Teen didn't do anything for Mother's Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Why did ask the younger one when she made the card? Why not allow your family to save face that they were planning for you. I think you get off on stories about being forgotten by your family. Why not clearly express what you want each year and then hold firm to it?

Right. It's all me. I'm not allowed to have emotions, especially negative ones. I am, however, allowed to be the family slave and emotional garbage can. You must be my husband.

DP but you got a card from each kid and an offer of a lunch out. You could have said "I'd rather go to X than Applebee's" and gotten your lunch out; you could have ordered whatever you wanted for dinner and not had to cook or clean up! But you really do seem to be reveling in your misery. You're complaining that a 9 year old didn't plan far enough in advance for your liking; you're the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Not PP, but you're old enough to set your own expectations and announce what you want for that day. I do not expect anything from my family on Mother's Day, apart from my husband's flowers - because *he* loves flowers and therefore will always remember them, ha!!! I cook my favorite foods, and tell someone else to clean up, because it's how I want the day to go. We usually go for a nice walk. It's also how I celebrate my birthday!

I do not expect my teen and young adult to make cards - sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, if they do it's always last-minute. I don't expect them to remember on their own. We all have ADHD. At their age, I didn't remember either, and my father would give a last-minute gift to my mother (usually jewelry in her favorite colors).

Your teen lied to you because they sensed your disappointment. Stop expecting something they can't give, it's going to make everyone miserable, including yourself.

Maybe, but a lie is a lie. Dh lied too once the other one said 'we planned this yesterday'. Honestly it's not too much to ask for them to tell the truth. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize this would upset you. Please let me help with dinner." But I suppose you would this I'm expecting too much because I'm a woman and have feelings, which are only supposed to be positive. Honestly I've never forgot Christmas, Easter, valentines, birthdays Thanksgiving. Yet I'm suppose to live being a servant without thanks. I get it.

It's bad they lied. But we're sensing that your passive-aggressiveness has something to do with it, that's why several posters have countered your whining.

Change yourself. Speak up. Announce that on this day you want to do such and such (and make it really basic and easy to attain, otherwise you're setting them up for failure). If you cannot understand your own role in your misery, no one can help you - you'll just be doomed to complain all your life. And if you do that, you can say goodbye to eldercare and visits. Your children won't want to help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP’s family is lame. I have two juniors in high school. They each took an AP exam last week and one of them has 3 more this week, including a particularly difficult one today. Each of my kids made me a card. One has ADHD and probably only spent 1-2 minutes on it. She likes to write and really has a way with words, so I had asked to write something about me as a mother. Instead she made a card that said, “I love you more than words can say.” Lol, that’s just her. My other dd (the one with 3 APs this week and her prom on Friday) really likes to make cards and she’s known for making some pretty elaborate ones. She didn’t disappoint. My kids took turns feeding and walking the dog. I got to take a nap.

My children’s father and I are in the middle of getting divorced. I had told dd in advance what I wanted to eat on Mother’s Day. She coordinated with her dad and he ordered the food and delivered it to us and stayed for a family dinner. Even though we’re divorcing, he had texted me to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day earlier in the day. He also sent flowers, “from the kids.” I will make a nice Father’s Day for him too, because our kids deserve happy family memories and stress free holidays.

If my family can pull off a nice Mother’s Day, OP’s family can too.

You sound so cringe and lame and even managed to gratuitously brag about your family in a thread where the OP is upset about how she was treated.

Not surprised you’re getting a divorce to be honest, you’re such an insufferable hag. So tacky to ask your daughter to write something deep about you as a mother, and to tell them in advance what to eat. Go to a restaurant and everyone orders a meal to their liking.

If you have any compassion to your ex let him celebrate Father’s Day alone with his kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Why did ask the younger one when she made the card? Why not allow your family to save face that they were planning for you. I think you get off on stories about being forgotten by your family. Why not clearly express what you want each year and then hold firm to it?

Right. It's all me. I'm not allowed to have emotions, especially negative ones. I am, however, allowed to be the family slave and emotional garbage can. You must be my husband.

DP but you got a card from each kid and an offer of a lunch out. You could have said "I'd rather go to X than Applebee's" and gotten your lunch out; you could have ordered whatever you wanted for dinner and not had to cook or clean up! But you really do seem to be reveling in your misery. You're complaining that a 9 year old didn't plan far enough in advance for your liking; you're the problem.

No, I'm complaining about my a$$hole husband. And it's every day. Mother's day is just one more thing amongst a million others. I'd give us 6 months max.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Not PP, but you're old enough to set your own expectations and announce what you want for that day. I do not expect anything from my family on Mother's Day, apart from my husband's flowers - because *he* loves flowers and therefore will always remember them, ha!!! I cook my favorite foods, and tell someone else to clean up, because it's how I want the day to go. We usually go for a nice walk. It's also how I celebrate my birthday!

I do not expect my teen and young adult to make cards - sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, if they do it's always last-minute. I don't expect them to remember on their own. We all have ADHD. At their age, I didn't remember either, and my father would give a last-minute gift to my mother (usually jewelry in her favorite colors).

Your teen lied to you because they sensed your disappointment. Stop expecting something they can't give, it's going to make everyone miserable, including yourself.

Maybe, but a lie is a lie. Dh lied too once the other one said 'we planned this yesterday'. Honestly it's not too much to ask for them to tell the truth. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize this would upset you. Please let me help with dinner." But I suppose you would this I'm expecting too much because I'm a woman and have feelings, which are only supposed to be positive. Honestly I've never forgot Christmas, Easter, valentines, birthdays Thanksgiving. Yet I'm suppose to live being a servant without thanks. I get it.

It's bad they lied. But we're sensing that your passive-aggressiveness has something to do with it, that's why several posters have countered your whining.

Change yourself. Speak up. Announce that on this day you want to do such and such (and make it really basic and easy to attain, otherwise you're setting them up for failure). If you cannot understand your own role in your misery, no one can help you - you'll just be doomed to complain all your life. And if you do that, you can say goodbye to eldercare and visits. Your children won't want to help you.

Actually you're right. I'm changing my whole situation and it won't include DH. Then it wouldn't bother me if I forgot to remind the kids to be thoughtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Why did ask the younger one when she made the card? Why not allow your family to save face that they were planning for you. I think you get off on stories about being forgotten by your family. Why not clearly express what you want each year and then hold firm to it?

Right. It's all me. I'm not allowed to have emotions, especially negative ones. I am, however, allowed to be the family slave and emotional garbage can. You must be my husband.

DP but you got a card from each kid and an offer of a lunch out. You could have said "I'd rather go to X than Applebee's" and gotten your lunch out; you could have ordered whatever you wanted for dinner and not had to cook or clean up! But you really do seem to be reveling in your misery. You're complaining that a 9 year old didn't plan far enough in advance for your liking; you're the problem.

No, I'm complaining about my a$$hole husband. And it's every day. Mother's day is just one more thing amongst a million others. I'd give us 6 months max.

It’s Mother’s Day not Valentine’s Day. For most families a Happy Mother’s Day in the morning and cooking breakfast for mom is fine. A bottle of champagne for mimosas and poppy flowers stolen from walking the dog is above and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Not PP, but you're old enough to set your own expectations and announce what you want for that day. I do not expect anything from my family on Mother's Day, apart from my husband's flowers - because *he* loves flowers and therefore will always remember them, ha!!! I cook my favorite foods, and tell someone else to clean up, because it's how I want the day to go. We usually go for a nice walk. It's also how I celebrate my birthday!

I do not expect my teen and young adult to make cards - sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, if they do it's always last-minute. I don't expect them to remember on their own. We all have ADHD. At their age, I didn't remember either, and my father would give a last-minute gift to my mother (usually jewelry in her favorite colors).

Your teen lied to you because they sensed your disappointment. Stop expecting something they can't give, it's going to make everyone miserable, including yourself.

Maybe, but a lie is a lie. Dh lied too once the other one said 'we planned this yesterday'. Honestly it's not too much to ask for them to tell the truth. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize this would upset you. Please let me help with dinner." But I suppose you would this I'm expecting too much because I'm a woman and have feelings, which are only supposed to be positive. Honestly I've never forgot Christmas, Easter, valentines, birthdays Thanksgiving. Yet I'm suppose to live being a servant without thanks. I get it.

When you receive something from your children appreciating you on Mother’s Day say “thank you, I appreciate this.” What kind of emotional vampire focuses on the fact their children didn’t plan early enough? You are teaching your children to dread you and dread Mother’s Day. You are teaching your family not even to bother with gestures half way through the day because it is not good enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Not PP, but you're old enough to set your own expectations and announce what you want for that day. I do not expect anything from my family on Mother's Day, apart from my husband's flowers - because *he* loves flowers and therefore will always remember them, ha!!! I cook my favorite foods, and tell someone else to clean up, because it's how I want the day to go. We usually go for a nice walk. It's also how I celebrate my birthday!

I do not expect my teen and young adult to make cards - sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, if they do it's always last-minute. I don't expect them to remember on their own. We all have ADHD. At their age, I didn't remember either, and my father would give a last-minute gift to my mother (usually jewelry in her favorite colors).

Your teen lied to you because they sensed your disappointment. Stop expecting something they can't give, it's going to make everyone miserable, including yourself.

Maybe, but a lie is a lie. Dh lied too once the other one said 'we planned this yesterday'. Honestly it's not too much to ask for them to tell the truth. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize this would upset you. Please let me help with dinner." But I suppose you would this I'm expecting too much because I'm a woman and have feelings, which are only supposed to be positive. Honestly I've never forgot Christmas, Easter, valentines, birthdays Thanksgiving. Yet I'm suppose to live being a servant without thanks. I get it.

Your children lie to you because you are going to make things unpleasant. You don’t seem to care about the effect this is having on your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP’s family is lame. I have two juniors in high school. They each took an AP exam last week and one of them has 3 more this week, including a particularly difficult one today. Each of my kids made me a card. One has ADHD and probably only spent 1-2 minutes on it. She likes to write and really has a way with words, so I had asked to write something about me as a mother. Instead she made a card that said, “I love you more than words can say.” Lol, that’s just her. My other dd (the one with 3 APs this week and her prom on Friday) really likes to make cards and she’s known for making some pretty elaborate ones. She didn’t disappoint. My kids took turns feeding and walking the dog. I got to take a nap.

My children’s father and I are in the middle of getting divorced. I had told dd in advance what I wanted to eat on Mother’s Day. She coordinated with her dad and he ordered the food and delivered it to us and stayed for a family dinner. Even though we’re divorcing, he had texted me to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day earlier in the day. He also sent flowers, “from the kids.” I will make a nice Father’s Day for him too, because our kids deserve happy family memories and stress free holidays.

If my family can pull off a nice Mother’s Day, OP’s family can too.

You sound so cringe and lame and even managed to gratuitously brag about your family in a thread where the OP is upset about how she was treated.

Not surprised you’re getting a divorce to be honest, you’re such an insufferable hag. So tacky to ask your daughter to write something deep about you as a mother, and to tell them in advance what to eat. Go to a restaurant and everyone orders a meal to their liking.

If you have any compassion to your ex let him celebrate Father’s Day alone with his kids.

Jealously and bitterness is corrosive to your soul.

[Anonymous]

I set expectations, otherwise I'll be disappointed.

I told my husband and two sons (both early 20s) exactly what I wanted:
- take out from my favorite sushi location
- them to fully clean the kitchen/dining/living rooms. They are both home from college, have no money, but have their college dorm stuff everywhere. The house has been chaos for weeks.

The rest of the day I worked outside in my garden and the three of them did what needed to be done. Then we had dinner and watched the new episode of the The Last of Us.

Simple, but nice day. No cards or flowers required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Why did ask the younger one when she made the card? Why not allow your family to save face that they were planning for you. I think you get off on stories about being forgotten by your family. Why not clearly express what you want each year and then hold firm to it?

Right. It's all me. I'm not allowed to have emotions, especially negative ones. I am, however, allowed to be the family slave and emotional garbage can. You must be my husband.

DP but you got a card from each kid and an offer of a lunch out. You could have said "I'd rather go to X than Applebee's" and gotten your lunch out; you could have ordered whatever you wanted for dinner and not had to cook or clean up! But you really do seem to be reveling in your misery. You're complaining that a 9 year old didn't plan far enough in advance for your liking; you're the problem.

No, I'm complaining about my a$$hole husband. And it's every day. Mother's day is just one more thing amongst a million others. I'd give us 6 months max.

It’s Mother’s Day not Valentine’s Day. For most families a Happy Mother’s Day in the morning and cooking breakfast for mom is fine. A bottle of champagne for mimosas and poppy flowers stolen from walking the dog is above and beyond.

You're right! I gave something to my husband and kids on valentines day too and got nothing then either.

[Anonymous]

Nope
Not normal. Your husband should have also assisted in this effort.

This will prob be the norm moving forward honestly.

Zero excuse for your child to skip Mother’s Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Why did ask the younger one when she made the card? Why not allow your family to save face that they were planning for you. I think you get off on stories about being forgotten by your family. Why not clearly express what you want each year and then hold firm to it?

Right. It's all me. I'm not allowed to have emotions, especially negative ones. I am, however, allowed to be the family slave and emotional garbage can. You must be my husband.

DP but you got a card from each kid and an offer of a lunch out. You could have said "I'd rather go to X than Applebee's" and gotten your lunch out; you could have ordered whatever you wanted for dinner and not had to cook or clean up! But you really do seem to be reveling in your misery. You're complaining that a 9 year old didn't plan far enough in advance for your liking; you're the problem.

No, I'm complaining about my a$$hole husband. And it's every day. Mother's day is just one more thing amongst a million others. I'd give us 6 months max.

It’s Mother’s Day not Valentine’s Day. For most families a Happy Mother’s Day in the morning and cooking breakfast for mom is fine. A bottle of champagne for mimosas and poppy flowers stolen from walking the dog is above and beyond.

You're right! I gave something to my husband and kids on valentines day too and got nothing then either.

You absolutely get off on playing the martyr.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Why did ask the younger one when she made the card? Why not allow your family to save face that they were planning for you. I think you get off on stories about being forgotten by your family. Why not clearly express what you want each year and then hold firm to it?

Right. It's all me. I'm not allowed to have emotions, especially negative ones. I am, however, allowed to be the family slave and emotional garbage can. You must be my husband.

DP but you got a card from each kid and an offer of a lunch out. You could have said "I'd rather go to X than Applebee's" and gotten your lunch out; you could have ordered whatever you wanted for dinner and not had to cook or clean up! But you really do seem to be reveling in your misery. You're complaining that a 9 year old didn't plan far enough in advance for your liking; you're the problem.

No, I'm complaining about my a$$hole husband. And it's every day. Mother's day is just one more thing amongst a million others. I'd give us 6 months max.

It’s Mother’s Day not Valentine’s Day. For most families a Happy Mother’s Day in the morning and cooking breakfast for mom is fine. A bottle of champagne for mimosas and poppy flowers stolen from walking the dog is above and beyond.

You're right! I gave something to my husband and kids on valentines day too and got nothing then either.

DP--don't care about valentines day, and I care about Mother's day.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Not PP, but you're old enough to set your own expectations and announce what you want for that day. I do not expect anything from my family on Mother's Day, apart from my husband's flowers - because *he* loves flowers and therefore will always remember them, ha!!! I cook my favorite foods, and tell someone else to clean up, because it's how I want the day to go. We usually go for a nice walk. It's also how I celebrate my birthday!

I do not expect my teen and young adult to make cards - sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, if they do it's always last-minute. I don't expect them to remember on their own. We all have ADHD. At their age, I didn't remember either, and my father would give a last-minute gift to my mother (usually jewelry in her favorite colors).

Your teen lied to you because they sensed your disappointment. Stop expecting something they can't give, it's going to make everyone miserable, including yourself.

Maybe, but a lie is a lie. Dh lied too once the other one said 'we planned this yesterday'. Honestly it's not too much to ask for them to tell the truth. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize this would upset you. Please let me help with dinner." But I suppose you would this I'm expecting too much because I'm a woman and have feelings, which are only supposed to be positive. Honestly I've never forgot Christmas, Easter, valentines, birthdays Thanksgiving. Yet I'm suppose to live being a servant without thanks. I get it.

When you receive something from your children appreciating you on Mother’s Day say “thank you, I appreciate this.” What kind of emotional vampire focuses on the fact their children didn’t plan early enough? You are teaching your children to dread you and dread Mother’s Day. You are teaching your family not even to bother with gestures half way through the day because it is not good enough.

Where does it say I didn't say thank you? I think you are injecting your reactions here. I did say thank you. And quite frankly if DH treated me with an iota of respect I might not even care about mother's day. And as I said I'm working on that. I'd rather be alone than sad about this crap. Plus I do everything for the family anyway - he doesn't work, cook, clean, care for the kids. I suppose he drives them places sometimes. I still have to do the school runs around my work schedule while he does whatever he does all day.