Moms with fancy jobs

[Anonymous]

My job is not that fancy but it's busy enough. Two kids are hard. It was easier with one and a nanny. We have very active grandparents who do 2 days a week pickup and take to activities. DH WFH half the week and does drop offs. This allows me to work early and also travel without worrying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither role gets done well. Lots of guilt on both ends.

100%. With some rare exceptions, if you want a successful career, your family life will suffer. If you prioritize your family, your career suffers. All the men VPs at my company have SAH wives. The women are all either single or have a stay at home spouse or spouse with a lower level, flexible job.

Now that my kids are close to graduating HS, I regret all the time and effort I spent climbing the ladder at the expense of family time. On the flip side, if I hadn’t done so, we would not have had the same lifestyle- the big house, private schools, etc. If I had a do-over, I might have made different choices.

When my kids hit late middle school/early high school, I quit. We had enough money, my DH ramped up his work (and got bigger and bigger and more lucrative jobs, funny how that works) so that I could focus more on them and their activities. They seemed to need me more as they go older, and my work involved A LOT of international travel.

I read a couple of articles/studies that showed when a woman reduces her workload or quits, it almost always benefits her husband's career. Not so the other way around. Interesting and says a lot about our corporate culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most important thing: only one kid

Also:
- supportive husband with a flex job. But he doesn’t contribute that much to running the household. He’s currently out of town for two weeks for work, and it’s no big deal - I’m used to keeping stuff running.
- full time remote work
- worked PT 30 hours a week for ages 1-5
- I’m outrageously organized and like to be doing stuff all the time.

Currently make 1.5m. Dh makes another 1m.

No sacrifices by either of us. Extremely successful marriage. Extremely involved with my kid, do bus drop off and pick up every day (MS currently), dinner all three of us together every night. Dh and I have a pre dinner drink together every night. Also exercise daily. Never had a nanny or regular babysitter. Sleep 8 hours a night.

Ultimately, the key is only one kid, remote work and being organized and enjoy doing stuff. Not everyone is wired to be able to do what I do - in the job or in my personal life.

Wow you are my hero! We do a lot of the same things where have dinner together every night, never had a nanny and I'm basically the SAHM but I also have a job making only $250k. How do I level up my salary like you?

You’re a SAHM making 250k?

No I own my own business but I'm like a SAHM because we don't have a nanny and I'm the room parents and very involved with my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my friends are CEOs, and they both have husbands who stay home. The dads might dabble/ freelance a little, but home/ kids come first.

Similar friends, but one of the women has a long-term AP, and the other has “stories” while on travel.

Neither respect their DH.

Oh look, it's the lying troll of the patriarchy again. Back under your bridge, you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my friends are CEOs, and they both have husbands who stay home. The dads might dabble/ freelance a little, but home/ kids come first.

Similar friends, but one of the women has a long-term AP, and the other has “stories” while on travel.

Neither respect their DH.

That is a damn shame, because a parent who is willing to support their partner and do the heavy lifting for shared kids should be regarded as a hero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re a mom and you are very successful and driven at work, can you talk about how you balance your career and your kids?

I'm not sure I understand the meaning of "fancy jobs", being "successful," and being "driven" and what those things have to do with balancing your career and your kids. I could see someone who has a menial job they hate but works a lot of hours to make ends meet and also has to figure out a work/life balance.

If you mean fancy jobs that come with a lot of money then throw money at the problem to the extent you can. Cleaners, gardeners, meal prep, etc. I try to hire out whatever I can so that my time is spent with my family.

If by being successful and driven you mean someone who loves their job and wants to put effort into it, then I would suggest being 100% present in every situation to the extent you can. When you're at work, silence your phone (I have exceptions for my husband, kids, and their school), and be as productive as possible while you're there. When you're at home, put down your phone and engage with your family. Schedule time for things so they don't slip through the cracks. Find clever ways to spend time together (games, sports, outings, travel).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an involved husband and a nanny 50 hours per week.

+1 Three adults needed for 2 kids, particularly when they're small.

Yes to this! I called our nanny my wife, and she was crucial when our kids were younger and my husband had to travel internationally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:most important thing: only one kid

Also:
- supportive husband with a flex job. But he doesn’t contribute that much to running the household. He’s currently out of town for two weeks for work, and it’s no big deal - I’m used to keeping stuff running.
- full time remote work
- worked PT 30 hours a week for ages 1-5
- I’m outrageously organized and like to be doing stuff all the time.

Currently make 1.5m. Dh makes another 1m.

No sacrifices by either of us. Extremely successful marriage. Extremely involved with my kid, do bus drop off and pick up every day (MS currently), dinner all three of us together every night. Dh and I have a pre dinner drink together every night. Also exercise daily. Never had a nanny or regular babysitter. Sleep 8 hours a night.

Ultimately, the key is only one kid, remote work and being organized and enjoy doing stuff. Not everyone is wired to be able to do what I do - in the job or in my personal life.

Can I ask - when do you sleep? You say you get 8 hours a night, but if you're going bus drop off I assume you don't start working until 7:30 at the earliest? And then you do pickup, so you're there by 3?

I work from 7:30-4 (my kids take the bus and that's when they get on and off) and I make good money but not 7 figures, so I'm a bit in awe of your situation.

[Anonymous]

Young women in the U.S. in 2025 overwhelming lack respect for men who become SAHDs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you all making amazing $$$ share what industry you're in!

Law but a niche area that most people would hate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I switched to freelance work because I didn’t have childcare and would get fired quickly for needing to take sick days (single mom).

Over about 3 years I spent every spare minute learning (podcasts, courses, etc), building a portfolio, and networking so I could become one of the best in my field. Every time I made a sale, I raised my prices while also lowering the scope of work, so I got paid more to do less.

Right now I hover at about 4 hours of work a day for $10-20k/month. I can scale up or down as needed.

Currently building up the biz to scale to $100k/month with a 50-60% profit margin, while letting me step back from it almost 100% (I’ll probably still do a few hours a week just so I know what’s going on).

Biggest thing I’ve learned is to work smarter, not harder. Being driven and ambitious doesn’t mean working 60-80 hours a week, it means finding what will make you the most profit so you can reduce hours. The biggest thing I tell people is really push the boundaries of how much you can get paid for the least amount of work possible (which means you also need to show proof you can get results).

MLM?

PP. No, I do full stack digital marketing. Most people focus on just one aspect - social media posts, writing blogs, SEO, etc. I'm more of a Swiss Army Knife that can come in to a business, diagnose the specific problem(s), fix it, and increase sales. Sometimes I build out the entire marketing department for brands.

Have you seen the post in the General Parenting where all these people are slamming anyone who works on a laptop as lazy? You should comment over there.

Congrats on your set up, it sounds amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither role gets done well. Lots of guilt on both ends.

100%. With some rare exceptions, if you want a successful career, your family life will suffer. If you prioritize your family, your career suffers. All the men VPs at my company have SAH wives. The women are all either single or have a stay at home spouse or spouse with a lower level, flexible job.

Now that my kids are close to graduating HS, I regret all the time and effort I spent climbing the ladder at the expense of family time. On the flip side, if I hadn’t done so, we would not have had the same lifestyle- the big house, private schools, etc. If I had a do-over, I might have made different choices.

People always say that, but if the shoe were on the other foot like it is for some of us, you would complain about all of your single friends who have fancy titles, awesome homes/cars, who take luxury vacations.

I am someone that floats both worlds, but mainly a p/t worker the past few years. I have given my all to launch my kids. Truth be told, I miss the prestige and trappings of a six-figure income that I used to have. DH advanced a lot while I juggled job/home/kids.

Retraining now. May be able to get back to $150k salary soon. But I do miss it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Young women in the U.S. in 2025 overwhelming lack respect for men who become SAHDs.

This is a lie. I don't know how you escaped from the manosphere, but you are not welcome here with your retrograde propaganda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my friends are CEOs, and they both have husbands who stay home. The dads might dabble/ freelance a little, but home/ kids come first.

Similar friends, but one of the women has a long-term AP, and the other has “stories” while on travel.

Neither respect their DH.

That is a damn shame, because a parent who is willing to support their partner and do the heavy lifting for shared kids should be regarded as a hero.

Don't worry, PP is trolling. Just making things up to push a weird never-happened world of nostalgic patriarchy.

[Anonymous]

You work yourself into a position that you know really well and it’s time for a promotion, but you don’t go for the promotion.

You sit in that job until your kids are old enough that you can ramp back up.

That might be K or HS or college.

For my SIL it was middle school for me it was collage.

Know yourself everybody is different.