Literally just stopped caring about ‘disappearing’

[Anonymous]

I guess I just developed a mindset where I don’t care whether my parents or my in-laws wonder where I’ve gone. It’s my sanity and I’m going to take time to myself without making excuses.

[Anonymous]

Oh my visits to the ILs got so much more tolerable when I started just periodically "taking a nap" or "getting some work done." I run my own business so actually I often do have small work things to do even when we are visiting them. Other times I just lie down and read, or scroll my phone. I'm not really a napper so I never actually nap, but I don't feel guilty about it because it serves the exact same purpose of a nap: I am resting and recharging.

I also tend to go to bed on the early side, but then I really do go to sleep because these visits do tend to wear me out and I need more sleep.

Zero regrets. Do what you need to do. Spending 24/7 with any family would be hard, but when it's your ILs it's especially exhausting even if they are great because it's just hard being the outsider in someone else's family dynamics.

[Anonymous]

My ILs are well-off and they have a staff that make the house run smoothly. They don't mind if we disappear to rest because they do the same.

Love my "social" introvert family!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom used to be like this. I feel you. I don't know what changed and why she's so much better now, but thank God.

My in laws, thankfully, are great people.

Good for you OP. You do what you need to do.

This. Ignore whatever they say in response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you posted about this before? I swear the exact same example about being in the bathroom too long and people loudly clamoring for your presence rings a bell.

Regardless, good for you! Just because they want things one way doesn’t mean that’s the way it has to be. The vacation has to work for everybody. Personally, I have no problem saying that I want to go to the drugstore by myself just come out and say, “I need a little downtime“ or “I need a few minutes to myself.” They can live with it.

NP and my in-laws are also like this. To the point where they will just straight-up talk to people who are in the bathroom.

I would turn on the fan, lock the door, and put Air Pods in. They can yammer all they want but I won't be responding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just spent a long weekend with my MIL where she drunkenly called my 14 yo DD "stupid as shit" for using a butter knife to cut grilled chicken.

She will never again be allowed on any sort of family vacation with our family.

Good for you for protecting your daughter!

+1000

We cut off verbally abusive in-laws once it affected our kids and have never looked back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just spent a long weekend with my MIL where she drunkenly called my 14 yo DD "stupid as shit" for using a butter knife to cut grilled chicken.

She will never again be allowed on any sort of family vacation with our family.

Good for you for protecting your daughter!

My MIL is getting slapped if she called my kid stupid.

That's just stupid on your part. Slapping someone is not ok. Neither is calling a child stupid, of course, but two wrongs don't make a right. She does that, you leave and cut off contact (assuming no acknowledgement, apology, etc.). Slapping her does nothing but make you the biggest perpetrator.