Neighbor called police when child had loud meltdown

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The system worked as it should have, OP.
You may have been brainwashed with horror stories about police, but most of them are nice. The neighbor did their duty. You are doing your job as a parent.

Please try not to feel so sensitive about this. I’m a foreigner on a visa and American police seem scary to me too, but as you can see, it turned out all right.

You should look to leave soon. Things are not right now. It’s better to leave on your own terms if you can. At least contingency plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try to see the positive in this.
Take it as extra adult support for your situation.
Remind your son that when his behavior gets too bad, the police will come, which means it’s serious.
Any additional adult support is good. All kids need to know what is inappropriate behavior.
Also, your neighbor might be worried for you and if your son is capable of such noise, you may be at risk for his violence

Calling the police on someone is not “extra adult support”. I’m not seeing that the neighbor offered any other meaningful help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to see the positive in this.
Take it as extra adult support for your situation.
Remind your son that when his behavior gets too bad, the police will come, which means it’s serious.
Any additional adult support is good. All kids need to know what is inappropriate behavior.
Also, your neighbor might be worried for you and if your son is capable of such noise, you may be at risk for his violence

Calling the police on someone is not “extra adult support”. I’m not seeing that the neighbor offered any other meaningful help

This. It is busy body nosiness and the old saying "snitches get stiches" certainly applies when neighbors invite the police into a domestic situation on a whim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I appreciate that someone cared enough to verify that my child was not in danger, I was really horrified this morning when the police showed up at my house. My elementary age child, who has autism and ADHD, had a very loud meltdown about something insignificant. Child is on medication, in therapy, and we work with their medical team to develop treatment and coping strategies. We are actively working on emotional regulation. It is NOT easy.

I feel so upset, embarrassed, sad, scared. To me, it means my neighbor suspected abuse and asked the police to do a welfare check. They came in, we talked, they talked to my child, and all was well. I fear that now I have a record started. What if they keep being called for welfare checks? What if my ex uses this against me?

I feel the need to have a security camera at least inside the main living area, to protect myself against any accusations.

It could really have only been one neighbor. I wrote them a note explaining my child’s neurodivergence, apologized for any disturbance, and asked that they contact me with concerns. I haven’t been able to stop crying today over this, and I didn’t go to work. I’ve never had interaction with police beyond a speeding ticket.

If h is s screams are so loud they break the sound barrier then soundproof your house. Your neighbor was probably reporting the noise.

[Anonymous]

Although you got some very supportive responses, you should also post this in the Special Needs Section. They’ve been there, done that.

I totally understand. I have an 18 yo DS with behavioral issues. We’ve lived on our street for almost 20 years and know our neighbors well. Years ago, Laura Reyes, is the head of the Autism, Alzheimer’s and Dementia Unit recommended we get to know our neighbors and tell them about our son. They look out for him now. It’s not just our street anymore either, many in our neighborhood know him (he also tends to elope so people see him out and about).

Sorry this happened to you. I know it’s hard and although there are some that just don’t understand, I have been suprised how supportive people are once they truly know our situation.

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing in writing the note, OP. I am so sorry this was a painful experience. Once you explained the situation to them, I am willing to bet they will be more understanding. I don't think you need to feel embarrassed or scared but I can imagine it's hard to shake those feelings after what you've been through. Also, I think your neighbor did the right thing in calling police to check on your child. Bad things happen to children behind closed doors, and even "nice" and responsible seeming parents with can be abusers in secret. Also, what if someone had broken into your home and attacked you and your child? It would be wrong for a neighbor turn a deaf ear to loud screaming. I'm hoping you have some peace of mind after writing the neighbor the note, and I hope you find some peace of mind soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you get busybody neighbors like that who stick their nose into everyone's business.

Be firm and let them know they crossed a line and had better never ever do it again. Usually that will do the trick.

If it doesn't, get a restraining order.

WTF?!?
You’re nuts. No - just tell the neighbor the issues your kid has and that because of that meltdowns happen sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you get busybody neighbors like that who stick their nose into everyone's business.

Be firm and let them know they crossed a line and had better never ever do it again. Usually that will do the trick.

If it doesn't, get a restraining order.

WTF?!?
You’re nuts. No - just tell the neighbor the issues your kid has and that because of that meltdowns happen sometimes.

You could do that, but still be firm with them about boundaries and minding their own business, otherwise someone like that will try to interject themselves into other's lives and control them.