Teen didn't do anything for Mother's Day

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05/12/2025 16:22

Subject: Teen didn't do anything for Mother's Day

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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:Dh did nothing. Then when I asked if we had plans he said 'oh I was going to take you out for lunch', at a fast food restaurant. My 9 year old ran up stairs and scribbled a picture of flowers in 5 min. My 15 year old wasn't even out of bed yet. She then came down after hearing the conversation telling me that her and DH had discussed this all in advance. Then she put my card on my bathroom vanity telling me she had made it days ago. She didn't hand it to me, she just told me it was upstairs. I'm so sad.

Your elementary school kid drew you a picture, your high schooler bought a card and discussed taking you out to eat in advance with your husband, and you're . . . so sad? Having a Mother's Day card left for you to find when you wake up instead of pressed into your hand is enough to ruin the day? You seem like you're looking for a problem.

You misread the entire post. Good job.
1. I asked of anything was planned. Dh said 'no'
2. Dh says let's go out to eat at a crappy restaurant that you don't like.
3. I say no thanks.
4. Younger child goes up stairs and scribbles a card. (It was a nice gesture) and brings it to me 5 min later.
5. Older daughter comes downstairs after hearing everything and lies to me that she and her father planned everything in advance and that her younger sister made the card with her the day before.
6. I question reality and ask the younger one when she made the card. 'Just now' she says.

You're right I have nothing to be upset about. My family did nothing and lied to my face. Oh, and I got to make dinner for everyone and do all the clean up. They literally did nothing - except the younger one.

Not PP, but you're old enough to set your own expectations and announce what you want for that day. I do not expect anything from my family on Mother's Day, apart from my husband's flowers - because *he* loves flowers and therefore will always remember them, ha!!! I cook my favorite foods, and tell someone else to clean up, because it's how I want the day to go. We usually go for a nice walk. It's also how I celebrate my birthday!

I do not expect my teen and young adult to make cards - sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, if they do it's always last-minute. I don't expect them to remember on their own. We all have ADHD. At their age, I didn't remember either, and my father would give a last-minute gift to my mother (usually jewelry in her favorite colors).

Your teen lied to you because they sensed your disappointment. Stop expecting something they can't give, it's going to make everyone miserable, including yourself.

Maybe, but a lie is a lie. Dh lied too once the other one said 'we planned this yesterday'. Honestly it's not too much to ask for them to tell the truth. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize this would upset you. Please let me help with dinner." But I suppose you would this I'm expecting too much because I'm a woman and have feelings, which are only supposed to be positive. Honestly I've never forgot Christmas, Easter, valentines, birthdays Thanksgiving. Yet I'm suppose to live being a servant without thanks. I get it.

When you receive something from your children appreciating you on Mother’s Day say “thank you, I appreciate this.” What kind of emotional vampire focuses on the fact their children didn’t plan early enough? You are teaching your children to dread you and dread Mother’s Day. You are teaching your family not even to bother with gestures half way through the day because it is not good enough.

Where does it say I didn't say thank you? I think you are injecting your reactions here. I did say thank you. And quite frankly if DH treated me with an iota of respect I might not even care about mother's day. And as I said I'm working on that. I'd rather be alone than sad about this crap. Plus I do everything for the family anyway - he doesn't work, cook, clean, care for the kids. I suppose he drives them places sometimes. I still have to do the school runs around my work schedule while he does whatever he does all day.

Why are you quizzing your children on they made cards or planned events? How do you not understand that this is the opposite of saying thank you. You are saying it’s not good enough if they didn’t plan earlier.

Your children are teenagers. They don’t need your husband’s guidance here.