Tired of Having to Be the Bad Guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been looking at houses for a long time and hope to find something so we can move out of our rental. DH keeps showing me houses that have some crucial aspect missing that we need like off-street parking, is on a busy road, not in a flood zone, etc. He’s getting frustrated when I point these things out, but those are issues that are non-negotiable. I’m tired of having to be the bad guy explaining why these listings wouldn’t work for us. Anyone else sick of having to be the adult in this situation?

Are you sure some are in the flood zone? Sometimes online it says it is but really isn’t so you should be checking other sources.

Also, you can’t always get what you want in your budget so it might be good to go look at some of these homes so you get an idea.

Look in different neighborhoods and areas. We stayed in our neighborhood but are a little farther out. When we rented it took us 10 minutes to walk to certain places that now take 20-25 minutes. My husband also wanted a garage and we ended up with parking but no garage (we could build one). We wanted a particular area and were not willing to compromise on that but we had the funds to buy in that area.

Also we bought a corner lot and one side is double yellow and it’s totally fine. I would have thought if I didn’t go look at the home that I would live on a double yellow. After viewing it and speaking to neighbors I’m really happy where we live. For some reason it is not that busy.

I would recommend seeing homes even ones you say you might not want. The home we bought my husband online said no but in person he saw the potential and the amazing neighborhood. He actually loves it more than me now. So I would say go look at homes at open houses to get an idea.

Double yellows is not something i would take a chance on.

Good for you? We haven’t had any issues and my friends who are on side streets have had more issues with speeding and actual racing and there kids think they are totally safe. We live on a corner with a double yellow but have the yard fenced and my kids know to be careful/ stay in sidewalk. As people say above you don’t always get what you want and we wanted a particular nice area so we had to make concessions.

NP re-sale value it will be an issue. You will get less for a house on double yellows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been looking at houses for a long time and hope to find something so we can move out of our rental. DH keeps showing me houses that have some crucial aspect missing that we need like off-street parking, is on a busy road, not in a flood zone, etc. He’s getting frustrated when I point these things out, but those are issues that are non-negotiable. I’m tired of having to be the bad guy explaining why these listings wouldn’t work for us. Anyone else sick of having to be the adult in this situation?

Are you sure some are in the flood zone? Sometimes online it says it is but really isn’t so you should be checking other sources.

Also, you can’t always get what you want in your budget so it might be good to go look at some of these homes so you get an idea.

Look in different neighborhoods and areas. We stayed in our neighborhood but are a little farther out. When we rented it took us 10 minutes to walk to certain places that now take 20-25 minutes. My husband also wanted a garage and we ended up with parking but no garage (we could build one). We wanted a particular area and were not willing to compromise on that but we had the funds to buy in that area.

Also we bought a corner lot and one side is double yellow and it’s totally fine. I would have thought if I didn’t go look at the home that I would live on a double yellow. After viewing it and speaking to neighbors I’m really happy where we live. For some reason it is not that busy.

I would recommend seeing homes even ones you say you might not want. The home we bought my husband online said no but in person he saw the potential and the amazing neighborhood. He actually loves it more than me now. So I would say go look at homes at open houses to get an idea.

Double yellows is not something i would take a chance on.

Good for you? We haven’t had any issues and my friends who are on side streets have had more issues with speeding and actual racing and there kids think they are totally safe. We live on a corner with a double yellow but have the yard fenced and my kids know to be careful/ stay in sidewalk. As people say above you don’t always get what you want and we wanted a particular nice area so we had to make concessions.

I assume your driveway and entry you normally use is on the quiet street. That’s the only way it’s feasible.

OMFG. Do you think all those single family homes on double yellow roads are filled with people with no kids? Yes, it is possible for kids to live in a house on a road with a double yellow road.

It's fascinating that so many people on here -- some of whom, I'm guessing, have advanced educational degrees -- become such utter simpletons anytime they have to think about a road that gets more than five cars per hour. They think anything with more traffic than a cul-de-sac is the equivalent of the Beltway. Such rubes.

It is appropriate to share ad hominem insults out loud now? What is the purpose for doing so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A. No flood zone is indeed non-negotiable. The rest is.

B. You're too early for the spring market, especially in a Presidential election year, when everything traditionally freezes until the new admin comes in. Right now inventory for good homes is very low.

C. Once spring season starts, you need your financial ducks in a row so you can make an offer day of. So do that now, if you haven't already done so.

This. It also sounds like you have a lot of non-negotiables without a particularly negotiable budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The chance that you will be able to find a house that meets every single one of your prerequisites is close to zero. You have to accept that you will not find a unicorn and go from there. It sounds like you're the one who needs this advice, not him.

That’s ridiculous, her list is very reasonable.

Off street parking?

Busy road?

Not flooding.

This is like very basic not terrible house.

Depends. Do you want to live in the city or very close to it in the older suburbs, especially in good school zones, without a massive budget? Then you have to compromise either a busy road (also no idea what that definition is) or off street parking.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you on not wanting to be on a busy road.

Some people are totally fine with the noise of living on one, but others (including me) are more bothered by the noise of a busy road. It is so important to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been looking at houses for a long time and hope to find something so we can move out of our rental. DH keeps showing me houses that have some crucial aspect missing that we need like off-street parking, is on a busy road, not in a flood zone, etc. He’s getting frustrated when I point these things out, but those are issues that are non-negotiable. I’m tired of having to be the bad guy explaining why these listings wouldn’t work for us. Anyone else sick of having to be the adult in this situation?

Are you sure some are in the flood zone? Sometimes online it says it is but really isn’t so you should be checking other sources.

Also, you can’t always get what you want in your budget so it might be good to go look at some of these homes so you get an idea.

Look in different neighborhoods and areas. We stayed in our neighborhood but are a little farther out. When we rented it took us 10 minutes to walk to certain places that now take 20-25 minutes. My husband also wanted a garage and we ended up with parking but no garage (we could build one). We wanted a particular area and were not willing to compromise on that but we had the funds to buy in that area.

Also we bought a corner lot and one side is double yellow and it’s totally fine. I would have thought if I didn’t go look at the home that I would live on a double yellow. After viewing it and speaking to neighbors I’m really happy where we live. For some reason it is not that busy.

I would recommend seeing homes even ones you say you might not want. The home we bought my husband online said no but in person he saw the potential and the amazing neighborhood. He actually loves it more than me now. So I would say go look at homes at open houses to get an idea.

Double yellows is not something i would take a chance on.

Good for you? We haven’t had any issues and my friends who are on side streets have had more issues with speeding and actual racing and there kids think they are totally safe. We live on a corner with a double yellow but have the yard fenced and my kids know to be careful/ stay in sidewalk. As people say above you don’t always get what you want and we wanted a particular nice area so we had to make concessions.

NP re-sale value it will be an issue. You will get less for a house on double yellows.

You also pay less for a house on a busier road. We passed on a house on a busy road (Quincy in Arlington) pre pandemic and got a smaller house on a quieter street. Now that I’m working from home home more we could use the extra space and I’m not sure I’d make the same decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been looking at houses for a long time and hope to find something so we can move out of our rental. DH keeps showing me houses that have some crucial aspect missing that we need like off-street parking, is on a busy road, not in a flood zone, etc. He’s getting frustrated when I point these things out, but those are issues that are non-negotiable. I’m tired of having to be the bad guy explaining why these listings wouldn’t work for us. Anyone else sick of having to be the adult in this situation?

Are you sure some are in the flood zone? Sometimes online it says it is but really isn’t so you should be checking other sources.

Also, you can’t always get what you want in your budget so it might be good to go look at some of these homes so you get an idea.

Look in different neighborhoods and areas. We stayed in our neighborhood but are a little farther out. When we rented it took us 10 minutes to walk to certain places that now take 20-25 minutes. My husband also wanted a garage and we ended up with parking but no garage (we could build one). We wanted a particular area and were not willing to compromise on that but we had the funds to buy in that area.

Also we bought a corner lot and one side is double yellow and it’s totally fine. I would have thought if I didn’t go look at the home that I would live on a double yellow. After viewing it and speaking to neighbors I’m really happy where we live. For some reason it is not that busy.

I would recommend seeing homes even ones you say you might not want. The home we bought my husband online said no but in person he saw the potential and the amazing neighborhood. He actually loves it more than me now. So I would say go look at homes at open houses to get an idea.

Double yellows is not something i would take a chance on.

Good for you? We haven’t had any issues and my friends who are on side streets have had more issues with speeding and actual racing and there kids think they are totally safe. We live on a corner with a double yellow but have the yard fenced and my kids know to be careful/ stay in sidewalk. As people say above you don’t always get what you want and we wanted a particular nice area so we had to make concessions.

NP re-sale value it will be an issue. You will get less for a house on double yellows.

You also pay less for a house on a busier road. We passed on a house on a busy road (Quincy in Arlington) pre pandemic and got a smaller house on a quieter street. Now that I’m working from home home more we could use the extra space and I’m not sure I’d make the same decision.

Quincy is pretty busy. I think you made the right call.

A road that busy also makes the backyard difficult to enjoy.

[Anonymous]

A busy road in Arlington = Glebe, Arlington Blvd, Washington, Columbia Pike, etc

A busy road in Moco = River Rd, Western, Wisconsin, Connecticut, Bradley, Veirs Mill, etc.

A house on these roads would be a deal breaker. Others are probably manageable.

[Anonymous]

That’s ridiculous, her list is very reasonable.

Off street parking?

Busy road?

Not flooding.

This is like very basic not terrible house.
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It isn't clear where OP is looking or what the entire list is. Not flooding - sure. No busy road and off street parking - may not be reasonable for many parts of DC, especially depending on budget.

For some parts of DC, reasonable would be your only non-negotiables is 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms with a budget that can escalate. And, even then you may have to consider a 3 bed, 1.5 bath or not in the school zone you want, etc.

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A busy road in Moco = River Rd, Western, Wisconsin, Connecticut, Bradley, Veirs Mill, etc. A house on these roads would be a deal breaker.
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We and many or our family friends are raising kids on these roads. Again, how many "dealbreakers" you can have really depends on when and where you are looking.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that matters is whether or not OP can afford a home without these drawbacks.

[Anonymous]

We have never had the luxury of waiting until we found something with everything we wanted. I don’t even like my floor plan. But it’s what was available in our price range and location when we needed to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been looking at houses for a long time and hope to find something so we can move out of our rental. DH keeps showing me houses that have some crucial aspect missing that we need like off-street parking, is on a busy road, not in a flood zone, etc. He’s getting frustrated when I point these things out, but those are issues that are non-negotiable. I’m tired of having to be the bad guy explaining why these listings wouldn’t work for us. Anyone else sick of having to be the adult in this situation?

Perhaps you should reconsider purchasing a home until you and your DH resolve your communication issues. You will never be satisfied with any home, or with the necessary renovations/repairs (having owned 6 houses, I know the one universal truth-all houses need work). New bathroom tile- too much yellow, too large, too small. How do we find a contractor? How much do we spend?

You as a couple need help, but the issues are much deeper than home buying perspectives.