Great husband but marriage is so boring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same. To make it worse, H ran up some debt without me knowing and now every spare penny he has after bills goes towards that. So there’s zero money from him for date nights, and it’s just hard to get excited about a date night where I have to plan and pay for everything.

A couple things that helped me:

1. I went on a solo trip for a week. That got me enough excitement I was happy to see my H again.

2. I do have a couple guys I “date”. They know I’m married, but I have great chemistry with them, we’ll go out to a happy hour or for coffee and flirt for an hour. Nothing physical, it’s just nice to be around someone who is interesting and interested in me.

I'm just curious and I'm divorced. I've never cheated on my spouse. Not my jam but where do you find men to "date" if you're married? And you know one day they will want more. Seems like a slippery slope.

ashley madison

Great. When one of their wives finds out, your world will be blown up. Then life won’t be so boring….because your husband will never believe your numerous AM dates were platonic. And, frankly, the dating you are doing is infidelity. Meeting men on an affair website to date? Come on, you are just waiting for one to bone when u “click”. Christ

Go to therapy, lean into your marriage and work on it instead of leaning out into some strange D.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash: all long marriages hit stake patches, even the ones that started hot and heavy. That’s life. You weather it. Time and kids growing changes things. It’s a stamp in time. My marriage hit so much better again when kids hit late HS/entered college.

But, you seem to be looking for Mr Goodbar and were never taught what a true and real good marriage is like.

[Anonymous]

^stale

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same. To make it worse, H ran up some debt without me knowing and now every spare penny he has after bills goes towards that. So there’s zero money from him for date nights, and it’s just hard to get excited about a date night where I have to plan and pay for everything.

A couple things that helped me:

1. I went on a solo trip for a week. That got me enough excitement I was happy to see my H again.

2. I do have a couple guys I “date”. They know I’m married, but I have great chemistry with them, we’ll go out to a happy hour or for coffee and flirt for an hour. Nothing physical, it’s just nice to be around someone who is interesting and interested in me.

I'm just curious and I'm divorced. I've never cheated on my spouse. Not my jam but where do you find men to "date" if you're married? And you know one day they will want more. Seems like a slippery slope.

ashley madison

Great. When one of their wives finds out, your world will be blown up. Then life won’t be so boring….because your husband will never believe your numerous AM dates were platonic. And, frankly, the dating you are doing is infidelity. Meeting men on an affair website to date? Come on, you are just waiting for one to bone when u “click”. Christ

Go to therapy, lean into your marriage and work on it instead of leaning out into some strange D.

PP who goes on “dates”. I didn’t say AM, someone else did.

These are single guys I know through work. We meet up for coffee or a drink and some light flirting. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normal marriage. The wild sex phase lasts 2 years max. Even if you divorce and start dating again.

18 years in and the wild sex is still very prevalent. Including this morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this touched a few nerves! I’m neither blaming my husband nor would I consider an affair 🤮 or a divorce. Our marriage is good, I’m just looking for ideas to make it better for both of us.

I could look for a hobby but as a couple of PPs said, it wouldn’t exactly help our marriage if we spent less quality time together. Yes, I have tried initiating fun things but it’s not an amazing feeling when you’re having to initiate all the time either.

It sounds like at least a few PPs are in a similar boat so it’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

I dunno that I agree that doing something on your own can’t translate to
marital closeness/benefits. At a minimum, you would be bringing home new energy and conversation.

+1 but also you could try something together, like a dance class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes we are in the sandwich if kids and aging parents and both working but I feel like I’m losing myself, not having any fun, and our marriage is suffering as a result.

We don’t really have any issues per se, we get along, etc. we have just stopped enjoying life. Even when we go for dinner or have a date night, or take a trip, I am just bored. DH is also a very calm personality and nothing seems to excite or phase him, and when I get excited about something, he often just nods or shrugs. Bedroom is the same, I want to try new stuff and he just defaults to the same thing every single time.

I just want a little more excitement in our lives, a little more enthusiasm in our interactions, etc.

And before the usual suspects ask, no, I didn’t “get fat” — I am very fit while DH has gained 20 lbs since we met, but he looks fine.

Does anyone understand what I’m talking about?

The problem is you. You don’t need him to have fun. Find someone else to have fun with.

[Anonymous]

He's horrified when you use "phase" in written communication when you should be using "faze".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's horrified when you use "phase" in written communication when you should be using "faze".

Ha! OP here, I laughed because this is something I might write (or at least think) in response to someone else’s post. I didn’t even notice—not sure if it was a brain glitch or autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's horrified when you use "phase" in written communication when you should be using "faze".

Ha! OP here, I laughed because this is something I might write (or at least think) in response to someone else’s post. I didn’t even notice—not sure if it was a brain glitch or autocorrect.

However, may I suggest placing your period inside quotation marks, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Normal marriage. The wild sex phase lasts 2 years max. Even if you divorce and start dating again.

18 years in and the wild sex is still very prevalent. Including this morning.

This .We all prioritize what we feel is important

[Anonymous]

This is just life. Stop creating problems when there are none. This is not an actual problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Normal marriage. The wild sex phase lasts 2 years max. Even if you divorce and start dating again.

18 years in and the wild sex is still very prevalent. Including this morning.

This .We all prioritize what we feel is important

Good for you but how is this helpful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes we are in the sandwich if kids and aging parents and both working but I feel like I’m losing myself, not having any fun, and our marriage is suffering as a result.

We don’t really have any issues per se, we get along, etc. we have just stopped enjoying life. Even when we go for dinner or have a date night, or take a trip, I am just bored. DH is also a very calm personality and nothing seems to excite or phase him, and when I get excited about something, he often just nods or shrugs. Bedroom is the same, I want to try new stuff and he just defaults to the same thing every single time.

I just want a little more excitement in our lives, a little more enthusiasm in our interactions, etc.

And before the usual suspects ask, no, I didn’t “get fat” — I am very fit while DH has gained 20 lbs since we met, but he looks fine.

Does anyone understand what I’m talking about?

Faze. The spelling of the word in this context is faze, not phase.

Although you are going through a phase. And if you do something stupid like cheat on him, I bet he will be fazed. Or nonplussed. He would absolutely be nonplussed.

See the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same. To make it worse, H ran up some debt without me knowing and now every spare penny he has after bills goes towards that. So there’s zero money from him for date nights, and it’s just hard to get excited about a date night where I have to plan and pay for everything.

A couple things that helped me:

1. I went on a solo trip for a week. That got me enough excitement I was happy to see my H again.

2. I do have a couple guys I “date”. They know I’m married, but I have great chemistry with them, we’ll go out to a happy hour or for coffee and flirt for an hour. Nothing physical, it’s just nice to be around someone who is interesting and interested in me.

I'm just curious and I'm divorced. I've never cheated on my spouse. Not my jam but where do you find men to "date" if you're married? And you know one day they will want more. Seems like a slippery slope.

She wants more too. One of these days her tongue will be in one of their mouths and soon after one of their dicks might be too.