Airing the Dirty Laundry of Schools - Why?

[Anonymous]

I’ve found this forum to be useful in getting practical info about schools. This morning, I found a long string on the departures at one school, and the threat meant is a student at another.

Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

[Anonymous]

What came up in another thread is a lack of a vehicle for giving feedback to the administration, especially for employees. Frustration and concerns build up.

[Anonymous]

It's because there are a lot of prospective parents out there, as well as private school parents who are dissatisfied with their private school and might be ready to leave for greener pastures: both groups want to know which school to trust and want to know every detail. Even if some gossip might be fabricated, people tell each other that there's no smoke without fire.

And then you have the happy parents who identify with their private school and feel personally attacked when someone criticizes "their" school.

You get conflict, obviously.

[Anonymous]

A golden rule to remember is almost anyone commenting on what is or should be taught at a given school or what the daily lessons contain has ZERO experience in any classroom at that school. They haven't seen the syllabus, can't tell you what books are required there, don't know the assessments, etc.

But that doesn't slow them down. "THIS AWFUL SCHOOL DOES THIS, AND THEY NEVER DO THAT!"

Anytime I see those arguments, I tune them out. Parents can't even cite what happens in their own child's classroom in any detail. Thinking they can opine on how a given school teaches something is mostly nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A golden rule to remember is almost anyone commenting on what is or should be taught at a given school or what the daily lessons contain has ZERO experience in any classroom at that school. They haven't seen the syllabus, can't tell you what books are required there, don't know the assessments, etc.

But that doesn't slow them down. "THIS AWFUL SCHOOL DOES THIS, AND THEY NEVER DO THAT!"

Anytime I see those arguments, I tune them out. Parents can't even cite what happens in their own child's classroom in any detail. Thinking they can opine on how a given school teaches something is mostly nonsense.

Some parents I know are very involved and knowledgeable about what happens in their child's classrooms, and the curriculum used by the grade level. There will always be parents who criticize or admire a school without even knowing any details, and who post on here as well.

This is DCUM. You take the good with the bad. It happens in the public school forums, and every other topic you can think of. People love to opine, whether or not they know anything about the whatever it is!

[Anonymous]

When someone pays 50,000+ per year for their child's education, they are going to have opinions about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's because there are a lot of prospective parents out there, as well as private school parents who are dissatisfied with their private school and might be ready to leave for greener pastures: both groups want to know which school to trust and want to know every detail. Even if some gossip might be fabricated, people tell each other that there's no smoke without fire.

And then you have the happy parents who identify with their private school and feel personally attacked when someone criticizes "their" school.

You get conflict, obviously.

OP here. The thing is, I based my final decision on where to send DC to school on information gathered from face-to-face interaction with people either working at or sending their kids to each school. It wasn’t gossip here that drove my decision. How do people factor all this dirty laundry into their choices? Does it help anyone? Why not meet face to face or start text groups among concerned parties to solve a problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's because there are a lot of prospective parents out there, as well as private school parents who are dissatisfied with their private school and might be ready to leave for greener pastures: both groups want to know which school to trust and want to know every detail. Even if some gossip might be fabricated, people tell each other that there's no smoke without fire.

And then you have the happy parents who identify with their private school and feel personally attacked when someone criticizes "their" school.

You get conflict, obviously.

OP here. The thing is, I based my final decision on where to send DC to school on information gathered from face-to-face interaction with people either working at or sending their kids to each school. It wasn’t gossip here that drove my decision. How do people factor all this dirty laundry into their choices? Does it help anyone? Why not meet face to face or start text groups among concerned parties to solve a problem?

At our school, meeting in person with administrators has produced zero results. The next step is stopping donations. But if your kid is in high school, you are pretty much stuck. Then the frustration boils over and you come here to express it.

[Anonymous]

If something comes up on this forum about a school you are considering and you think there’s validity to that concern, you can ask questions if the school or potentially connect with a current family to get answers.

[Anonymous]

Gossip, knowledge sharing, whatever you want to call it. Humans are social creatures, and we like to talk/type and discuss things!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's because there are a lot of prospective parents out there, as well as private school parents who are dissatisfied with their private school and might be ready to leave for greener pastures: both groups want to know which school to trust and want to know every detail. Even if some gossip might be fabricated, people tell each other that there's no smoke without fire.

And then you have the happy parents who identify with their private school and feel personally attacked when someone criticizes "their" school.

You get conflict, obviously.

OP here. The thing is, I based my final decision on where to send DC to school on information gathered from face-to-face interaction with people either working at or sending their kids to each school. It wasn’t gossip here that drove my decision. How do people factor all this dirty laundry into their choices? Does it help anyone? Why not meet face to face or start text groups among concerned parties to solve a problem?

At our school, meeting in person with administrators has produced zero results. The next step is stopping donations. But if your kid is in high school, you are pretty much stuck. Then the frustration boils over and you come here to express it.

This is also the case at public school. While it is true that there is no tuition or donations, I have yet to see a DCUM chat move the needle in real life.

[Anonymous]

It’s because DCUM is anonymous. People want to say mean, snarky, gossipy things but don’t want people to know who they are.

Otherwise, why wouldn’t GDS have an active parent forum where all this frustration can bubble over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

I see you have discovered the Internet. Welcome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A golden rule to remember is almost anyone commenting on what is or should be taught at a given school or what the daily lessons contain has ZERO experience in any classroom at that school. They haven't seen the syllabus, can't tell you what books are required there, don't know the assessments, etc.

But that doesn't slow them down. "THIS AWFUL SCHOOL DOES THIS, AND THEY NEVER DO THAT!"

Anytime I see those arguments, I tune them out. Parents can't even cite what happens in their own child's classroom in any detail. Thinking they can opine on how a given school teaches something is mostly nonsense.

Some parents I know are very involved and knowledgeable about what happens in their child's classrooms, and the curriculum used by the grade level. There will always be parents who criticize or admire a school without even knowing any details, and who post on here as well.

This is DCUM. You take the good with the bad. It happens in the public school forums, and every other topic you can think of. People love to opine, whether or not they know anything about the whatever it is!

Some probably are - most who post here with loud opinions NEVER cite a single lesson, topic, book, project, or exercise that happened in the class that they think is going so terribly wrong.

They don't consider that a prerequisite for assessing the course contents, apparently.

Not so different from our political discourse today in a post-factual world for many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's because there are a lot of prospective parents out there, as well as private school parents who are dissatisfied with their private school and might be ready to leave for greener pastures: both groups want to know which school to trust and want to know every detail. Even if some gossip might be fabricated, people tell each other that there's no smoke without fire.

And then you have the happy parents who identify with their private school and feel personally attacked when someone criticizes "their" school.

You get conflict, obviously.

OP here. The thing is, I based my final decision on where to send DC to school on information gathered from face-to-face interaction with people either working at or sending their kids to each school. It wasn’t gossip here that drove my decision. How do people factor all this dirty laundry into their choices? Does it help anyone? Why not meet face to face or start text groups among concerned parties to solve a problem?

At our school, meeting in person with administrators has produced zero results. The next step is stopping donations. But if your kid is in high school, you are pretty much stuck. Then the frustration boils over and you come here to express it.

Yep.