Is there any reason my husband of 20 years would order an STI test other than he cheated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely no man on Earth gets STD tests after 25 years of monogamous marriage.

So proceed accordingly.

Did you even read the thread?
There's a few people that do, for various reasons.

[Anonymous]

One time on a long train trip I dozed off on the metro late at night, and had weird interaction with a transient on the train. It didn’t escalate but I was asleep and awoke to him being very close to me in an inappropriate way. I worried about a needle prick or something (I’m a heavy sleeper).

Definitely a bit paranoid to test, but I just wanted to be sure for DW sake (she was nursing at the time too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he didn't give you genital herpes.

Someone definitely gave her genital herpes.

When I was tested after my husband’s affair, they said they can’t “test” for herpes because most everyone has the HSV virus, that the tests can’t differentiate between the type that causes cold sores and the type that causes vaginal lesions.

Well that’s just flat out wrong. I was tested and ex after his affair and there are definitely different antibody tests for hsv-1 and hsv-2. There are tests that distinguish it. He was positive for the oral/mild one, but thankfully negative for the bad one.

Hsv-2 is the bad one. Hsv-1 is the one most everyone has- oral, cold sores, kids have it sharing drinks, etc. and often never comes back. Hsv-2 is the sexual one that causes the bad genital breakouts. Yes you can get hsv-1 mouth to genital- but it doesn’t cause those bad blistery breakouts.

And, no, most people don’t have hsv-2.

Most people don't. But a significant portion do have hsv-2. 25% in the US.

[Anonymous]

Why would he have a “folder” on his desk? Who gets paper test results?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he didn't give you genital herpes.

Someone definitely gave her genital herpes.

When I was tested after my husband’s affair, they said they can’t “test” for herpes because most everyone has the HSV virus, that the tests can’t differentiate between the type that causes cold sores and the type that causes vaginal lesions.

That is patently incorrect. The tests are accurate and able to distinguish HSV1 from HSV2. As for the a hole later in the thread who called HSV2 "the bad one" well you need to get a grip and stop stigmatizing. Did it ever occur to you that women get it from men they trust who either lie about their health, or genuinely don't know they are infected because their symptoms are so mild? Herpes won't kill you like HPV, HIV and syphillis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw the order in a folder on his desk. A few months ago I had some strange blisters and burning you know where. It went away pretty quickly. I had mentioned it to him and he gave it a shrug. Now I find this piece of paper from a lab for STI testing. This is bad, right?

Yes, he slept with someone other than you.

[Anonymous]

My gyn’s office offers this test every time I’ve gone for my annual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw the order in a folder on his desk. A few months ago I had some strange blisters and burning you know where. It went away pretty quickly. I had mentioned it to him and he gave it a shrug. Now I find this piece of paper from a lab for STI testing. This is bad, right?

He either cheated or is going to say to a judge that you cheated. Be prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My gyn’s office offers this test every time I’ve gone for my annual.

Mine never has. Maybe you are promiscuous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sharing all the complete, exact information, dates, etc. because I'm almost positive that he comes on here. The order for the test is dated from before I ever had symptoms (I have a reason to chalk symptoms like that up to other things and had no reason to be super worried--mostly because I assumed I had been exposed only to him in over 25 years). It just so happens I found the test order recently--months after the "episode."

He cheated. I'm sorry.

I thought I had an STD about a year ago. I readily told my DH about it, because under very rare circumstances you can get it from things other than sexual contact -- and I knew for sure I hadn't had any sexual contact. DH is asexual and hasn't been interested in years, and I wasn't doing it with anyone else.

My point is that if you think you need an STD test, and know you aren't guilty, it's not the kind of thing you hide. It's the "This is so weird! I think I have this! WTF?" Or, alternatively, given that you are sexually active, it's the "We really need to talk, I'm having these symptoms and need to know what the hell is going on...are you cheating?" conversation. Either way, it's not kept secret. If it's kept secret ... he's cheating.

Get yourself to the doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope he didn't give you genital herpes.

Sounds to me like he might have.

I know a woman who got it from her DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My gyn’s office offers this test every time I’ve gone for my annual.

Mine never has. Maybe you are promiscuous?

Mine does. I turn it down since I’ve been married 20 years and don’t have any reason to think my spouse has cheated.

Fwiw I’m a physician and we’re taught to offer it to everyone because you never know when someone might want testing but be hesitant to bring it up on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My gyn’s office offers this test every time I’ve gone for my annual.

Mine never has. Maybe you are promiscuous?

Is your gyn the only one on the planet? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My gyn’s office offers this test every time I’ve gone for my annual.

Mine never has. Maybe you are promiscuous?

They know a wrinkled old prune like you isn’t getting any so why bother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you had some strange blisters and burning and YOU didn't get an STI test?

This. You need a test OP.