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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I rushed at UVA in 2010 (wow...how is that possible) but did not pledge a sorority. Not going to lie, it was...difficult.

I never really thought about/wanted to join a sorority prior to college - it was not on my radar, but I signed up for rush because it was such a big thing at UVA. I was out of state and didn't know anyone. Long story short, I ended up getting dropped from most sororities and getting  a bid from what those on campus called the 'fat', 'loser' sorority (I may have been a loser, but I was not fat!) I declined the bid and decided not to be in a sorority at all.

EVEN AS someone who didn't really care that much about being in a sorority and went on to have good friends and a good college experience, it really stung. I remember telling my mom that 'a third of the girls at this school must not like me' after getting dropped nearly everywhere, and I always felt a bit insecure wondering what it was. In class, I'd wonder if I was sitting near a girl who dropped me or had talked badly about me during the decision-making process. Even looking back today, I wonder what was wrong with me at the time. And some people took it even harder - a girl in my dorm was so devastated her parents had to come up, and she nearly withdrew from the school (she ended up staying, fortunately, and getting really involved in a cool hobby group where she ended up meeting her husband, so all worked out).

Anyways, I find the system problematic and wouldn't support my daughter joining a sorority or rushing. [/quote]

Same experience, same school, but in the 90s. If I could go back and choose a different college, I would pick one where there was no Greek system. It really soured my time there. [/quote]

I'm sorry you also had that experience. I should add - it was even more difficult for women whose friends joined, and they did not (I met many of my friends later in my first year, but most of my 'initial' friends did not pledge). [/quote]

Yeah, it just really caused a rift in friendships that had organically formed on my hall. Just when you’re starting to get to know people and settle in, there’s a seismic social shift. [/quote]

DP.  I was secretly thrilled when my daughter told me she had no interest in rushing at her large state school.  The vast majority of kids don't, so she had plenty of non-Greek friends.  I was so relieved that she avoided that whole mess and just had a fantastic four years with no drama.[/quote]

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