How to deal with larger family after false accusation?

[Anonymous]

WHY NOT TELL ANYONE WHAT YOU SAW? That would be the easy solution compared to this game you are playing- I’m agreeing troll

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

I read your follow-up.

Next time, please include all relevant info in your first post. It's actually important to the discussion to tell us who you spoke with regarding the theft you witnessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you haven’t told everyone that you witnessed the nephew steal the items?

I hope you’re a troll.

If not, you’re insane and a horrible mother.

+1 omfg

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- husband supports son. Spoke with his parents. They believe our son. I’m not sure which other cousins/aunts and uncles know at this point. Husband reserved a separate place for anniversary party. Will show up day of for parents. Older son can do same if he wants or skip it. I’m not interested in making everyone take sides and ruin anniversary party. At that point everyone will know why. Younger son and I will not go; grandparents understand.

Thanks for various suggestions. I support my husband visiting with his family. One family unit with problems shouldn’t prevent being with everyone else.

Going forward, I do not want to spend anytime with the accusing family, even if it means missing Christmas at my in-laws, which has been fun over the years. Hope I am justified in this and it’s not over-reaction.

Ok but did you tell your nephews parents that you witnessed their son stealing the items?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- husband supports son. Spoke with his parents. They believe our son. I’m not sure which other cousins/aunts and uncles know at this point. Husband reserved a separate place for anniversary party. Will show up day of for parents. Older son can do same if he wants or skip it. I’m not interested in making everyone take sides and ruin anniversary party. At that point everyone will know why. Younger son and I will not go; grandparents understand.

Thanks for various suggestions. I support my husband visiting with his family. One family unit with problems shouldn’t prevent being with everyone else.

Going forward, I do not want to spend anytime with the accusing family, even if it means missing Christmas at my in-laws, which has been fun over the years. Hope I am justified in this and it’s not over-reaction.

Ok but did you tell your nephews parents that you witnessed their son stealing the items?

DP here. From the above I infer that she has not said a word. Her poor son.

[Anonymous]

Do other extended family members actually support the lying family, or are they just uncomfortable and trying to stay out of it and let it blow over? If that latter, I would still see them. But if they're believing the lies and blaming my kid, I would distance myself and expect my spouse to support that.

[Anonymous]

So why didn't OP tell them that the last time she saw the appliances, the nephew was taking them out to his car on XX date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why didn't OP tell them that the last time she saw the appliances, the nephew was taking them out to his car on XX date?

My guess is she doesn't want to be the bad guy so she is making her son be the bad guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- husband supports son. Spoke with his parents. They believe our son. I’m not sure which other cousins/aunts and uncles know at this point. Husband reserved a separate place for anniversary party. Will show up day of for parents. Older son can do same if he wants or skip it. I’m not interested in making everyone take sides and ruin anniversary party. At that point everyone will know why. Younger son and I will not go; grandparents understand.

Thanks for various suggestions. I support my husband visiting with his family. One family unit with problems shouldn’t prevent being with everyone else.

Going forward, I do not want to spend anytime with the accusing family, even if it means missing Christmas at my in-laws, which has been fun over the years. Hope I am justified in this and it’s not over-reaction.

Ok but did you tell your nephews parents that you witnessed their son stealing the items?

DP here. From the above I infer that she has not said a word. Her poor son.

+1
Don’t understand how some people survive this world being total doormats.

Op, why didn’t you simply tell Bil and Sil what you saw? Are they volatile?

[Anonymous]

No way this is a one-off. The family of whoever did it knows who did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- husband supports son. Spoke with his parents. They believe our son. I’m not sure which other cousins/aunts and uncles know at this point. Husband reserved a separate place for anniversary party. Will show up day of for parents. Older son can do same if he wants or skip it. I’m not interested in making everyone take sides and ruin anniversary party. At that point everyone will know why. Younger son and I will not go; grandparents understand.

Thanks for various suggestions. I support my husband visiting with his family. One family unit with problems shouldn’t prevent being with everyone else.

Going forward, I do not want to spend anytime with the accusing family, even if it means missing Christmas at my in-laws, which has been fun over the years. Hope I am justified in this and it’s not over-reaction.

No no no no no
You are absolutely an idiot

Your son did nothing wrong and your husband is going to his parents anniversary party with people accusing him?! You are both sickening.

That is not support that is stupidity.

You are not a good person because you are handeling this pathetic group with kid gloves, you are a shitty person not standing 100 percent with your son. Your husband is a horrible father.

[Anonymous]

OP- back for more abuse. I guess you’ve affirmed my choice to have nothing to do with them going forward. Not that your collective opinions would be a deciding factor, but the feedback is of interest.

To clarify:
1. accusing family told. They just denied it was possible and wouldn’t discuss it.
2. grandparents told. They know and believe my son is innocent.
3. I still don’t know what all the cousins know, they are not local and we were dispersed by the time the issue came up. I’m assuming they will know eventually, but being my in-law family, I’m not calling them all.
4. accused son and I will not join any events that family unit attends. Call us horrible, but I’m not going to try and control who the rest of our family sees. Not going to tell husband not to see parents.

As a few PPs noted, this will eventually blow up for them because they clearly have bigger problems.

Probably won’t reply any more. Thanks for your input.

[Anonymous]

lol at "more abuse". 95% of the "abuse" was people asking if you spoke up, you wouldn’t answer. You’re not a "victim" here.

[Anonymous]

Im biting. Not sure where the idea we didn’t didn’t speak up comes from. Of course we told them. And grandparents. I just didn’t call the extended family who were not part of the original phone conversations. If my kids knew that cousin has issues, I’m sure a number of the other cousins do too.