Anyone opt out of cooking and cleaning?

[Anonymous]

What will you do with that time that you used to spend on cooking and cleaning?

I find cooking to be a nice mental break from the rest of life. No one bothers me in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve realized over the last few months that I absolutely hate cooking and cleaning. I’ve been doing less of them, and the less I do, the happier I feel.

I didn’t mind them when I was single because it was just me and it took maybe 15 minutes a day. But I hate cleaning an entire house and trying to feed 4 people.

I’m heavily leaning towards just hiring a housekeeper and meal delivery services for myself. The kids are picky and I’m happy to spend 5 minutes making a sandwich and sliced veggies. H would have to fend for himself for dinner. I make more money than H and can afford meal delivery for myself but not for both of us (but if he wants to pay for his that’s fine).

Anyone done anything like this? H made dinner tonight, which means I’m on dish duty, but I’m looking at this massive pile of dishes, pots, pans, the blender is out, sauces and spills on the counter and floors, and just thinking….im tired of wasting hours of my life feeding and cleaning up after people.

You should not be a parent.
You should not be a wife.
You should live alone in a reclusive environment. You’ll be happier.

DP. You cannot put them back, ya know? And why is being a wife thought of as someone who cleans and cooks forever and for everybody. I recently saw a meme about a wife in the kitchen with a text "I never thought that once I marry it means I'll have to cook until you die". I mean seriously. Nobody thinks of a husband like that. I'm with the OP. I also don't like to cook nor to clean. But I can cook and I am clean, I just use very few things (as someone said, their DH uses 4 pots-pans every time), which means I mostly have to cook for others and clean after others. It also irks me that DH eats about 4x as much as I do, which means if I'd just cook for myself, I could eat for a week from what I cook once, not one day. I think a lot of wives stop cooking daily once the nest is empty.

OP. You get me. That’s exactly it - I have to now cook 4x as much as I used to. I pay for twice as much house as I need (and then I have to make sure it’s clean).

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand OP. I cook 4x the quantity as I would for myself, but I don’t cook extra items. And it’s not much trouble to cook extra quantity anyway. You should stop catering to picky eating.

[Anonymous]

And it’s not normal to eat the same 3 meals over and over. So YOU are the abnormal one and need to understand how to interact with normal people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s get real for a second.

Your life sounds wildly out of balance and this is just a symptom of a deeper malaise. If basic tasks like cleaning and making supper for your family is overwhelming you, you need to really take a look at what your life and reevaluate some of your choices. This isn’t about a housekeeper and a meal prep kit.

Supper? Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I get it. I've been a parent for 22 years and meal planning/cooking/cleaning sucks for sure. BUT....it seems you have little kids. They won't (and shouldn't!!!) eat sandwiches for dinner for the rest of their lives. They deserve an opportunity to have a well rounded diet and try all kinds of foods. They also deserve a family that works together, sits down, eats the same meal, and shows love for one another. Love is not shown by ordering yourself a meal service and telling everyone else to figure it the f out on their own. The kids should be helping you cook, shop, and plan. You shoul dbe talking to your husband about how to manage this together. This is how you raise adults.

You sound beyond selfish and immature. You're not setting a good example of what it is to be a family.
Outsource cleaning, absolutely split duties with your husband and kids. Put on music, pour a glass of wine or cup of tea, and enjoy these years because you will miss them (or maybe not, from the sounds of your personality).

Oh yeah, YOUR personality is so great, little miss priss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would seriously buy meal delivery for yourself but not your H and make him pay for it himself? Do you even like him? How do families like this manage?

+1

+2. That's not a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, tons of lazy and pathetic people on this post…

We don’t like to cook or clean but love to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve realized over the last few months that I absolutely hate cooking and cleaning. I’ve been doing less of them, and the less I do, the happier I feel.

I didn’t mind them when I was single because it was just me and it took maybe 15 minutes a day. But I hate cleaning an entire house and trying to feed 4 people.

I’m heavily leaning towards just hiring a housekeeper and meal delivery services for myself. The kids are picky and I’m happy to spend 5 minutes making a sandwich and sliced veggies. H would have to fend for himself for dinner. I make more money than H and can afford meal delivery for myself but not for both of us (but if he wants to pay for his that’s fine).

Anyone done anything like this? H made dinner tonight, which means I’m on dish duty, but I’m looking at this massive pile of dishes, pots, pans, the blender is out, sauces and spills on the counter and floors, and just thinking….im tired of wasting hours of my life feeding and cleaning up after people.

You should not be a parent.
You should not be a wife.
You should live alone in a reclusive environment. You’ll be happier.

OP. True, I don’t like being a wife. I do enjoy my kids, though.

I think the ideal is if it was just my kids and me. I’d downsize and simplify. But with H we need a bigger house, more food, etc. and unfortunately since H isn’t career focused, it lands on me.

Which is fine. I actually really love working. But I hate working AND having to care for another adult.

It’s a relief, you enjoy your kids.

[Anonymous]

Either you (jointly as a couple) can afford meal delivery or you can’t.

What is this “I can afford it for me but not him” nonsense?

[Anonymous]

Right now I cook and clean because I am a longtime SAHM and I fully agree that is part of the “deal.” However, once my husband retires, we will be sharing household duties equally. I will cook and clean as much as he does, which I am suspecting will not be much.

[Anonymous]

Have always had a housecleaner, since I began working full time. Outsourced the cooking to DH. Win win.

[Anonymous]

Getting meal delivery just for yourself and forcing the kids to just eat sandwiches every night sounds like an overreaction.

Why not get meal delivery or meal kits for the whole family as often as it fits your budget and work with your husband to put together a list of super simple meals to rotate the other nights? I can relate to feeling burnt out on cooking super elaborate meals, but there is a lot of middle ground between that and the solution you are suggesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now I cook and clean because I am a longtime SAHM and I fully agree that is part of the “deal.” However, once my husband retires, we will be sharing household duties equally. I will cook and clean as much as he does, which I am suspecting will not be much.

Same. Although I think he will want to outsource as much as possible so we may have to downsize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the odd occasion when I wonder whether I would have been happier married with kids, I think about the thousands - tens of thousands? - of hours that I didn’t spend housekeeping cooking shopping laundering etc. for kids AND a grown ass man engaging in weaponized incompetence.

I wouldn’t have minded caring for kids, and I would have been teaching them the life skills early so they could pitch in and not be like their entitled daddy. I would have seethed with rage over every moment I spent doing an unfair division of household labor so my husband could buy his leisure at my expense and I would have found him physically répugnant and emotionally and intellectually uninteresting because how does one love one’s oppressor?

I don’t get how men don’t figure this out. I guess they do and just don’t care. It’s all so disgusting.

I’m a tidy person by nature and don’t mind cleaning up after myself and the dog who is always happy to give me love and affection. I cook elaborate meals when I want and have popcorn for dinner when I don’t - it’s actually a very healthy meal if you don’t drown it in butter.

I’m angry that the vast majority of women have to suck up the servitude if they want kids and a dual income household. Women need to start raising better sons.

Dads have no role here?

Apparently not in the 80% of intact families where the kids are watching Mom bust her ass day in and out to do the large majority of housework, cooking, shopping, life planning, kid wrangling, etc. while Dad sits on sofa on his phone or golfs with his pals or sits in the recliner in front of the NFL etc.

Dads who are doing Fair Play are already raising better sons by modeling grown ass full involvement in parenting and homestead keeping and marriage strengthening.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX95jSQqV-Y