DD planning to have first child

[Anonymous]

I had my first kid in 2008 when I was just 24 year old. I had a few miscarriage's afrer that but had a surprise in 2022. So I had 2 kids one will be leaving soon, but stating over with my baby boy. I also have 4 step kids (bonus) they are all adults and have a few of them have kid

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why the potential grandmother is brought into a pregnancy discussion. Not your concern.

[Anonymous]

This is so weird. I would never discuss this with my mom, and would die if I knew she was discussing my fertility plans with strangers on. Message board.

[Anonymous]

You are actually crowdsourcing when your child should have her child???

That is none of your business, let alone ours.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s early. But your daughter can make her own decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are actually crowdsourcing when your child should have her child???

That is none of your business, let alone ours.

I doubt OP wants an answer or doing a poll, often these posts are just for sharing thoughts.

[Anonymous]

If you think this will not impact her career, then 28 is great!

I had mine in DC at 29, 31 and 34. I was very young in my first kids’ private school circle. Other moms called me a “ baby” and many thought I was the nanny. With my third this never happened and I was closer to the average parents’ age (still younger than most, but not noticeably so).

For me having kids youngish was good for all the reasons you mentioned. I got pregnant first try with all 3, easy pregnancies, was back to my pre pregnancy body in 1-3 months.

But… I was the first in my friends’ group (by 4 years) and that was hard… I still hold some grudges for the way I was treated back then. Also, my career never took off. I work and happy with what I do and my work-life balance, but I have a PhD and will probably never make a lot of money.

Overall, I am so happy with my kids and where we are in life, but I wish I had waited until I had a stable position and a good career.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, what is the issue? And why are you involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if DD is
- educated,
- has a stable and sane career,
- has a good stable partner in a committed marriage who is on the same page as her
- financially able
- have a support system
- and will not have FOMO of single life and want to be parents --- then they should have the kid.

Anyone after 25, I do not consider too young if they meet the above criteria.

+1. I think OP's DD seems very sensible. I would be delighted if my DD had plans to have kids earlier rather than later. I had my kids at 32, 34, and 40. I have been a working mom for all but 1 year. I work as a lawyer. I think lawyer moms wait too long to have kids. I think it's ideal to at least start having kids in your 20's, rather than waiting until 30 or later to start.

[Anonymous]

Be happy your kid wants children.

My (one) child does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why the potential grandmother is brought into a pregnancy discussion. Not your concern.

Nothing good can come from you saying anything other than “whatever you decide, I’m happy for you and here to help!”

[Anonymous]

50 year old mom here with kids 17 and 14. Now that they are teenagers, it is awesome. But, I wished I had them earlier when they were younger. I was exhausted more compared to younger parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Peak fertility is in a womans 20s and is also linked to lower risk of genetic disorders. Older fathers is linked to autism. It’s also said that having a baby in your 20s is “easier” on your body / easier to “bounce back from”. These are all the points my daughter who is 26 and wants to have a child by 28 makes. We are financially very secure and she is engaged /
will be married by then to a great partner for her. My question is- do you think socially / in this area that having your first kid by 28 is too young to have your first these days? I feel like I just got through parenthood myself!

Congratulations on your parenting. You raised a brilliant young woman. Count your blessings.

[Anonymous]

Too young by today's standards, but of age biologically.