How to deal with larger family after false accusation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has everyone checked their wallets for missing cash? The small appliance theft is odd.

No he pawned it to get money for drugs. I'm sure if a local pond shop by the air bnb was checked or by your family's house was checked yiu would find the missing stuff.

I'm also surprised the air bnb doesn't have a camera.

[Anonymous]

1) talk to the cousin teen directly and remind him what you saw and give him a chance to speak up.
2) why was your son fingered as the suspect?

[Anonymous]

The kid who stole the appliances is a young adult and obviously struggling with something. This feels sad all around (including, of course, for your son). Creating more inter-relational drama seems messy, I'm guessing all of the young adults are concerned that one of the cousins is facing some sort of addiction? I say this having grown up under similar circumstances: in my close knit cousin group one of us had addiction issues that ended up getting out of hand like this one. It was a hard time for everyone. I'd try to have some compassion but also make it clear that your son comes first in your world and you're not going to let his name be slandered. But seriously think about teaming up and lending support for the one in crisis.

[Anonymous]

OP’s son is at minimum 18. If my loser cousin tried to implicate me in their crime, and while my grandparents claimed to believe my innocence, they didn’t shut down my aunt and uncle’s crazy ultimatum to banish me from family events, I wouldn’t want to go to their anniversary party either.

The cousins know what’s going on with the problem cousin. The grandparents know. I guarantee all of DH’s siblings know too. There’s really no need to clear the son’s name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- husband supports son. Spoke with his parents. They believe our son. I’m not sure which other cousins/aunts and uncles know at this point. Husband reserved a separate place for anniversary party. Will show up day of for parents. Older son can do same if he wants or skip it. I’m not interested in making everyone take sides and ruin anniversary party. At that point everyone will know why. Younger son and I will not go; grandparents understand.

Thanks for various suggestions. I support my husband visiting with his family. One family unit with problems shouldn’t prevent being with everyone else.

Going forward, I do not want to spend anytime with the accusing family, even if it means missing Christmas at my in-laws, which has been fun over the years. Hope I am justified in this and it’s not over-reaction.

Dang! There is ZERO chance my DH would go to this. Sad. He would support our son.

[Anonymous]

You people are wild! Love an comfortable peace versus a uncomfortable pursuit of truth. There is no way in this world this kid and those parents are 'good people'. I'm guessing they are the most well-off (at least by appearances), spend the cash and rule the roost. They in turn have about 15 adults and kids yielding to them. In my family, if my aunt would have seen me doing something weird/odd - she would have 1. Asked what I was doing 2. Snatched me and called me out when I tried to point the figure at my cousin.

Grow a pair and tell everyone else to. Or, just disengage. Lord!