I can see my parents getting divorced because Dad won't retire

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people who have intellectual jobs don’t retire because they love it, have worked their entire adult lives and can’t imagine not working. My law firm has at least a dozen lawyers in their 70’s.

Stay out of it.

OP-part of it is because my father was a late bloomer. His career really didn't take off until his mid 50s. We're close and I know he is trying to make up for lost time.

Has your dad expressed any intention to separate?

Reading between the lines, it sounds like OP respects her dad and doesn't respect her mom. So she's judging her mom, and thinking her dad will want to leave.

Dad has the money. If he leaves for another woman there goes the inheritance.

Technically, no, Dad has half the money, and Mom has the other half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back: they do travel. Last year they were in Florida, France, and Germany. My mom thinks retirement means you are always on the go.

Then why is she such a couch potato each day? That sounds awful. My guess is you Dad is seeing her doing a bunch of nothing and it worries him and might even turn him off. He probably doesn't want to "retire" the way he is observing she has. And maybe you're right. Maybe having a busy working dad is what has allowed the marriage to continue. Maybe the idea of spending so much time just the two of them is freaking him out.

[Anonymous]

Your about to get married op.

One thing yiu need to learn is to stay out of the affairs of marries couples even if they are your parents.

[Anonymous]

Your mom retired and is basically just waiting to die. This is common. My in laws both retired at 55 and went from being interesting active people to people who literally sit home watching tv 12 hours a day in a matter of months.

I can see why your dad is absolutely not interested in that.

And also….stay out of it as you don’t seem to care beyond being embarrassed at your speculative wedding.

[Anonymous]

Your mother is either depressed or an alcoholic or both.

You can't do anything until you deal with that.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound very selfish and self-absorbed. Your main concern is that your parents might be divorced at your wedding? Have you ever heard of main character syndrome?

[Anonymous]

I would tell your mom to figure out how to be content with him working. I personally don’t think anyone should force someone else to stop working if they don’t want to. Especially when she should be able to find ways to entertain herself.

I disagree with people saying to stay out of it because you will be the one forced to take care of them both in their old age and being inconvenienced by having to split a bunch of holidays or whatever. If they get divorced your mom will most likely not get remarried and your dad will marry the first woman to cross his path because most men refuse to take care of themselves or be alone. Then you’ll be fighting with some woman he was married to for two years over his estate. I know this sounds cynical but I’ve seen this so many times.

[Anonymous]

OP, your focus on trying to figure out your parent's marriage, will be a real turn-off for your spouse, hurting your own marriage.

[Anonymous]

They've been married for 40 years, and you are now getting married? And thinking you will be the bride of divorced parents? WTH? I don't understand your post at all.
Your mom thinks retirement is all go, go, go, but sleeps all day and does nothing. Your dad earns good money, but hates the house but why can't they buy a house where they might like it? They travel, but they are miserable. You do not mention if either of them brought up the talk of divorce, so no clue there.
I don't see any issues here, they hate some things and like some things, and sounds like any couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They've been married for 40 years, and you are now getting married? And thinking you will be the bride of divorced parents? WTH? I don't understand your post at all.
Your mom thinks retirement is all go, go, go, but sleeps all day and does nothing. Your dad earns good money, but hates the house but why can't they buy a house where they might like it? They travel, but they are miserable. You do not mention if either of them brought up the talk of divorce, so no clue there.
I don't see any issues here, they hate some things and like some things, and sounds like any couple.

+1. I can't tell you how many older couples I know that bicker like your parents. It doesn't mean they want to divorce. Focus on your own wedding/marriage and leave your parents to work things out on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound very selfish and self-absorbed. Your main concern is that your parents might be divorced at your wedding? Have you ever heard of main character syndrome?

Why are you on this board? Why post such mean spirited things? I hope you find the love and affection that you so clearly need. Maybe try therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back: they do travel. Last year they were in Florida, France, and Germany. My mom thinks retirement means you are always on the go.

How is your mom always on the go and a couch potato? You need to MYOB and stay out of the marriage of others.

[Anonymous]

I can't deal with adults who are not my siblings referring to their parents as "Mom" and "Dad" instead of "my mom" and "my dad." I could hardly get through the post. Why do people do this? Do you call your husband "Babe" to your friends? Of course not. Stop telling me about "Mom." I am not your sister.

[Anonymous]

Does your mom want him to retire and sit in the recliner all day watching Fox News?

I think your dad is right. And it’s healthy to continue working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your mom want him to retire and sit in the recliner all day watching Fox News?

I think your dad is right. And it’s healthy to continue working.

Maybe if you have an easy low stress job. But if you have a physically taxing or very high stress job it is definitely not “healthy” to keep working.