Childless women would want their own child when they marry a divorced man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had to do it all over again I would never marry a man with children. The complications are too numerous but when I stop and think about them, I am so sad for this life. We do not have our own child and that is not an issue for me. It’s the feeling of always being an outsider in our world, it’s troubling.

You are getting at something important here. To marry someone who already has children (when you don't anyway) is to be subsumed into their life. There's no way around it (unless they have nothing to do with their kids in which case they are a horrible person and don't date let alone marry them). So you don't start out a marriage as a marriage should start out -- embarking on life together. One partner just steps into the other's life as it stands. Which can certainly create that "outsider" feeling. And you never really get to create much of a life that looks the way you want it -- holidays will look the way they always have for the kids, dinner will be at the time the kids eat and what they eat, vacations will be family vacations with kids that aren't yours and maybe they always go to the shore when you have wanted to go to Europe but you can't because PTO is always OBX with the kids. Or whatever. It's not for the faint of heart, and I wouldn't do it tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They can date women their own age? I don't get why suddenly when men are in their 40s they need to date younger women.

Because the younger woman has no kids, no real competition for her attention. It’s all about HIM.

His ex’s attention on their kids partially explains the divorce. Raising kids is a real drag for a lot of men.

He’s going to make the same mistakes again with the new younger woman. Hence why I said they are big dummies.

Stop making stuff up.

She’s totally spot on. You don’t have to step up your game to impress a younger woman. Then they shower with all their attention because they don’t have kids to divert.

No she's not and sometimes Dad's cannot maintain relationship due to the mother.

Sometimes relationships just happen and there is an age difference. Often they aren't looking for it. Why is it ok for mom's to remarry and have more kids but not dad's?

Found the deadbeat dad who abandoned his first kids for some new tail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in our mid forties and know several divorced men in their mid to late forties. The natural thing for these mid forties men were to date women in their thirties. As the relationship progressed, every single one wants to get married and have a kid. I think this is the natural feeling for a woman in love. Problem is the man already has kids and may not want more.

One man we know dated someone for years and eventually broke up because the woman wanted to marry. He told her from the beginning he does not ever want to remarry.

Another got remarried, had a baby and got divorced again.

Another got married to someone in her late thirties. She wants a baby and he doesn’t. When they got married, she said she didn’t want to have a baby.

Others just break up before they get too serious because man doesn’t want more kids.

Would you settle on this?

Not have a biological child to be with a guy you love or have another kid when you don’t want more.

Neither.

Both people should be with people at similar life stages. If the man already has an older vintage family and "falls in love" with a less mature woman, he should know better. If a less mature woman falls in love with the "stable provider" she should see straight through the fact that he traded his wife for a newer tighter version and will do it again. If people find themselves in this situation, they are both dumb.

The best situation for everyone is to marry people who want the same future.

But most of them don't "do it again." They settle in and that is that, happy or not.

Not true. More second marriages end in divorces than first marriages. So it’s actually more likely to end than it is to live happily ever after.