Asking coworkers to stop discussing a certain topic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this in person or online? Is this during the meeting itself or before it starts? If it’s while people are talking to each other, find someone else and talk about something else. Start your own chit chat conversation. If I were your manager and it was happening in my meeting, I wouldn’t mind being pulled aside and told “that line of conversation makes me queasy” and I’d go talk to the others, but please don’t get up in my face with a rant on the evils of meat eating. Online, just turn down the volume until the actual work talk starts.

But I do recommend using your words, but in a pleasant way - like mentioned above or “Bob, Dave, please - there are ladies present!” or something like that, with a laugh. Find your own common ground with your coworkers.

Don't do the ladies thing. I am a woman and I've dissected plenty of bodies. Woman can be farmers, and of course they do what needs to be done. But yes, talk to these people, OP.

You have missed the point. I’m the PP, female, and my family owns butcher shops. But these two dudes talk about this kind of stuff and you want them to shut up so you give them a code most men will understand to mean shut up. Not a lecture on vegetarianism and feminism in the same breath.

PP you replied to. You cannot count on that. A man who owns a farm has a wife who has seen her share of blood and guts, even if she might not do the butchering herself, and her husband certainly doesn't consider that women are too delicate to hear such things. But they might realize, if reminded, that it's not the best workplace topic, and/or that *some* women are not used to the farm life and don't feel comfortable hearing about it.

I'm a scientist who dissects animals, and my uncle has a farm. The conversations between the men and women there don't shy away from gory topics. So I think OP needs to talk just about herself and her reactions to the topic.

[Anonymous]

I wonder, OP, can you just approach this from a grossness angle, not vegetarianism? It is inappropriate, like the people who talk in depth about their medical stuff and their kid projectile vomiting. If that doesn't work, I actually would speak with my supervisor before taking some of the advice to hang back and not participate. Not from the POV of making a complaint against them for doing something wrong, but from the POV of everyone being comfortable with what is discussed. My supervisor is big on participation in personal chitchat and it would reflect poorly on me to ignore people, but they would be fine redirecting the conversation to more comfortable topics.

[Anonymous]

I would be fine if (as a supervisor) someone asked me to not bring up the gory subject. My MIL who eats meat cannot handle conversation that covers “what part of the cow is this from” I would just let folks know in private first it’s great they farm, but it’s off putting to non farmers. Not an official complaint more of a pleas knock off the bloody talk

[Anonymous]

I would just say, “guys, this is a little bit more blood and entrails than I am prepared for today. Mind if we shift topics?” in a lighthearted way. It has nothing to do with being vegetarian. It’s just kind of gross to talk about in a meeting.

[Anonymous]

get up and go to the bathroom. Why do you think you have the right to control speech?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:get up and go to the bathroom. Why do you think you have the right to control speech?

I don’t think op was suggesting any changes to the constitution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this in person or online? Is this during the meeting itself or before it starts? If it’s while people are talking to each other, find someone else and talk about something else. Start your own chit chat conversation. If I were your manager and it was happening in my meeting, I wouldn’t mind being pulled aside and told “that line of conversation makes me queasy” and I’d go talk to the others, but please don’t get up in my face with a rant on the evils of meat eating. Online, just turn down the volume until the actual work talk starts.

But I do recommend using your words, but in a pleasant way - like mentioned above or “Bob, Dave, please - there are ladies present!” or something like that, with a laugh. Find your own common ground with your coworkers.

Don't do the ladies thing. I am a woman and I've dissected plenty of bodies. Woman can be farmers, and of course they do what needs to be done. But yes, talk to these people, OP.

You have missed the point. I’m the PP, female, and my family owns butcher shops. But these two dudes talk about this kind of stuff and you want them to shut up so you give them a code most men will understand to mean shut up. Not a lecture on vegetarianism and feminism in the same breath.

OP’s farmers are women. Hilarious.

What are the odds 2 of OPs coworkers run these farms on the side and are in the same meeting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:get up and go to the bathroom. Why do you think you have the right to control speech?

I don’t think op was suggesting any changes to the constitution.

Lol. Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just say, “guys, this is a little bit more blood and entrails than I am prepared for today. Mind if we shift topics?” in a lighthearted way. It has nothing to do with being vegetarian. It’s just kind of gross to talk about in a meeting.

This. I have colleagues who grew up in medical type families, and when they realize the rest of us are grossed out they do stop and laugh it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just say, “guys, this is a little bit more blood and entrails than I am prepared for today. Mind if we shift topics?” in a lighthearted way. It has nothing to do with being vegetarian. It’s just kind of gross to talk about in a meeting.

This! I eat meat and I would not want to hear this at a work meeting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work for state government. Every month during our small team meeting we chit chat about non-work things for a good 15 minutes before starting the actual meeting. I seem to work with a bunch of extroverts, and people like to chat so that's fine.

But two of them are small farmers with chickens, ducks, rabbits etc that they raise for meat. And the topic of conversation is frequently the gruesome details of butchering animals. I'm a vegetarian and it turns my stomach to hear it. I don't have anything at all against other people raising and eating meat, especially since they raise their animals ethically. But I'm at the end of my tolerance to hear about it.

I think I'm within my rights to ask my supervisor to say something to put a stop to it. Or to say something myself during the meeting. Here's my question - do you think this type of request is going to start us on a slippery slope? Meaning, the farmers will demand maybe we shouldn't talk about this other topic or that other topic? Would a request to stop talking about a certain topic in your office be well-received?

Grow a tougher constitution. Being a vegetarian isn’t a protected class. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

A similar situation happened to me twice. I am a vegetarian and animal rights person.

I just started talking about how my sister, a very specialized gynecological surgeon, performs 2nd and 3rd trimester abortions. I got very detailed.

That shut those farmers up real quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:get up and go to the bathroom. Why do you think you have the right to control speech?

I don’t think op was suggesting any changes to the constitution.

yes, she is! She's trying to control speech at a state function.

[Anonymous]

Tell your boss you're too busy to have these farm talks, and ask what time to show up for the business meeting not begin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work for state government. Every month during our small team meeting we chit chat about non-work things for a good 15 minutes before starting the actual meeting. I seem to work with a bunch of extroverts, and people like to chat so that's fine.

But two of them are small farmers with chickens, ducks, rabbits etc that they raise for meat. And the topic of conversation is frequently the gruesome details of butchering animals. I'm a vegetarian and it turns my stomach to hear it. I don't have anything at all against other people raising and eating meat, especially since they raise their animals ethically. But I'm at the end of my tolerance to hear about it.

I think I'm within my rights to ask my supervisor to say something to put a stop to it. Or to say something myself during the meeting. Here's my question - do you think this type of request is going to start us on a slippery slope? Meaning, the farmers will demand maybe we shouldn't talk about this other topic or that other topic? Would a request to stop talking about a certain topic in your office be well-received?

Grow a tougher constitution. Being a vegetarian isn’t a protected class. Grow up.

Is it a protected class to not want to hear about your co-workers fibroids and GI issues?