How to invite people and tell them not to bring their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be really clear! “Adults only please” etc. Don’t beat around the bush.

I was once invited to a baby shower that was actually in a private room at a bar that did not allow children. I showed up with my kid and was denied entrance; because it was me alone, we just had to go home. I was pretty mortified. But also— it was a baby shower! Why not say something?! In that case, there was no message, tactful or otherwise, about leaving kids at home. I still think that was pretty weird.

Since when do baby showers involve children as guests?

In my circle, people always brought their kids to baby showers. Weddings, baby showers, etc included children. Maybe it’s regional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

So weird to socialize by gender. Are you a person or a set of reproductive organs?

Not weird at all.

Very weird. Let me guess, when you go to “co-ed” parties, the little women are in the kitchen fixing food, while the menfolk gather in the living room, drinking beer and talking sports?

DP. Not weird. People have been doing this forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be really clear! “Adults only please” etc. Don’t beat around the bush.

I was once invited to a baby shower that was actually in a private room at a bar that did not allow children. I showed up with my kid and was denied entrance; because it was me alone, we just had to go home. I was pretty mortified. But also— it was a baby shower! Why not say something?! In that case, there was no message, tactful or otherwise, about leaving kids at home. I still think that was pretty weird.

Since when do baby showers involve children as guests?

In my circle, people always brought their kids to baby showers. Weddings, baby showers, etc included children. Maybe it’s regional?

Same. It’s unusual to have a no kids wedding and even more rare to have a no kid baby shower in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you provide child care for them? You have a teen, hire her and another teen to provide child care.

[Anonymous]

All this handwringing. We socialize in a group every 2-3 weeks. Sometimes it is whole families, sometimes it is adults only, sometimes it is a guys night, sometimes it is a ladies night. Guests are free to come or not come but in my experience people like a mix of gatherings. It's nice to spend time with your kids and it's also nice to spend time away from your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be really clear! “Adults only please” etc. Don’t beat around the bush.

I was once invited to a baby shower that was actually in a private room at a bar that did not allow children. I showed up with my kid and was denied entrance; because it was me alone, we just had to go home. I was pretty mortified. But also— it was a baby shower! Why not say something?! In that case, there was no message, tactful or otherwise, about leaving kids at home. I still think that was pretty weird.

Why would you ever bring your child to a bar? That’s what’s pretty weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

So weird to socialize by gender. Are you a person or a set of reproductive organs?

Not weird at all.

Very weird. Let me guess, when you go to “co-ed” parties, the little women are in the kitchen fixing food, while the menfolk gather in the living room, drinking beer and talking sports?

I feel sad for you that you have no female friends you enjoy spending time with. It’s such an amazing and refreshing dynamic. On the other hand, I can completely understand why given your comment.

I hope life get better for you. You’re missing out!

[Anonymous]

It’s okay to be clear.

I have friends who host a lot and they’re very clear when they’re inviting the family over to a BBQ and when it’s an adult only party. I go either way!

[Anonymous]

I would also have loved that. One thing that I most loved was being able to leave my house and skip the bath bedtime routine. Have the party on the earlier side!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be really clear! “Adults only please” etc. Don’t beat around the bush.

I was once invited to a baby shower that was actually in a private room at a bar that did not allow children. I showed up with my kid and was denied entrance; because it was me alone, we just had to go home. I was pretty mortified. But also— it was a baby shower! Why not say something?! In that case, there was no message, tactful or otherwise, about leaving kids at home. I still think that was pretty weird.

Since when do baby showers involve children as guests?

In my circle, people always brought their kids to baby showers. Weddings, baby showers, etc included children. Maybe it’s regional?

Same. It’s unusual to have a no kids wedding and even more rare to have a no kid baby shower in my experience.

I wonder if this is cultural rather than regional. We are not quite WASPs (we have some Irish and Jewish thrown in there) but more or less your generic white here-for-a-couple-generations Americans, and I have never attended a family member's wedding where kids were invited or a baby shower of any sort where kids were invited. I remember going through my phone awhile ago and deleting all the babysitter contacts - there were 25 or so from various events from when my kids were little. We are now past the weddings phase but typically I think you can look at the invitation as a gauge. In the baby shower example - were you and your daughter invited? Or just you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

So weird to socialize by gender. Are you a person or a set of reproductive organs?

Not weird at all.

Very weird. Let me guess, when you go to “co-ed” parties, the little women are in the kitchen fixing food, while the menfolk gather in the living room, drinking beer and talking sports?

DP. Not weird. People have been doing this forever.

Men and women can be friends now, you know. We don’t have to abide by the rules from the 1950s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

So weird to socialize by gender. Are you a person or a set of reproductive organs?

Not weird at all.

Very weird. Let me guess, when you go to “co-ed” parties, the little women are in the kitchen fixing food, while the menfolk gather in the living room, drinking beer and talking sports?

I feel sad for you that you have no female friends you enjoy spending time with. It’s such an amazing and refreshing dynamic. On the other hand, I can completely understand why given your comment.

I hope life get better for you. You’re missing out!

Straw man. Hanging out with both genders means you have friends of both genders.

[Anonymous]

Mom of a 3 & 1 year old here who would be thrilled to get a sitter and come to this party! Agree with others - just be clear on your invite, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

This. Its expensive and not everybody has family to watch kids. I save the babysitters for date nights or big events.
But its also okay to say adults only. Just dont be surprised if people with small kids cant do that.
You may have moved on from that phase in your life but some are still deep in the trenches.

Tough. Adults only means do not attend with your children and I don't care where you are in the trenches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be really clear! “Adults only please” etc. Don’t beat around the bush.

I was once invited to a baby shower that was actually in a private room at a bar that did not allow children. I showed up with my kid and was denied entrance; because it was me alone, we just had to go home. I was pretty mortified. But also— it was a baby shower! Why not say something?! In that case, there was no message, tactful or otherwise, about leaving kids at home. I still think that was pretty weird.

Since when do baby showers involve children as guests?

I have never attended a baby shower where people bring their children.