How is Sorority Rush going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed at UVA in 2010 (wow...how is that possible) but did not pledge a sorority. Not going to lie, it was...difficult.

I never really thought about/wanted to join a sorority prior to college - it was not on my radar, but I signed up for rush because it was such a big thing at UVA. I was out of state and didn't know anyone. Long story short, I ended up getting dropped from most sororities and getting a bid from what those on campus called the 'fat', 'loser' sorority (I may have been a loser, but I was not fat!) I declined the bid and decided not to be in a sorority at all.

EVEN AS someone who didn't really care that much about being in a sorority and went on to have good friends and a good college experience, it really stung. I remember telling my mom that 'a third of the girls at this school must not like me' after getting dropped nearly everywhere, and I always felt a bit insecure wondering what it was. In class, I'd wonder if I was sitting near a girl who dropped me or had talked badly about me during the decision-making process. Even looking back today, I wonder what was wrong with me at the time. And some people took it even harder - a girl in my dorm was so devastated her parents had to come up, and she nearly withdrew from the school (she ended up staying, fortunately, and getting really involved in a cool hobby group where she ended up meeting her husband, so all worked out).

Anyways, I find the system problematic and wouldn't support my daughter joining a sorority or rushing.

Same experience, same school, but in the 90s. If I could go back and choose a different college, I would pick one where there was no Greek system. It really soured my time there.

I'm sorry you also had that experience. I should add - it was even more difficult for women whose friends joined, and they did not (I met many of my friends later in my first year, but most of my 'initial' friends did not pledge).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Went through sorority rush back in the 90s at an Ivy. The process was crushing to some of my friends who didn’t match at their preferred house. I got into my top choice house, but I found it remarkably unfulfilling. Many of my “sisters” are still friends and I see them getting together for wine tours and things on FB. I will encourage my DC to avoid schools with Greek Life or at least look for a low percentage who rush/pledge, because there can be a perception that you will be left out socially if it seems most of your friends are rushing. My friend group ended up being centered around a shared interest rather than just the alcohol and hook-up culture of Greek Life, so I spent less and less time at the sorority house until I deactivated entirely. I’d rather have my kid attend college and live at home than pay huge dollars to be on their own in that setting. The girls I met were smart and high achievers, but I realized I’m not a “joiner” just for a social scene. I’d rather get to know people in a more organic way. Good luck to your DC. Certain personality types are better cut out for Greek Life than others.

Similar. Top sorority at my state school. Spent a lot of time focused on drinking and not on developing interests in other clubs and activities, which I still regret. Also, getting a bid was the best part - not as fulfilling as I expected, either, and really made me detest the rush process being on the inside in subsequent years - it was so petty and ugly. DD currently going through rush, fortunately already well entrenched in a few organizations, so a sorority would not be the main focus if she decides to join one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed at UVA in 2010 (wow...how is that possible) but did not pledge a sorority. Not going to lie, it was...difficult.

I never really thought about/wanted to join a sorority prior to college - it was not on my radar, but I signed up for rush because it was such a big thing at UVA. I was out of state and didn't know anyone. Long story short, I ended up getting dropped from most sororities and getting a bid from what those on campus called the 'fat', 'loser' sorority (I may have been a loser, but I was not fat!) I declined the bid and decided not to be in a sorority at all.

EVEN AS someone who didn't really care that much about being in a sorority and went on to have good friends and a good college experience, it really stung. I remember telling my mom that 'a third of the girls at this school must not like me' after getting dropped nearly everywhere, and I always felt a bit insecure wondering what it was. In class, I'd wonder if I was sitting near a girl who dropped me or had talked badly about me during the decision-making process. Even looking back today, I wonder what was wrong with me at the time. And some people took it even harder - a girl in my dorm was so devastated her parents had to come up, and she nearly withdrew from the school (she ended up staying, fortunately, and getting really involved in a cool hobby group where she ended up meeting her husband, so all worked out).

Anyways, I find the system problematic and wouldn't support my daughter joining a sorority or rushing.

Same experience, same school, but in the 90s. If I could go back and choose a different college, I would pick one where there was no Greek system. It really soured my time there.

I'm sorry you also had that experience. I should add - it was even more difficult for women whose friends joined, and they did not (I met many of my friends later in my first year, but most of my 'initial' friends did not pledge).

Yeah, it just really caused a rift in friendships that had organically formed on my hall. Just when you’re starting to get to know people and settle in, there’s a seismic social shift.

[Anonymous]

I think Wake guarantees every girl receives a bid, but not necessarily to their choice of sorority. It is meant to soften the process, but there is still disappointment as people get their hearts set on specific houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know that a lot of schools are going through it now. Is it going well? My DD will go through it next year and I’ve heard it is tough at the school she is going to (Indiana).

It hasn’t yet started at Virginia Tech anyway. I think it starts this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Wake guarantees every girl receives a bid, but not necessarily to their choice of sorority. It is meant to soften the process, but there is still disappointment as people get their hearts set on specific houses.

I'm the UVA poster and I think everyone could have gotten a bid if they wanted one, but most girls dropped out if they didn't get the houses back they wanted. Some of the less-desirable sororities then end up with like 5 people in their pledge class.

[Anonymous]

It’s for insecure women who have nothing going for them but their appearance and their mommy/daddy’s money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed at UVA in 2010 (wow...how is that possible) but did not pledge a sorority. Not going to lie, it was...difficult.

I never really thought about/wanted to join a sorority prior to college - it was not on my radar, but I signed up for rush because it was such a big thing at UVA. I was out of state and didn't know anyone. Long story short, I ended up getting dropped from most sororities and getting a bid from what those on campus called the 'fat', 'loser' sorority (I may have been a loser, but I was not fat!) I declined the bid and decided not to be in a sorority at all.

EVEN AS someone who didn't really care that much about being in a sorority and went on to have good friends and a good college experience, it really stung. I remember telling my mom that 'a third of the girls at this school must not like me' after getting dropped nearly everywhere, and I always felt a bit insecure wondering what it was. In class, I'd wonder if I was sitting near a girl who dropped me or had talked badly about me during the decision-making process. Even looking back today, I wonder what was wrong with me at the time. And some people took it even harder - a girl in my dorm was so devastated her parents had to come up, and she nearly withdrew from the school (she ended up staying, fortunately, and getting really involved in a cool hobby group where she ended up meeting her husband, so all worked out).

Anyways, I find the system problematic and wouldn't support my daughter joining a sorority or rushing.

Same experience, same school, but in the 90s. If I could go back and choose a different college, I would pick one where there was no Greek system. It really soured my time there.

I'm sorry you also had that experience. I should add - it was even more difficult for women whose friends joined, and they did not (I met many of my friends later in my first year, but most of my 'initial' friends did not pledge).

Yeah, it just really caused a rift in friendships that had organically formed on my hall. Just when you’re starting to get to know people and settle in, there’s a seismic social shift.

DP. I was secretly thrilled when my daughter told me she had no interest in rushing at her large state school. The vast majority of kids don't, so she had plenty of non-Greek friends. I was so relieved that she avoided that whole mess and just had a fantastic four years with no drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

How would ppl even know if you are rich?

It's called "zip coding" at my DD school. She zip-coded well, wore a lot of Love Shack Fancy and all her Cartier.
Sad but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

How would ppl even know if you are rich?

It's called "zip coding" at my DD school. She zip-coded well, wore a lot of Love Shack Fancy and all her Cartier.
Sad but true.

What does the zip-code mean??

[Anonymous]

Why does the National Panhellenic decide how many girls can be in each house? If there are 9 houses and 90 % of the girls want the same 3 houses, why cant the popular house expand to accommodate more girls? They try to force all these girls into the houses with weird or awkward girls (sorry but true) and then they just end up dropping out and are traumatized. Why cant you just have 5 really big sororities? It makes no sense to me. It is just brutal and mean to these girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

How would ppl even know if you are rich?

It's called "zip coding" at my DD school. She zip-coded well, wore a lot of Love Shack Fancy and all her Cartier.
Sad but true.

Yes, it’s sad that you have raised a daughter like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does the National Panhellenic decide how many girls can be in each house? If there are 9 houses and 90 % of the girls want the same 3 houses, why cant the popular house expand to accommodate more girls? They try to force all these girls into the houses with weird or awkward girls (sorry but true) and then they just end up dropping out and are traumatized. Why cant you just have 5 really big sororities? It makes no sense to me. It is just brutal and mean to these girls.

Yeah, and it doesn’t work on either side bc the smaller houses get like five people and struggle to stay afloat. I am the UVA rusher from earlier who got one of ‘those’ houses. Nearly the entire pledge class declined the bid, hardly anyone even went to the bid day event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

How would ppl even know if you are rich?

It's called "zip coding" at my DD school. She zip-coded well, wore a lot of Love Shack Fancy and all her Cartier.
Sad but true.

What does the zip-code mean??

Looking for wealthier hometown zip codes.

[Anonymous]

Thinking you are better than “those” houses or the “awkward” girls is just as cringe-worthy as being rejected and judged by the “good” sororities that rejected you.