How to invite people and tell them not to bring their kids?

[Anonymous]

Fine to do an adults only party, just be clear about it.

Personally I would be unlikely to book an afternoon babysitter - to me that's family time. Mine are young so I prefer evening socializing (often just me and DH is home with kids going to bed).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

Their loss

Yes, it’s fine if OP wants a no kids party and it’s fine if some friends decline because they don’t want to hire a sitter. It’s just something for OP to mentally prepare for and not get upset about.

Thinking back to when we had babies and toddlers, we probably would have sent the spouse who was closer to the friend to make an appearance rather than hiring a babysitter for the afternoon.

+1

This is what we do. And it's great!

We also typically had only one of us go or skip it. We couldn’t afford frequent babysitters when the kids were little, but maybe OPs circle can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

I agree with this! My husband and I attend a lot of women-only and men-only parties, events, outings. We prefer these events anyway and the other parent watches the kids. I guess it helps if the wife is a "girl's girl" and the husband is a "guy's guy."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

So weird to socialize by gender. Are you a person or a set of reproductive organs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How small of a group are you inviting? If it’s only a few couples you could have a conversation with each person about how you’re excited to do this garden party and your adult only vision. I do agree someone will overlook the no kids thing if you aren’t very explicit just because people don’t read. I also agree you will have some people decline because a babysitter isn’t a palatable option for them right now.

That's so much work. Just put "adults only please." People can decline if they don't want to come without their kids (many may enjoy the chance to have a night out if they can afford a babysitter).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

So weird to socialize by gender. Are you a person or a set of reproductive organs?

Not weird at all.

[Anonymous]

Hire nannies to watch kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

So weird to socialize by gender. Are you a person or a set of reproductive organs?

Not weird at all.

Very weird. Let me guess, when you go to “co-ed” parties, the little women are in the kitchen fixing food, while the menfolk gather in the living room, drinking beer and talking sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults only is great.

Women only also works really well. I've been to a lot of well attended women only events. I think they're better attended because then the husband can stay home with kids and no babysitter is needed.

So weird to socialize by gender. Are you a person or a set of reproductive organs?

Not weird at all.

Very weird. Let me guess, when you go to “co-ed” parties, the little women are in the kitchen fixing food, while the menfolk gather in the living room, drinking beer and talking sports?

I do women only events too.

No it’s just that most husbands don’t want to be there. They’d rather be home reading or watching sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We want to host a small garden party with friends. The thing is, most of our friends have very young children and we don’t; we have a teenager. We have nothing to occupy small children, I don’t want to make my teenager have to keep an eye on them, and I don’t want them wandering around our house while we are all outside (I’m imagining parents suggesting they watch TV or sit inside on devices.) And honestly, I don’t even want them in the backyard with us. I just want an adult gathering. The thing is, our DD will be home and is inviting a friend over, though they won’t be outside with us.

What’s the best way to inform everyone that kids aren’t invited?

Adults only or Please do not bring your children.

[Anonymous]

Just be really clear! “Adults only please” etc. Don’t beat around the bush.

I was once invited to a baby shower that was actually in a private room at a bar that did not allow children. I showed up with my kid and was denied entrance; because it was me alone, we just had to go home. I was pretty mortified. But also— it was a baby shower! Why not say something?! In that case, there was no message, tactful or otherwise, about leaving kids at home. I still think that was pretty weird.

[Anonymous]

Say adults only but have it in the evening. Daytime events where kids aren’t invited are kind of a bummer for parents bc you still have to deal with them later so you can’t really have fun and have drinks, and if you’re a working parent it’s a hard sell to miss a whole weekend day with them whereas evening is fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be really clear! “Adults only please” etc. Don’t beat around the bush.

I was once invited to a baby shower that was actually in a private room at a bar that did not allow children. I showed up with my kid and was denied entrance; because it was me alone, we just had to go home. I was pretty mortified. But also— it was a baby shower! Why not say something?! In that case, there was no message, tactful or otherwise, about leaving kids at home. I still think that was pretty weird.

Since when do baby showers involve children as guests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of them probably won’t come if you tell them they can’t bring the kids.

This. Its not 1950 any more, and parents like to spend their weekends WITH their kids. Unless you live in the Hamptons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be really clear! “Adults only please” etc. Don’t beat around the bush.

I was once invited to a baby shower that was actually in a private room at a bar that did not allow children. I showed up with my kid and was denied entrance; because it was me alone, we just had to go home. I was pretty mortified. But also— it was a baby shower! Why not say something?! In that case, there was no message, tactful or otherwise, about leaving kids at home. I still think that was pretty weird.

Since when do baby showers involve children as guests?

+1
I think it's more weird to receive a baby shower invite and think, great! I'll bring my kid! Baby showers are typically for someone having a first baby. If it's a close group and all friends already have babies then maybe?