Asking coworkers to stop discussing a certain topic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these people generally jerks or generally nice? If they are generally nice, I would just say something like “Bob, I’m sorry but can I get you guys to NOT talk about animal butchering before the meetings? I am really queasy about that kind of stuff and it makes me really sick.” I have a nephew that butches all of his own meat but he would be super sensitive to the fact that not everyone wants to hear about it! I think that’s true of stuff like medical discussions, etc.

If they are jerks, then I suspect nothing good will come of you raising this, and you should just get headphones and say something like — I’m going to try to respond to emails until the meeting starts — just wave a hand when we’re getting started.

I agree with this assessment.

Yes, this. Make it about you, be self deprecating, make it light, but be consistent. After using the above once or twice you can be a bit more direct. “Guys! No the butchering conversation again! Anyone do something fun this weekend?” Rinse and repeat. If they circle back “I’m sorry, but I’m actually kind of serious. I just can’t handle it. Can we discuss something else?”

[Anonymous]

I had a coworker who was a gun nut. He would constantly talk to me about guns, 2A stuff, and how liberals were coming for his guns. I asked him to stop talking with me about it because my father was shot in the line of duty and I have known people who have died in two different mass shootings. He increased his conversations with me on guns after my comment. I would say nothing, OP. Male coworkers double down on things when they know it makes you uncomfortable. Say nothing.

[Anonymous]

just start talking about your periods. Instant toxic man repellent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say, “guys, this is a little bit more blood and entrails than I am prepared for today. Mind if we shift topics?” in a lighthearted way. It has nothing to do with being vegetarian. It’s just kind of gross to talk about in a meeting.

+1, from a farming kid. It's not office appropriate, and worse, it's tedious for two people to continually dominate the conversation with their hobby. I would not ever say that you're squeamish, because that's probably what they're after. I'd imply (after trying repeatedly to change the topic) that you're bored by them.

Since the meetings are in person, start a side conversation with someone else, ask a cooking question that isn't about meat, ask a new question about their livestock ("Do people ever ask you for Easter bunnies? I've heard some people actually rent them for the day."). If they continue to try to dominate, pointedly ask someone else about their hobby. You can get pretty rude in the name of including everyone.

Good point. And By saying something or changing the subject you may also be sticking up for others. For example, I have many coworkers who are vegetarian Indians and if they were present for this talk, I’d wonder if it was upsetting to them. Maybe not, but it’s always good to be mindful of cultural dynamics at play.

I actually believe that people who consume meat should be aware of the realities of it and I also think those who raise and handle their own meat are admirable but for me, this is just about what’s appropriate and considerate in a meeting, and this is not.

I had two hunting obsessed colleagues and while I found it extremely boring to listen to them, they focused mainly on discussion of equipment, tactics etc and nothing super graphic, so I was fine with that if not thrilled to hear it constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just start talking about your periods. Instant toxic man repellent.

To you and the immediate PP: OP’s farmers are women.

Try again.

[Anonymous]

Suggest you performative vomit on the conference table. Obviously they know they are gross and are trying to get a reaction.

[Anonymous]

“Karla and Jane, can we take the rabbit dismembering offline for now? Thanks so much”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:get up and go to the bathroom. Why do you think you have the right to control speech?

I don’t think op was suggesting any changes to the constitution.

Nor is OP the government.

cUrTaIl sPeEcH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:get up and go to the bathroom. Why do you think you have the right to control speech?

I don’t think op was suggesting any changes to the constitution.

yes, she is! She's trying to control speech at a state function.