Airing the Dirty Laundry of Schools - Why?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I ask parents to think about this: was your school experience perfect? Did you have ups and downs? Were some of your teachers better for you than others? Did you experience issues with the kids at times? Were you always happy? Did the tough experiences help you later in life? Did your parents constantly intervene on your behalf, or did you need to sometimes figure things out for yourself? Is everything really a high stakes situation? Or is struggle part of growing up? Maybe the next time you sit down to write an angry email to the school, you should think about whether you are really helping your kid, or are you just fulfilling some need of your own.

That last line. Parents take out deep rooted feelings on school administrators, teachers, other kids, other parents. This is what I think people mean when they say most of the parents who complain would be unhappy at any school: their deep rooted feelings go with them wherever the parents go. It’s not about the environment.

…or sometimes school administrators and teachers screw up. I’m sure they would prefer to be left alone to screw up as much as they want.

Sometimes. 9 times out of 10, if no one else in the community is complaining, it’s a parent issue.

Schools can divide and conquer. I worked for a private whose management culture included lying to everyone, just telling them what they wanted to hear and not fulfilling promises and pledges. Each subgroup knew certain instances - parents, kids, teachers. But very few knew that an overall pattern existed.

The school has lost literally hundreds of kids over the years, but painting that picture here is useful for parents who won't have the network to hear about the culture until their kids are in the middle of it.

That school promoted a staffer from that era to HOS now. You can assume the culture hasn't changed.

Exactly this or sometimes parents are new to a school and don’t feel comfortable yet or school culture is competitive and parents don’t want to potentially out that their child is having an issue to other parents at the school.

A lot of information that may be perceived as negative gets shared when a parent interested in a school for their child asks a specific question of current parents.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve found this forum to be useful in getting practical info about schools. This morning, I found a long string on the departures at one school, and the threat meant is a student at another.

Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

To warn others what do you think families should just look the other way?

A lot of times, the piling on is to discourage other families from applying so that one's own kid faces less competition for when applying.

I have always thought this theory was total BS.....

You are way underestimating how Machiavellian posters on DCUM can be, when they want. Unless you are blatantly sock puppeting, people can post anything they want and pretend to be anyone they want without any meaningful consequences, given the complete anonymity.

Anybody that makes a decision about a school based on anonymous posters on dcum is pretty stupid. This is a gossip site for entertainment.

Have you read the college forum? They certainly don’t see this as a gossip site for entertainment. It’s all about loopholes, admissions angles, anything that can be done to game the system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found this forum to be useful in getting practical info about schools. This morning, I found a long string on the departures at one school, and the threat meant is a student at another.

Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

To warn others what do you think families should just look the other way?

A lot of times, the piling on is to discourage other families from applying so that one's own kid faces less competition for when applying.

I have always thought this theory was total BS.....

You are way underestimating how Machiavellian posters on DCUM can be, when they want. Unless you are blatantly sock puppeting, people can post anything they want and pretend to be anyone they want without any meaningful consequences, given the complete anonymity.

Again - I think this is over the top. Whenever I have seen things written about schools we are associated with - they never strike me as trying to scare off others. And honestly, they are so popular it won't matter if somebody is scared off. Furthermore, I also have more faith in applicants to do their own due diligence than to only rely on this board.

[Anonymous]

Why would any post criticizing a school to deter would-be applicants ever be so transparently blatant? It's more about subtlety and volume. Think about how disinformation campaigns on Twitter and Facebook work.