Tired of Having to Be the Bad Guy
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Anonymous
| OP: Your list of non-negotiables seems reasonable. |
Anonymous
| Clearly, you're not on the same page. When my spouse and I started looking, we created a mutually agreed-upon list of characteristics we needed and wanted, with the former being absolutes and the latter being more subject to further consideration in view of the totality of the property under consideration. We didn't look at homes which failed to meet our needs, and we individually evaluated homes which met some but not all of our wants. In your case, he's looking at homes which don't meet at least your needs, a waste of everyone's time unless he expects you to revise your requirements when faced with homes he finds. |
Anonymous
| Frame it in terms of “resale value” being harmed by the negative factors. That makes it less about your wish list and more about your joint financial future. |
Anonymous
| depending on where you are looking, off-street parking isn't always realistic. |
Anonymous
OP had me until this comment:
What a nasty attitude to have about your spouse. |
Anonymous
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We had a similar problem during our house hunt, except I was on the opposite side, constantly suggesting houses only to be shot down.
The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. DH needs to get real with the properties he's showing you. Things like a busy road are just a non-starter for people with kids. And you need to get real with the properties and location in which you can actually afford to live. Mandatory requirements for things like off-street parking need to go, especially if you are trying to buy in anywhere competitive. |
Anonymous
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This was me and my DH 10 years ago and you have my sympathy OP. My DH was always so impressed with shiny features on flipped homes that he would overlook pretty crucial factors (ex: one home had no real living room space, as in nowhere to place a basic 3 seater sofa!). This went on and on.
Frankly, you’re just going to have to find the home OP. |
Anonymous
| The chance that you will be able to find a house that meets every single one of your prerequisites is close to zero. You have to accept that you will not find a unicorn and go from there. It sounds like you're the one who needs this advice, not him. |
Anonymous
Are you sure some are in the flood zone? Sometimes online it says it is but really isn’t so you should be checking other sources. Also, you can’t always get what you want in your budget so it might be good to go look at some of these homes so you get an idea. Look in different neighborhoods and areas. We stayed in our neighborhood but are a little farther out. When we rented it took us 10 minutes to walk to certain places that now take 20-25 minutes. My husband also wanted a garage and we ended up with parking but no garage (we could build one). We wanted a particular area and were not willing to compromise on that but we had the funds to buy in that area. Also we bought a corner lot and one side is double yellow and it’s totally fine. I would have thought if I didn’t go look at the home that I would live on a double yellow. After viewing it and speaking to neighbors I’m really happy where we live. For some reason it is not that busy. I would recommend seeing homes even ones you say you might not want. The home we bought my husband online said no but in person he saw the potential and the amazing neighborhood. He actually loves it more than me now. So I would say go look at homes at open houses to get an idea. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. Your spouse is an adult and finding home to look at but you keep saying no. Go look at them if they have an open! We did this! Even homes we would never buy we went to see to get an idea of what we liked and didn’t like. Maybe you both could do this look at open houses this weekend and you each pick 1-2 that you both must go see. If you have kids get a sitter. Grab a meal or coffee after and talk about what you liked/ didn’t like about each. We bought a home we saw at an open house and didn’t think we’d buy! The more we saw the more we knew what we wanted. That being said don’t go to homes that are out of budget because then things get warped. Stay in your budget so you know what you can actually afford and go from there. I wanted to stay in one area but we looked in other areas close by. We ended up staying where we wanted but realized that if we wanted more house we would have to move and we rather stay in our area but it was good to at least see that 20 minute drive away we could buy double the house for the same price!! |
Anonymous
However, some properties might allow for you to build it later. This makes it much more negotiable. Some properties might be easy, some places might require a retaining wall and engineering, and some places it might be totally impossible. Busy roads will get busier, flood zones won’t change, but some items aren’t so set in stone. |
Anonymous
| Same situation here op. We made a list and now im not the bad guy and he can see we agreed on it. Now hes saying no just as much a I am he just needed to see it. |
Anonymous
Double yellows is not something i would take a chance on. |
Anonymous
Good for you? We haven’t had any issues and my friends who are on side streets have had more issues with speeding and actual racing and there kids think they are totally safe. We live on a corner with a double yellow but have the yard fenced and my kids know to be careful/ stay in sidewalk. As people say above you don’t always get what you want and we wanted a particular nice area so we had to make concessions. |
Anonymous
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Pp their kids *
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