Feel like I'm failing as a new mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get some help if you can and call your OB and tell them how you're feeling and that you want to be screened for PPD/A.

I don’t have PPD/A. I’m just overwhelmed and exhausted.

Being overwhelmed and exhausted with one newborn who sleeps 14 hours in a 24 hour period means you probably have PPD/PPA! There is no shame in it. I had it for my first and not for my second and the difference was night and day.

My child is two weeks. He sleeps more than 14 hours. He’s a preemie who requires lot of extra care with keeping him awake for feeding, feeding every 1.5 hours, and I’m also pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock. It’s overwhelming when DH here. It will be even more overwhelming once he’s back at work.

Your health is more important than breastmilk. I am probably an outlier in that belief but you will burn out if you continue this schedule for much longer. I am a single mom and use formula. Even feeding every 3-4 hrs made me lose my mind. I didn't have much help and looking back, maybe I did suffer from depression. I thought you were supposed to feel that way. Anyway, if you have a spouse to help you, you need to get 8+ hrs of sleep every few days each week. Stop with the pumping or you will lose your mind.

[Anonymous]

The common denominator in a lot of these posts is breastfeeding. Op could actually get some rest if she used formula. Formula is freedom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get some help if you can and call your OB and tell them how you're feeling and that you want to be screened for PPD/A.

I don’t have PPD/A. I’m just overwhelmed and exhausted.

Being overwhelmed and exhausted with one newborn who sleeps 14 hours in a 24 hour period means you probably have PPD/PPA! There is no shame in it. I had it for my first and not for my second and the difference was night and day.

My child is two weeks. He sleeps more than 14 hours. He’s a preemie who requires lot of extra care with keeping him awake for feeding, feeding every 1.5 hours, and I’m also pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock. It’s overwhelming when DH here. It will be even more overwhelming once he’s back at work.

Your health is more important than breastmilk. I am probably an outlier in that belief but you will burn out if you continue this schedule for much longer. I am a single mom and use formula. Even feeding every 3-4 hrs made me lose my mind. I didn't have much help and looking back, maybe I did suffer from depression. I thought you were supposed to feel that way. Anyway, if you have a spouse to help you, you need to get 8+ hrs of sleep every few days each week. Stop with the pumping or you will lose your mind.

I’m not interested in using formula. Our goal is to get him nursing. The doctors told me breastfeeding was the best choice over formula so keep going as long as possible. I’m also very concerned with all the formula recalls. At least I know my breastmilk is fully safe and won’t have to worry about a shortage.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing magical in breastmilk. My baby was full term and weighed a pound less than yours. Babies are huge these days in western countries so people think 5 and 6 pound babies are preemies. They aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The common denominator in a lot of these posts is breastfeeding. Op could actually get some rest if she used formula. Formula is freedom

Maybe but I’m still up every feeding and only get a small break in between. I use a portable pump and feed at the same time so I’m not doing one or the other. Still very tiring. I’m making a good amount of milk and my hope is to be breastfeeding in the next month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing magical in breastmilk. My baby was full term and weighed a pound less than yours. Babies are huge these days in western countries so people think 5 and 6 pound babies are preemies. They aren't.

This isn’t true. A healthy 6-8lb baby is average almost everywhere. The issue is OPs baby was born early and lost a significant amount of with after birth. It’s not normal for your baby to lose 14% and fall off the growth chart. Serious problems can arise from this. It’s not a minor issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing magical in breastmilk. My baby was full term and weighed a pound less than yours. Babies are huge these days in western countries so people think 5 and 6 pound babies are preemies. They aren't.

This isn’t true. A healthy 6-8lb baby is average almost everywhere. The issue is OPs baby was born early and lost a significant amount of with after birth. It’s not normal for your baby to lose 14% and fall off the growth chart. Serious problems can arise from this. It’s not a minor issues.

Her baby was born one week early. Still weighs more than my full term 41 week baby. The baby won't have a mom at the rate OP is going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing magical in breastmilk. My baby was full term and weighed a pound less than yours. Babies are huge these days in western countries so people think 5 and 6 pound babies are preemies. They aren't.

This isn’t true. A healthy 6-8lb baby is average almost everywhere. The issue is OPs baby was born early and lost a significant amount of with after birth. It’s not normal for your baby to lose 14% and fall off the growth chart. Serious problems can arise from this. It’s not a minor issues.

Her baby was born one week early. Still weighs more than my full term 41 week baby. The baby won't have a mom at the rate OP is going.

Her baby was born 3 weeks early. If your 41 week old is only 5lbs that’s a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The common denominator in a lot of these posts is breastfeeding. Op could actually get some rest if she used formula. Formula is freedom

It’s the pumping. For people who were able to breastfeed pretty easily (this is not a compliment or judgement - it just works for some people) breastfeeding isn’t that much work. It’s the pumping and/or latch/supply issues that put people over the edge. I was able to breastfeed but absolutely would not have pumped. I would have done formula first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The common denominator in a lot of these posts is breastfeeding. Op could actually get some rest if she used formula. Formula is freedom

It’s the pumping. For people who were able to breastfeed pretty easily (this is not a compliment or judgement - it just works for some people) breastfeeding isn’t that much work. It’s the pumping and/or latch/supply issues that put people over the edge. I was able to breastfeed but absolutely would not have pumped. I would have done formula first.

This. Your baby wasn’t really born early. Vast majority of babies born at 37 weeks have no problems at all. I had a 5 lb 14 oz 37 weeker and no issue with weight gain. It sounds like his inability to nurse is the problem, now it’s coupled with your dedication to pumping and the exhaustion from that. Breastfeeding is a LOT more work for a baby than bottle feeding. I’m surprised your doctor hasn’t told you to supplement since he is under six pounds and hasn’t regained birth weight still after 2+ weeks. Even adding powdered formula to your breastmilk would be helpful (but def needs a dr to tell you exact ratio). But it will all be fine- just focus on feedings and your husband can cook and do laundry and whatever else in the evening

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The common denominator in a lot of these posts is breastfeeding. Op could actually get some rest if she used formula. Formula is freedom

It’s the pumping. For people who were able to breastfeed pretty easily (this is not a compliment or judgement - it just works for some people) breastfeeding isn’t that much work. It’s the pumping and/or latch/supply issues that put people over the edge. I was able to breastfeed but absolutely would not have pumped. I would have done formula first.

It’s not that much of the pumping for me. It’s the almost constant feeding and only small breaks in between that is exhausting. I use a portable pump so it’s not a big deal. It’s not easy but it’s not that bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The common denominator in a lot of these posts is breastfeeding. Op could actually get some rest if she used formula. Formula is freedom

It’s the pumping. For people who were able to breastfeed pretty easily (this is not a compliment or judgement - it just works for some people) breastfeeding isn’t that much work. It’s the pumping and/or latch/supply issues that put people over the edge. I was able to breastfeed but absolutely would not have pumped. I would have done formula first.

This. Your baby wasn’t really born early. Vast majority of babies born at 37 weeks have no problems at all. I had a 5 lb 14 oz 37 weeker and no issue with weight gain. It sounds like his inability to nurse is the problem, now it’s coupled with your dedication to pumping and the exhaustion from that. Breastfeeding is a LOT more work for a baby than bottle feeding. I’m surprised your doctor hasn’t told you to supplement since he is under six pounds and hasn’t regained birth weight still after 2+ weeks. Even adding powdered formula to your breastmilk would be helpful (but def needs a dr to tell you exact ratio). But it will all be fine- just focus on feedings and your husband can cook and do laundry and whatever else in the evening

Well the doctors know more than you do. They have said he has feeding issues. We weren’t allowed to leave the hospital and had to be readmitted. He has trouble even with bottle feeding and would barely eat anything for the first week. He was born a day before 37 weeks. He is getting better but the bottle is still a challenge.

We plan to fortify his bottles depending on how his next weight check goes. I think they said 1tsp per two ounces of milk. He is still having trouble finishing 2oz so we will see.

[Anonymous]

You can stop pumping and get some sleep or you can burn yourself out. I don't know what else you expected to hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The common denominator in a lot of these posts is breastfeeding. Op could actually get some rest if she used formula. Formula is freedom

It’s the pumping. For people who were able to breastfeed pretty easily (this is not a compliment or judgement - it just works for some people) breastfeeding isn’t that much work. It’s the pumping and/or latch/supply issues that put people over the edge. I was able to breastfeed but absolutely would not have pumped. I would have done formula first.

It’s not that much of the pumping for me. It’s the almost constant feeding and only small breaks in between that is exhausting. I use a portable pump so it’s not a big deal. It’s not easy but it’s not that bad.

You would have much longer breaks if you just fed him formula. The pumping is taking more time than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The common denominator in a lot of these posts is breastfeeding. Op could actually get some rest if she used formula. Formula is freedom

It’s the pumping. For people who were able to breastfeed pretty easily (this is not a compliment or judgement - it just works for some people) breastfeeding isn’t that much work. It’s the pumping and/or latch/supply issues that put people over the edge. I was able to breastfeed but absolutely would not have pumped. I would have done formula first.

It’s not that much of the pumping for me. It’s the almost constant feeding and only small breaks in between that is exhausting. I use a portable pump so it’s not a big deal. It’s not easy but it’s not that bad.

You would have much longer breaks if you just fed him formula. The pumping is taking more time than you think.

It doesn’t. I pump while I feeding him. I would have to feed him either way. I don’t pump when he’s not eating so I can get some rest. I still don’t sleep much because the feeding process is long. He eats at say 6am. Done around 6:45am, and sleeps until his next feeding at 7:30am. This is the routine around the clock.