STRUGGLING as an empty nester

[Anonymous]

Ditto

The only answer is you MUST learn to enjoy being home alone.

I work, I go to workout classes, two nights a week and Sunday morning. I golf on Saturdays.

I go out of town once a month to visit my kids or friends. I go out to dinner or a movie or something with friends once a week.

It would be psychotic if I added more things to my list of things to do.

[Anonymous]

It seems like we put so much effort into finding a good college for them, all the end of high school traditions not to mention our focus on all their activities and its all over. One day you have a house filled with life and fun and their presence, their friends, etc. All of the sudden you’re doing a Costco order and it’s under $200 and you’re sad. It’s tough. I’ve done the pickleball thing, and hobbies have no interest to me. I focus on my health. Eating right, exercising, walking with friends and I’ve really started liking being home alone in my bathrobe. Noisy places are super annoying to me.
I do know it gets easier. Hang in there and you will get your own rhythm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just go with your husband when he travels.

This advice sucks, honestly. People don’t have endless money for airfare and hotel whenever their spouse travels, nor the personal time at work, and the spouse is busy, you know, working and sleeping.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you OP! I will be in a similar place next year. DD has gone away for college and DS will be gone next year. I feel so sad! I have a great job and I travel a lot. I don’t have time to take up pickleball or any desire TBH. I think I just need to find my new rhythm as it isn’t like I have a lot of spare time. Just that I miss how full the house always was.

Also - on work travel. It gets pretty boring for a spouse. DH used to come along occasionally but there is only so much to do and I am always busy with events and dinners so it isn’t like I get to spend a lot of time with him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am STRUGGLING. I do stay busy. I work. Everyone said to find hobbies, and I did, and it helps. I have a book club one evening a week, joined an evening fitness class, plan dinner a couple times a month with friends, do little hobbies and occasionally find a home project to keep me busy. My main issue is that my DH travels for work quite often, so I’m alone. I stay busy, but no matter how busy I am, I come home to a quiet house, alone. He can’t do anything about his work schedule right now because he’s so close to retirement. But I feel like I’m struggling to stay afloat in this situation. I don’t know what else I can do. Does anyone have any advice?? Please be kind!



*I didn’t know where to post this, so please move if this isn’t the place!

I'm widowed and retired and my one kid is an adult on his own. I have a roommate, an old friend from my husband's younger days who is on disability. He's a pretty annoying person (very narcissistic; his disability is a medical condition though not mental health) but I swear it makes a difference having another human and (to be honest) someone I can argue with from time to time. Since he's annoying I feel no remorse when I end up yelling at him. Not offering obnoxious roommate as advice but just telling you that I feel like I would have a hard time if there was nobody else around.

Of course, if I fall down the basement stairs and break a leg, there's someone who would be able to call 911.

But I also have a dog (husky) and that helps a ton, plus dog park visits provide interaction with people.

[Anonymous]

I think senior year of high school prepares you for the empty nest. The kids are SO busy and want to spend any extra moments with their friends. My DH traveled every week also, but the first thing I did was to quit cooking (for a least a month). You didn’t say how long you have been feeling this way, but if it’s been a awhile, consider some therapy.

[Anonymous]

If the issue is coming home to a quiet house, set a timer for music to go on right before you’re scheduled to get home.

[Anonymous]

Maybe join a gym to exercise more nights and always have a place to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe join a gym to exercise more nights and always have a place to go?

The thing about the pic is now you’re just alone at a gym.

People need human connection

[Anonymous]

You need to volunteer more and maybe look into some anti-anxiety meds.

[Anonymous]

In a strange way, it's refreshing to read that ppl are lonely when their kids fly the coop. I always hate seeing those stupid social media posts where the parents are (literally) jumping for joy when their last kid leaves home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps adopt a pet? They really do add so much to life. Maybe serve as a foster to try it out?

+1. A pet helps a lot. It doesn't have to be a dog. A cat is excellent too. Or whatever pet you'd enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Would you do emergency foster care?

[Anonymous]

Get a cat

Foster a cat

[Anonymous]

Pet foster or dog sitter? Host for study abroad students?