Is there any reason my husband of 20 years would order an STI test other than he cheated?

[Anonymous]

Herpes is really not something to worry about. Syphilis and HIV are.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't necessarily mean he cheated. Herpes is a virus that many people have and don't know they have it. People get it when they are young and have one minor blister and then never again. In lots of people, the virus doesn't go away, though, it just lies dormant at the nerve roots. (Like chickenpox! This is how having chickenpox as a kid means you can get shingles as an adult) When they get older, the virus can pop out again and cause an outbreak. It's because your immune system weakens due to age or stress.

He could have caught herpes when he was young and unmarried, and then not had an outbreak until now.

Herpes is a nuisance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't necessarily mean he cheated. Herpes is a virus that many people have and don't know they have it. People get it when they are young and have one minor blister and then never again. In lots of people, the virus doesn't go away, though, it just lies dormant at the nerve roots. (Like chickenpox! This is how having chickenpox as a kid means you can get shingles as an adult) When they get older, the virus can pop out again and cause an outbreak. It's because your immune system weakens due to age or stress.

He could have caught herpes when he was young and unmarried, and then not had an outbreak until now.

Herpes is a nuisance.

I think warts works the same way.

Also, OP could have given him the herpes and he's just finding out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP adding a little extra info: he doesn't have a regular doctor. The order was from some online place that you order blood testing from. There was no doctor involved. Thanks for all the input so far. And yes to new and strange behaviors, especially phone use. I just see him texting and being into his phone much more in the last two years or so than before. The fact is, I really don't even care anymore. I don't want to have syphilis, but I would be happy to be done with him.

Plan that divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP adding a little extra info: he doesn't have a regular doctor. The order was from some online place that you order blood testing from. There was no doctor involved. Thanks for all the input so far. And yes to new and strange behaviors, especially phone use. I just see him texting and being into his phone much more in the last two years or so than before. The fact is, I really don't even care anymore. I don't want to have syphilis, but I would be happy to be done with him.

Plan that divorce.

Yeah, he found out about your cheating when his doctor ordered the STI test.

[Anonymous]

You have herpes. You are going to want to get some Valtrex to take when you have another outbreak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he didn't give you genital herpes.

Someone definitely gave her genital herpes.

When I was tested after my husband’s affair, they said they can’t “test” for herpes because most everyone has the HSV virus, that the tests can’t differentiate between the type that causes cold sores and the type that causes vaginal lesions.

Well that’s just flat out wrong. I was tested and ex after his affair and there are definitely different antibody tests for hsv-1 and hsv-2. There are tests that distinguish it. He was positive for the oral/mild one, but thankfully negative for the bad one.

Hsv-2 is the bad one. Hsv-1 is the one most everyone has- oral, cold sores, kids have it sharing drinks, etc. and often never comes back. Hsv-2 is the sexual one that causes the bad genital breakouts. Yes you can get hsv-1 mouth to genital- but it doesn’t cause those bad blistery breakouts.

And, no, most people don’t have hsv-2.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been married for 12 years. A year ago I had crazy itching and burning and decided to test. I couldn’t get into LabCorp (the office near me was having an IT issue) and was about to travel so I went to CVS and bought one of those mail in tests. Everything was negative. Turned out to be severe dryness due to hormonal changes and aquafor fixed it. It is definitely weird that you found the order but at the same time, perhaps he was just freaked out like I was? I hope your story has a happy ending, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he didn't give you genital herpes.

Someone definitely gave her genital herpes.

When I was tested after my husband’s affair, they said they can’t “test” for herpes because most everyone has the HSV virus, that the tests can’t differentiate between the type that causes cold sores and the type that causes vaginal lesions.

Well that’s just flat out wrong. I was tested and ex after his affair and there are definitely different antibody tests for hsv-1 and hsv-2. There are tests that distinguish it. He was positive for the oral/mild one, but thankfully negative for the bad one.

Hsv-2 is the bad one. Hsv-1 is the one most everyone has- oral, cold sores, kids have it sharing drinks, etc. and often never comes back. Hsv-2 is the sexual one that causes the bad genital breakouts. Yes you can get hsv-1 mouth to genital- but it doesn’t cause those bad blistery breakouts.

And, no, most people don’t have hsv-2.

Wild. They told me this at Planned Parenthood!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been married for 12 years. A year ago I had crazy itching and burning and decided to test. I couldn’t get into LabCorp (the office near me was having an IT issue) and was about to travel so I went to CVS and bought one of those mail in tests. Everything was negative. Turned out to be severe dryness due to hormonal changes and aquafor fixed it. It is definitely weird that you found the order but at the same time, perhaps he was just freaked out like I was? I hope your story has a happy ending, OP.

His test predated her outbreak!

[Anonymous]

Man here, happily married, not cheating. My doctor orders it as part of my annual physical anyway, since I'm "sexually active" (though just with DW).

Also I had some issues "down there" and the urologist ordered the test just to eliminate that as a cause. So, it is possible for non-cheaters to have this test for legit reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw the order in a folder on his desk. A few months ago I had some strange blisters and burning you know where. It went away pretty quickly. I had mentioned it to him and he gave it a shrug. Now I find this piece of paper from a lab for STI testing. This is bad, right?

Go get tested now. Tell your doctor about the symptoms. Get tested for everything including syphilis and HIV. Some need swab others need a blood test. Ask for them all. Also get a pap as if you might have HPV.

I have been married 13+ years never cheated but my husband travels for work. I trust him but get tested every year. You just never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many adults do this as a matter of course, with no cheating and no symptoms of anything.

He may have cheated.

He may have thought you cheated for some reason.

He may have had symptoms of something even though he did not cheat, and the something may or may not be an STD.

Did your symptoms lead you to get tested? Was the result positive for an STD?

lol, no they do not. Not ones married for 25 years, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely no man on Earth gets STD tests after 25 years of monogamous marriage.

So proceed accordingly.

[Anonymous]

I get tested every year even though I believe my spouse and I are monogamous. It is because I had an ex who had so many affairs and slept with men and I just want peace of mind.