Reply to Childless women would want their own child when they marry a divorced man

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I had to do it all over again I would never marry a man with children. The complications are too numerous but when I stop and think about them, I am so sad for this life. We do not have our own child and that is not an issue for me. It’s the feeling of always being an outsider in our world, it’s troubling. [/quote]

You are getting at something important here. To marry someone who already has children (when you don't anyway) is to be subsumed into their life. There's no way around it (unless they have nothing to do with their kids in which case they are a horrible person and don't date let alone marry them). So you don't start out a marriage as a marriage should start out -- embarking on life together. One partner just steps into the other's life as it stands. Which can certainly create that "outsider" feeling. And you never really get to create much of a life that looks the way you want it -- holidays will look the way they always have for the kids, dinner will be at the time the kids eat and what they eat, vacations will be family vacations with kids that aren't yours and maybe they always go to the shore when you have wanted to go to Europe but you can't because PTO is always OBX with the kids. Or whatever. It's not for the faint of heart, and I wouldn't do it tbh. [/quote]

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