Great husband but marriage is so boring

[Anonymous]

Yes we are in the sandwich if kids and aging parents and both working but I feel like I’m losing myself, not having any fun, and our marriage is suffering as a result.

We don’t really have any issues per se, we get along, etc. we have just stopped enjoying life. Even when we go for dinner or have a date night, or take a trip, I am just bored. DH is also a very calm personality and nothing seems to excite or phase him, and when I get excited about something, he often just nods or shrugs. Bedroom is the same, I want to try new stuff and he just defaults to the same thing every single time.

I just want a little more excitement in our lives, a little more enthusiasm in our interactions, etc.

And before the usual suspects ask, no, I didn’t “get fat” — I am very fit while DH has gained 20 lbs since we met, but he looks fine.

Does anyone understand what I’m talking about?

[Anonymous]

I think it is normal for all marriages to fall into a rut during certain stages.

And it seems as if you are trying to add excitement to your marriage dynamic to avoid feeling bored while your hubby appears to be simply content w/the status quo.

It looks like you may just have to add in more effort into switching things up a bit.
Perhaps plan a weekend away - just the two of you.
If that is simply not feasible then plan some fun activities you both can participate in as a couple on occasion.

Things that will have you both looking forward to.
Your husband may just need a stronger push out of his comfort zone.

Hope this helps - good luck to you both.

[Anonymous]

Your issue is actually you, but you want your husband to be the solution. You need to be the solution, but in a positive way like new hobbies or volunteering instead of negative ways like an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your issue is actually you, but you want your husband to be the solution. You need to be the solution, but in a positive way like new hobbies or volunteering instead of negative ways like an affair.

I agree with this. You, not your husband, are responsible for your own happiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your issue is actually you, but you want your husband to be the solution. You need to be the solution, but in a positive way like new hobbies or volunteering instead of negative ways like an affair.

I agree with this. You, not your husband, are responsible for your own happiness

Agreed

[Anonymous]

Normal marriage. The wild sex phase lasts 2 years max. Even if you divorce and start dating again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your issue is actually you, but you want your husband to be the solution. You need to be the solution, but in a positive way like new hobbies or volunteering instead of negative ways like an affair.

Another agree.
This is a you issue. Not your husband.

[Anonymous]

I hear you. DH is a great partner in life and we get along well but our relationship right now is meh. We’re in the both-working-too-hard-driving-kids-around-all-day phase. I assume this will pass but it doesn’t feel great. He’s pretty content with how things are and doesn’t really get that I’m lonely/bored/need a bit more. I’ve been filling in by doing more on my own or with friends but that’s not a 100% solution when what I really want is a bit of enthusiasm from my husband to do fun stuff together/have real conversations/have good sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. DH is a great partner in life and we get along well but our relationship right now is meh. We’re in the both-working-too-hard-driving-kids-around-all-day phase. I assume this will pass but it doesn’t feel great. He’s pretty content with how things are and doesn’t really get that I’m lonely/bored/need a bit more. I’ve been filling in by doing more on my own or with friends but that’s not a 100% solution when what I really want is a bit of enthusiasm from my husband to do fun stuff together/have real conversations/have good sex.

Any yeah OP, the just nodding and shrugging when I’m trying to engage him on something is infuriating/super deflating! It’s made me start spending less time with him in the evenings, and more time just doing my own thing in the evenings. While that helps with feeling frustrated daily, my withdrawing from him isn’t exactly helping our relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. DH is a great partner in life and we get along well but our relationship right now is meh. We’re in the both-working-too-hard-driving-kids-around-all-day phase. I assume this will pass but it doesn’t feel great. He’s pretty content with how things are and doesn’t really get that I’m lonely/bored/need a bit more. I’ve been filling in by doing more on my own or with friends but that’s not a 100% solution when what I really want is a bit of enthusiasm from my husband to do fun stuff together/have real conversations/have good sex.

Divorce, get a boyfriend, and complain about the same things after 2 years with the new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

My wife and I installed a dating app for fun once just to see what it’s like. Made me happy to be married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your issue is actually you, but you want your husband to be the solution. You need to be the solution, but in a positive way like new hobbies or volunteering instead of negative ways like an affair.

I agree with this. You, not your husband, are responsible for your own happiness

Agreed

Np, so what’s the solution?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes we are in the sandwich if kids and aging parents and both working but I feel like I’m losing myself, not having any fun, and our marriage is suffering as a result.

We don’t really have any issues per se, we get along, etc. we have just stopped enjoying life. Even when we go for dinner or have a date night, or take a trip, I am just bored. DH is also a very calm personality and nothing seems to excite or phase him, and when I get excited about something, he often just nods or shrugs. Bedroom is the same, I want to try new stuff and he just defaults to the same thing every single time.

I just want a little more excitement in our lives, a little more enthusiasm in our interactions, etc.

And before the usual suspects ask, no, I didn’t “get fat” — I am very fit while DH has gained 20 lbs since we met, but he looks fine.

Does anyone understand what I’m talking about?

I love married women like you. You are the perfect target for men like me who love to hit on milfs. Your husband is a boring guy. Life is too short. Have an affair. There are men out there who would love to have fun with you. Dump that idiot. He doesn’t know how lucky he is to have you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your issue is actually you, but you want your husband to be the solution. You need to be the solution, but in a positive way like new hobbies or volunteering instead of negative ways like an affair.

Another agree.
This is a you issue. Not your husband.

Ditto. Find things to do for you. I'd also add spend more time with your friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. DH is a great partner in life and we get along well but our relationship right now is meh. We’re in the both-working-too-hard-driving-kids-around-all-day phase. I assume this will pass but it doesn’t feel great. He’s pretty content with how things are and doesn’t really get that I’m lonely/bored/need a bit more. I’ve been filling in by doing more on my own or with friends but that’s not a 100% solution when what I really want is a bit of enthusiasm from my husband to do fun stuff together/have real conversations/have good sex.

He is not a great partner if he doesn’t get that you are bored. He is not a great partner if he does nothing about it. He has definitely lost interest in you.
Was he more fun to be around when you met him?
It may be time to divorce and cut your losses.