Airing the Dirty Laundry of Schools - Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found this forum to be useful in getting practical info about schools. This morning, I found a long string on the departures at one school, and the threat meant is a student at another.

Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

To warn others what do you think families should just look the other way?

A lot of times, the piling on is to discourage other families from applying so that one's own kid faces less competition for when applying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found this forum to be useful in getting practical info about schools. This morning, I found a long string on the departures at one school, and the threat meant is a student at another.

Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

I don’t think any school communities are doing it. The internet obsessed cranks of dcum who happen to belong to a school community are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What came up in another thread is a lack of a vehicle for giving feedback to the administration, especially for employees. Frustration and concerns build up.

This also comes up quite a bit from parents. There was a thread on here a while ago from a parent who was having a really difficult time working with the GDS learning center. I was surprised that a few GDS parents asked the parent why they were posting. The post was taken down. I’m not questioning why the OP took the post down, but it’s unfortunate someone in a similar situation or someone trying to find related information won’t be able to judge for themself. There are other examples from Sidwell, NCS, Maret, Holton, etc. If it’s meant to be informative and not malicious then I don’t see the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What came up in another thread is a lack of a vehicle for giving feedback to the administration, especially for employees. Frustration and concerns build up.

This also comes up quite a bit from parents. There was a thread on here a while ago from a parent who was having a really difficult time working with the GDS learning center. I was surprised that a few GDS parents asked the parent why they were posting. The post was taken down. I’m not questioning why the OP took the post down, but it’s unfortunate someone in a similar situation or someone trying to find related information won’t be able to judge for themself. There are other examples from Sidwell, NCS, Maret, Holton, etc. If it’s meant to be informative and not malicious then I don’t see the issue.

I think it also comes from posters seeking community, commiseration, or answers in the school community and not getting that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What came up in another thread is a lack of a vehicle for giving feedback to the administration, especially for employees. Frustration and concerns build up.

This also comes up quite a bit from parents. There was a thread on here a while ago from a parent who was having a really difficult time working with the GDS learning center. I was surprised that a few GDS parents asked the parent why they were posting. The post was taken down. I’m not questioning why the OP took the post down, but it’s unfortunate someone in a similar situation or someone trying to find related information won’t be able to judge for themself. There are other examples from Sidwell, NCS, Maret, Holton, etc. If it’s meant to be informative and not malicious then I don’t see the issue.

I think it also comes from posters seeking community, commiseration, or answers in the school community and not getting that.

That speaks volumes. Parents want commiserating in the community not finding it come to DCUM? Maybe it’s the parents looking for commiseration who are the issue. As a PP said, not everything is high stakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What came up in another thread is a lack of a vehicle for giving feedback to the administration, especially for employees. Frustration and concerns build up.

This also comes up quite a bit from parents. There was a thread on here a while ago from a parent who was having a really difficult time working with the GDS learning center. I was surprised that a few GDS parents asked the parent why they were posting. The post was taken down. I’m not questioning why the OP took the post down, but it’s unfortunate someone in a similar situation or someone trying to find related information won’t be able to judge for themself. There are other examples from Sidwell, NCS, Maret, Holton, etc. If it’s meant to be informative and not malicious then I don’t see the issue.

I think it also comes from posters seeking community, commiseration, or answers in the school community and not getting that.

That speaks volumes. Parents want commiserating in the community not finding it come to DCUM? Maybe it’s the parents looking for commiseration who are the issue. As a PP said, not everything is high stakes.

Why are parents looking to commiserate the issue? And I don’t understand the comment about high stakes. In your opinion does the height of the stakes dictate whether someone should post? If you don’t like something that someone wrote but it has no material impact on your life you should be able to move along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What came up in another thread is a lack of a vehicle for giving feedback to the administration, especially for employees. Frustration and concerns build up.

This also comes up quite a bit from parents. There was a thread on here a while ago from a parent who was having a really difficult time working with the GDS learning center. I was surprised that a few GDS parents asked the parent why they were posting. The post was taken down. I’m not questioning why the OP took the post down, but it’s unfortunate someone in a similar situation or someone trying to find related information won’t be able to judge for themself. There are other examples from Sidwell, NCS, Maret, Holton, etc. If it’s meant to be informative and not malicious then I don’t see the issue.

I think it also comes from posters seeking community, commiseration, or answers in the school community and not getting that.

That speaks volumes. Parents want commiserating in the community not finding it come to DCUM? Maybe it’s the parents looking for commiseration who are the issue. As a PP said, not everything is high stakes.

Why are parents looking to commiserate the issue? And I don’t understand the comment about high stakes. In your opinion does the height of the stakes dictate whether someone should post? If you don’t like something that someone wrote but it has no material impact on your life you should be able to move along.

There are thousands of people in a school community. If you can’t find anyone to commiserate with you in real life, you’re probably the one with the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found this forum to be useful in getting practical info about schools. This morning, I found a long string on the departures at one school, and the threat meant is a student at another.

Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

To warn others what do you think families should just look the other way?

A lot of times, the piling on is to discourage other families from applying so that one's own kid faces less competition for when applying.

I have always thought this theory was total BS.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What came up in another thread is a lack of a vehicle for giving feedback to the administration, especially for employees. Frustration and concerns build up.

This also comes up quite a bit from parents. There was a thread on here a while ago from a parent who was having a really difficult time working with the GDS learning center. I was surprised that a few GDS parents asked the parent why they were posting. The post was taken down. I’m not questioning why the OP took the post down, but it’s unfortunate someone in a similar situation or someone trying to find related information won’t be able to judge for themself. There are other examples from Sidwell, NCS, Maret, Holton, etc. If it’s meant to be informative and not malicious then I don’t see the issue.

I think it also comes from posters seeking community, commiseration, or answers in the school community and not getting that.

That speaks volumes. Parents want commiserating in the community not finding it come to DCUM? Maybe it’s the parents looking for commiseration who are the issue. As a PP said, not everything is high stakes.

Why are parents looking to commiserate the issue? And I don’t understand the comment about high stakes. In your opinion does the height of the stakes dictate whether someone should post? If you don’t like something that someone wrote but it has no material impact on your life you should be able to move along.

There are thousands of people in a school community. If you can’t find anyone to commiserate with you in real life, you’re probably the one with the problem.

We have been part of several school communities and only one of them was so "talk to the hand" and blatently "we don't want to hear anything from parents" - it was that school we feel free to weigh in on topics on DCUM (but don't initiate any such posts) that ring true to our experience with that school. Meanwhile - we do read about what is written at the other schools for our kids and sometimes it is interesting to see what other people think is worth complaining about. Usually we haven't had that experience or we don't share the same perspective.

[Anonymous]

Venting on DCUM might make you feel better, although I think it makes you feel worse, but it is not going to have any effect on these schools and how they operate. You are delusional if you think it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask parents to think about this: was your school experience perfect? Did you have ups and downs? Were some of your teachers better for you than others? Did you experience issues with the kids at times? Were you always happy? Did the tough experiences help you later in life? Did your parents constantly intervene on your behalf, or did you need to sometimes figure things out for yourself? Is everything really a high stakes situation? Or is struggle part of growing up? Maybe the next time you sit down to write an angry email to the school, you should think about whether you are really helping your kid, or are you just fulfilling some need of your own.

That last line. Parents take out deep rooted feelings on school administrators, teachers, other kids, other parents. This is what I think people mean when they say most of the parents who complain would be unhappy at any school: their deep rooted feelings go with them wherever the parents go. It’s not about the environment.

…or sometimes school administrators and teachers screw up. I’m sure they would prefer to be left alone to screw up as much as they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found this forum to be useful in getting practical info about schools. This morning, I found a long string on the departures at one school, and the threat meant is a student at another.

Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

To warn others what do you think families should just look the other way?

A lot of times, the piling on is to discourage other families from applying so that one's own kid faces less competition for when applying.

I have always thought this theory was total BS.....

You are way underestimating how Machiavellian posters on DCUM can be, when they want. Unless you are blatantly sock puppeting, people can post anything they want and pretend to be anyone they want without any meaningful consequences, given the complete anonymity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask parents to think about this: was your school experience perfect? Did you have ups and downs? Were some of your teachers better for you than others? Did you experience issues with the kids at times? Were you always happy? Did the tough experiences help you later in life? Did your parents constantly intervene on your behalf, or did you need to sometimes figure things out for yourself? Is everything really a high stakes situation? Or is struggle part of growing up? Maybe the next time you sit down to write an angry email to the school, you should think about whether you are really helping your kid, or are you just fulfilling some need of your own.

That last line. Parents take out deep rooted feelings on school administrators, teachers, other kids, other parents. This is what I think people mean when they say most of the parents who complain would be unhappy at any school: their deep rooted feelings go with them wherever the parents go. It’s not about the environment.

…or sometimes school administrators and teachers screw up. I’m sure they would prefer to be left alone to screw up as much as they want.

Sometimes. 9 times out of 10, if no one else in the community is complaining, it’s a parent issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask parents to think about this: was your school experience perfect? Did you have ups and downs? Were some of your teachers better for you than others? Did you experience issues with the kids at times? Were you always happy? Did the tough experiences help you later in life? Did your parents constantly intervene on your behalf, or did you need to sometimes figure things out for yourself? Is everything really a high stakes situation? Or is struggle part of growing up? Maybe the next time you sit down to write an angry email to the school, you should think about whether you are really helping your kid, or are you just fulfilling some need of your own.

That last line. Parents take out deep rooted feelings on school administrators, teachers, other kids, other parents. This is what I think people mean when they say most of the parents who complain would be unhappy at any school: their deep rooted feelings go with them wherever the parents go. It’s not about the environment.

…or sometimes school administrators and teachers screw up. I’m sure they would prefer to be left alone to screw up as much as they want.

Sometimes. 9 times out of 10, if no one else in the community is complaining, it’s a parent issue.

Schools can divide and conquer. I worked for a private whose management culture included lying to everyone, just telling them what they wanted to hear and not fulfilling promises and pledges. Each subgroup knew certain instances - parents, kids, teachers. But very few knew that an overall pattern existed.

The school has lost literally hundreds of kids over the years, but painting that picture here is useful for parents who won't have the network to hear about the culture until their kids are in the middle of it.

That school promoted a staffer from that era to HOS now. You can assume the culture hasn't changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found this forum to be useful in getting practical info about schools. This morning, I found a long string on the departures at one school, and the threat meant is a student at another.

Why do these school communities come here to DCUM to air the dirty laundry of the school or endlessly defend the school?

It would seem more appropriate to do neither. What is everyone gaining from this, other than making the schools they are attached to look bad or defensive? Or others piling on while admitting lack of experience or knowledge?

To warn others what do you think families should just look the other way?

A lot of times, the piling on is to discourage other families from applying so that one's own kid faces less competition for when applying.

I have always thought this theory was total BS.....

You are way underestimating how Machiavellian posters on DCUM can be, when they want. Unless you are blatantly sock puppeting, people can post anything they want and pretend to be anyone they want without any meaningful consequences, given the complete anonymity.

Anybody that makes a decision about a school based on anonymous posters on dcum is pretty stupid. This is a gossip site for entertainment.