of the actors and techies as well as all the thrift store workers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am STRUGGLING. I do stay busy. I work. Everyone said to find hobbies, and I did, and it helps. I have a book club one evening a week, joined an evening fitness class, plan dinner a couple times a month with friends, do little hobbies and occasionally find a home project to keep me busy. My main issue is that my DH travels for work quite often, so I’m alone. I stay busy, but no matter how busy I am, I come home to a quiet house, alone. He can’t do anything about his work schedule right now because he’s so close to retirement. But I feel like I’m struggling to stay afloat in this situation. I don’t know what else I can do. Does anyone have any advice?? Please be kind!



*I didn’t know where to post this, so please move if this isn’t the place!

I'm widowed and retired and my one kid is an adult on his own. I have a roommate, an old friend from my husband's younger days who is on disability. He's a pretty annoying person (very narcissistic; his disability is a medical condition though not mental health) but I swear it makes a difference having another human and (to be honest) someone I can argue with from time to time. Since he's annoying I feel no remorse when I end up yelling at him. Not offering obnoxious roommate as advice but just telling you that I feel like I would have a hard time if there was nobody else around.

Of course, if I fall down the basement stairs and break a leg, there's someone who would be able to call 911.

But I also have a dog (husky) and that helps a ton, plus dog park visits provide interaction with people.

I like your story. Odd couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe join a gym to exercise more nights and always have a place to go?

The thing about the pic is now you’re just alone at a gym.

People need human connection

Yes, everyone at the gym is listening to podcasts or music.

[Anonymous]

I mean, I took up drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe join a gym to exercise more nights and always have a place to go?

The thing about the pic is now you’re just alone at a gym.

People need human connection

Yes, everyone at the gym is listening to podcasts or music.

Unless you join a gym where you all work out together doing the same workout. I am an empty nester with no partner and I built a community through my CrossFit gym and my soccer team.

I do feel lonely on long weekends when everyone is away on family trips, though.