Is there any reason my husband of 20 years would order an STI test other than he cheated?

[Anonymous]

I saw the order in a folder on his desk. A few months ago I had some strange blisters and burning you know where. It went away pretty quickly. I had mentioned it to him and he gave it a shrug. Now I find this piece of paper from a lab for STI testing. This is bad, right?

[Anonymous]

What's the order of events? If he got the test after your symptoms it seems more likely that he thinks you cheated.

[Anonymous]

Wait, you had some strange blisters and burning and YOU didn't get an STI test?

[Anonymous]

As someone who has experience with this, yes, that’s the only reason. Please get yourself tested, too.

[Anonymous]

You need to get tested, OP. Maybe it’s a long dormant infection that just manifested itself.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sharing all the complete, exact information, dates, etc. because I'm almost positive that he comes on here. The order for the test is dated from before I ever had symptoms (I have a reason to chalk symptoms like that up to other things and had no reason to be super worried--mostly because I assumed I had been exposed only to him in over 25 years). It just so happens I found the test order recently--months after the "episode."

[Anonymous]

Many adults do this as a matter of course, with no cheating and no symptoms of anything.

He may have cheated.

He may have thought you cheated for some reason.

He may have had symptoms of something even though he did not cheat, and the something may or may not be an STD.

Did your symptoms lead you to get tested? Was the result positive for an STD?

[Anonymous]

You should get tested ASAP. He probably cheated.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I'm very sorry. Please go get a full STI testing panel done, and contact a good lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many adults do this as a matter of course, with no cheating and no symptoms of anything.

He may have cheated.

He may have thought you cheated for some reason.

He may have had symptoms of something even though he did not cheat, and the something may or may not be an STD.

Did your symptoms lead you to get tested? Was the result positive for an STD?

Many? Really? And you know this, how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw the order in a folder on his desk. A few months ago I had some strange blisters and burning you know where. It went away pretty quickly. I had mentioned it to him and he gave it a shrug. Now I find this piece of paper from a lab for STI testing. This is bad, right?

Unfortunately women tend to show STIs symptoms more than men and that's why it's so important for men to be tested regularly. I am single and a lot of my friends haven't been tested in over a year and they are sleeping with different women. And these women don't insist on STI tests from these men as well which put them at higher risks.

OP I am sorry.

[Anonymous]

I hope he didn't give you genital herpes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sharing all the complete, exact information, dates, etc. because I'm almost positive that he comes on here. The order for the test is dated from before I ever had symptoms (I have a reason to chalk symptoms like that up to other things and had no reason to be super worried--mostly because I assumed I had been exposed only to him in over 25 years). It just so happens I found the test order recently--months after the "episode."

OP, I’m so sorry. This is exactly how I found out about my DH affair. He had run off to be tested but stupidly used the pharmacy linked to our insurance company, and I saw the benefit statement when it arrived in the mail.

Please get yourself tested.

Then please trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

You should get tested.

Him cheating does seem likely, but it's also possible either that he thinks you cheated or that he had some weird symptoms and got tested to rule out STIs. When I got a rash on my hands they tested me for syphilis, for example.

[Anonymous]

Well... he thinks you cheated?

Also, as a man who has had some issues with the ol' waterworks (non-STI related) when I went in to talk to the doctor, they ordered STI tests as a matter of course. I insisted that I was happily married for 10+ years and had never cheated (all true) but

A) they don't know, or care, and they have to do their job
B) it is possible that me (or my wife) had a dormant STI
C) it's possibly my wife was cheating and they had to find out.

Now, when I got home from the doctor, I filled my wife in and explained to her that they ordered the STI test, despite my protestations that I don't cheat, and she sort of chuckled and we both forgot about it (they were negative) but if I hadn't told my wife and she had come across my records, maybe she would've come to the same conclusion as you.