How to invite people and tell them not to bring their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

Their loss

Yes, it’s fine if OP wants a no kids party and it’s fine if some friends decline because they don’t want to hire a sitter. It’s just something for OP to mentally prepare for and not get upset about.

Thinking back to when we had babies and toddlers, we probably would have sent the spouse who was closer to the friend to make an appearance rather than hiring a babysitter for the afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

Their loss

Not really. Some parents are introverts. Different strokes for different folks

[Anonymous]

Just put “adults only” on the invitation. No sense beating around the bush.

Plan for lower attendance than you might normally get (so cast a wider net with invites) due to the childcare issue.

I would have loved to attend a party like this when our kids were small (as long as we could get a sitter). If we couldn’t secure a sitter, DH or I might have attended alone (whichever of us was closer to the host). Not everything needs to be for families or include young children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

Pfft, I'm always looking for an excuse to book a babysitter and put on a dress!

You're probably one of those people who schleps their kids to a winery or brewery on the weekend and calls it family bonding time.

By the time kids are in bed or settled with a sitter, I had zero energy for socializing. So these would have to be very good friends for me to find the energy to "put on a dress" and mingle!!

[Anonymous]

Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

[Anonymous]

A few things:

-it's ok to only invite adults
-it's ok to not pay for a baby sitter for a friend's "adults only" party

In my circle, you'd have a bigger uptake of guests if you made it a ladies night. I'm much less likely to use up precious baby sitting hours on a party both of us go to unless it's a VERY good friend. We are social and get invited to a lot of things. But we are also protective of our weekend time with the kids, since we both work.

This does not mean you have to have parties with young kids. It just means families with young kids will make choices that work for them, and it won't always be your gathering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

Their loss

Yes, it’s fine if OP wants a no kids party and it’s fine if some friends decline because they don’t want to hire a sitter. It’s just something for OP to mentally prepare for and not get upset about.

Thinking back to when we had babies and toddlers, we probably would have sent the spouse who was closer to the friend to make an appearance rather than hiring a babysitter for the afternoon.

Yes this is what we often do too. I am wiped out in the evening usually, so my DH is much more likely to attend parties than I am. If it's friends I'm closer to, of course I make an effort, but I prefer to go a bit earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

Then stay home. You likely won't be missed.

[Anonymous]

We host parties all the time, some include kids and some don't. Our group of about 14 couples all have kids ranging in age from K-8th grade. No one has ever declined because their kids weren't invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved a kid free event when my kids were little. I would definitely attend OPs garden party.

+1 I've never understood why some people think their kids needs to go to every function.

[Anonymous]

Since the OP has a teenager, how many of the invites include parents with young children? Maybe half come and half don’t. Be sure to include “Adults only” on the invite and it will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just put *adults only* at the bottom of the invitation

But be prepared for someone to inevitably not read that part and bring their kids anyway (or worse, choose to ignore it!). I once made a genuine mistake and brought my kids to a gathering at a neighbor's that I realized only after arrival was adults only. They had phrased the invite somewhat obliquely and I just didn't pick up on it.

My kids hung out upstairs and we stayed for only a brief time - luckily it was on our block so we could head out early without a lot of fuss.

OP should definitely not have a kid only party because you can't read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved a kid free event when my kids were little. I would definitely attend OPs garden party.

+1 I've never understood why some people think their kids needs to go to every function.

Same here. If OP was a good friend of ours we would have looked forward to a kid free outing.

[Anonymous]

What is the difference between a backyard party and a garden party?

It would be your right, but strange, to exclude kids from an afternoon party grilling in the backyard. Garden party makes me think you're all wearing high heels and pearls and eating fancy finger foods. So I'd maybe focus on the level of formality and say this is a tea party for grown ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

Their loss

Yes, it’s fine if OP wants a no kids party and it’s fine if some friends decline because they don’t want to hire a sitter. It’s just something for OP to mentally prepare for and not get upset about.

Thinking back to when we had babies and toddlers, we probably would have sent the spouse who was closer to the friend to make an appearance rather than hiring a babysitter for the afternoon.

+1

This is what we do. And it's great!