Why do teachers allow horribly behaved kids to stay in the classroom and disrupt other kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god. You think WE want them in there either!? We are just like you, we wish we could send them home, to the hall, ANYWHERE. We can’t! You need to escalate your concerns to ADMIN but even then if the kid has an IEP, you’re not getting anywhere because they legally cannot be excluded from participating with their non disabled peers.

Should be in quotes.

Well according to my school, starting fights, saying the N word, and sleeping count as “participating and accessing the curriculum.”

I believe it. My district (not DMV) differentiates between the "reclaimed" n-word and the n-word with a hard R. Which maybe makes some sense, but there's no consequence for use of the latter (but I've never heard a white kid use it).

My district also takes about "access" to education. Same way politicians talk about "access" to healthcare.

What a country we have become.

The reclaimed n word?! That sounds like code for “the n word is fine when black people say it and the worst thing ever when white people say it”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I shouldn’t have to shell out 12k a semester for my kid to get a descent education. We live in a nice school district. We pay taxes.

Why is my 8-year-old coming home everyday telling me what the same kid did today in their class?

I truly feel for this kid. Maybe he has a mental illness. Maybe he has a bad home life? But now my kid is anxious to go to school because of this kids outburst and behaviors.

This year alone he’s;

- threatened to kill several peers
- flipped his desk almost weekly
- grabbed a stapler and threatened another kid with it
- had daily loud, disruptive and scary meltdowns
- threatened to kill the teacher
- refused to participate in any class activity
- drew a sexually graphic picture on paperwork

Numerous other classmates and the classroom parent have confirmed these issues.

He’s sent to the office and then comes back. Nothing is done. How is this ok???

You ask, “Why do teachers allow…” and then write the part in bold? You have your answer.

[Anonymous]

It's because the teachers do not have a choice. Same thing happened in my DD's 2nd and 3rd grade class. I did everything I could to protect my DD. I got reprimanded by the principal. Eventually I pulled DD and paid for private school for 2 years. It bites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s the teachers’ decision to keep these kids in their rooms? I had a student in my classroom who destroyed it. I’d say at least a few hundreds of dollars worth of my belongings were destroyed including nearly half of my classroom library, bulletin boards, art supplies, etc. It took months of documentation and a very on board admin to get this student a one on one aid (didn’t help much). The kid ended up in a different program this year.

I had no idea. I’m not a teacher so how am I suppose to know. Whatever the problem is, it has to stop.

We are letting the majority of the class suffer because of one or two struggling students.

DP
This is the reason why I retired from ES teaching 3 years earlier than I had originally planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the F are you blaming teachers!!!! Do you think we want a kid in our class to threaten to kill us? Or a kid who hits, bites, or spits on us? Do you think we want a kid who is destroying the classroom we use our own money to decorate. Do you really believe we want a kid who is making all the other kids in the class suffer? There is NOTHING we can do.

Blame administrators- principals, special Ed. Directors, and board members who no longer allow kids to be suspended or disciplined. Or block kids from going to special Ed placements. Teachers send kids to the office and they are sent right back to our class often with a treat. We are told to “build a relationship” with the kid who is threatening to kill us or cussing us out or attacking us.

My bad.

I’m just over here dealing with a kid who is bawling because she thought when she went back to school in January she’d be in a new class and not around this child.

You’re a pathetic monster

This right here is why this system is perpetuated. A parent is upset because their child is developing symptoms of ptsd having to spend 6 hours a day worried about their own safety, the safety of her classmates and teacher. Their child doesn’t want to worry about having to evacuate a classroom, see their classroom destroyed, her angry and aggressive cussing and shouting.

And this poster calls the parent “a pathetic monster”?

It’s all about the rights of the one kid destroying the education of 20 other students and having the teacher think about quiting every single day. I don’t understand how the pendulum has swung so far to one side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the F are you blaming teachers!!!! Do you think we want a kid in our class to threaten to kill us? Or a kid who hits, bites, or spits on us? Do you think we want a kid who is destroying the classroom we use our own money to decorate. Do you really believe we want a kid who is making all the other kids in the class suffer? There is NOTHING we can do.

Blame administrators- principals, special Ed. Directors, and board members who no longer allow kids to be suspended or disciplined. Or block kids from going to special Ed placements. Teachers send kids to the office and they are sent right back to our class often with a treat. We are told to “build a relationship” with the kid who is threatening to kill us or cussing us out or attacking us.

My bad.

I’m just over here dealing with a kid who is bawling because she thought when she went back to school in January she’d be in a new class and not around this child.

You’re a pathetic monster

This right here is why this system is perpetuated. A parent is upset because their child is developing symptoms of ptsd having to spend 6 hours a day worried about their own safety, the safety of her classmates and teacher. Their child doesn’t want to worry about having to evacuate a classroom, see their classroom destroyed, her angry and aggressive cussing and shouting.

And this poster calls the parent “a pathetic monster”?

It’s all about the rights of the one kid destroying the education of 20 other students and having the teacher think about quiting every single day. I don’t understand how the pendulum has swung so far to one side.

Agree. I really think our politicians simply don’t know about it. They all send their kids to the top privates where these things just don’t happen.

[Anonymous]

I’m a high school teacher and a student stole my car (granted it’s a hunk of junk). All on camera from the school and the kid is back in my class. Since he brought my car back after a joy ride the admin didn't want to punish too harshly. Expulsion is not a thing since kids come and go as they wish and still get passed on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the F are you blaming teachers!!!! Do you think we want a kid in our class to threaten to kill us? Or a kid who hits, bites, or spits on us? Do you think we want a kid who is destroying the classroom we use our own money to decorate. Do you really believe we want a kid who is making all the other kids in the class suffer? There is NOTHING we can do.

Blame administrators- principals, special Ed. Directors, and board members who no longer allow kids to be suspended or disciplined. Or block kids from going to special Ed placements. Teachers send kids to the office and they are sent right back to our class often with a treat. We are told to “build a relationship” with the kid who is threatening to kill us or cussing us out or attacking us.

My bad.

I’m just over here dealing with a kid who is bawling because she thought when she went back to school in January she’d be in a new class and not around this child.

You’re a pathetic monster

I'm the parent of a SN child and don't understand this comment at all. No one wins when children have inappropriate placements and inadequate services. How heartbreaking that a child is failed so horrendously that other students are afraid of them. And how terrible for the other students who have this fear. This isn't helping anyone. Why is this parent wrong for their feelings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the F are you blaming teachers!!!! Do you think we want a kid in our class to threaten to kill us? Or a kid who hits, bites, or spits on us? Do you think we want a kid who is destroying the classroom we use our own money to decorate. Do you really believe we want a kid who is making all the other kids in the class suffer? There is NOTHING we can do.

Blame administrators- principals, special Ed. Directors, and board members who no longer allow kids to be suspended or disciplined. Or block kids from going to special Ed placements. Teachers send kids to the office and they are sent right back to our class often with a treat. We are told to “build a relationship” with the kid who is threatening to kill us or cussing us out or attacking us.

My bad.

I’m just over here dealing with a kid who is bawling because she thought when she went back to school in January she’d be in a new class and not around this child.

You’re a pathetic monster

This right here is why this system is perpetuated. A parent is upset because their child is developing symptoms of ptsd having to spend 6 hours a day worried about their own safety, the safety of her classmates and teacher. Their child doesn’t want to worry about having to evacuate a classroom, see their classroom destroyed, her angry and aggressive cussing and shouting.

And this poster calls the parent “a pathetic monster”?

It’s all about the rights of the one kid destroying the education of 20 other students and having the teacher think about quiting every single day. I don’t understand how the pendulum has swung so far to one side.

Money. As long as people point fingers at the "problem students" rather than the system that is inadequately funded, politicians can get away with using the money for other things and have it ultimately end up in their pockets. It's the class war, just a different environment.

[Anonymous]

After working in the front office of a public school for 4 years, I realized that we are looking at elected official qualifications all wrong in this country. Forget military service, we need more people who have served in public schools. That is where the real public policy rubber meets the road. Most elected officials are completely CLUELESS - at all levels.

[Anonymous]

Because admin gets pissy with us if we annoy them by sending kids to them. Admin wants us to handle it ourselves, plus they judge you for failing to have “built a relationship” with the kid which they presume would have warded off the bad behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't blame the teachers, blame the politicians. They're the ones who don't pass the budget that allows for proper SPECIAL EDUCATION.

I would include the academics who set the tone for what’s considered “best practices” in education. The “correct” belief is to be in favor of least restrictive environment, no exclusionary discipline(out of school or in school suspension) and restorative justice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the F are you blaming teachers!!!! Do you think we want a kid in our class to threaten to kill us? Or a kid who hits, bites, or spits on us? Do you think we want a kid who is destroying the classroom we use our own money to decorate. Do you really believe we want a kid who is making all the other kids in the class suffer? There is NOTHING we can do.

Blame administrators- principals, special Ed. Directors, and board members who no longer allow kids to be suspended or disciplined. Or block kids from going to special Ed placements. Teachers send kids to the office and they are sent right back to our class often with a treat. We are told to “build a relationship” with the kid who is threatening to kill us or cussing us out or attacking us.

My bad.

I’m just over here dealing with a kid who is bawling because she thought when she went back to school in January she’d be in a new class and not around this child.

You’re a pathetic monster

No, the obnoxious brat is.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher.

Our administrative team is vast and bloated, full of self-important people who have not taught in a classroom for years, and even if they have, only taught for a few years. They spend their days inventing stupid initiatives and meetings to waste teachers' time doing things such as: asking a partner questions about their personal interests, leading us in meditation exercises, and more. I wish I were joking.

The admin don't want to actually deal with problem kids. They blather on about "relationship building", and if a teacher reports a student of concern or a student who misbehaves, admin feels this means the teacher is not good at "relationship building"; the teacher is struggling because the teacher has not successfully "built a relationship with the student."

I learned this years ago. Now I just deal with whatever situation arises in my classroom myself. And every year, I watch new teachers' shock and distress as they realize that their reporting and seeking help for dealing with misbehaving students is endangering that teacher's standing and status with admin/in his/her career.

I have worked in public schools and private schools. The situation is present in private schools as well, to a greater extent if the student's parents are "important", or full-pay, or if there are enrolment issues.

Oh, and in addition to "building relationships" with troubled students, a good teacher admin will like/retain also neecs to avoid "upsetting parents." Have you ever heard the term "compliment sandwich"? Admin insist this is the only way to hint to a parent that there may be a problem, and the result is that most parents of misbehaving or troubled kids have no real idea of the true extent of the situation.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Also a teacher. I agree with everything the previous teacher posters have said. No one wants that kid gone more than the teacher.

I’m in this position now. It’s been clear since the first week of school that one of my students needs a more restrictive environment. It takes twice as long to get through material as it should because I spend so much time dealing with this kid’s misbehavior, and the whole class is suffering. However, it’s only now, after over 4 months of documentation, interventions, team meetings, buddy rooms, and multiple suspensions that they are beginning the formal process for moving this child out. This will involve more interventions, documentation, and meetings. If things go smoothly, maybe the kid will move by March, but more likely the transition won’t happen until next year.

I try to handle everything on my own when I can, because as others have pointed out, getting admin involved just has negative repercussions for me. I learned this the hard way early in my career when admin decided there was an acceptable number of referrals a teacher could write. Those of us who exceeded that number were publicly berated at a staff meeting, then forced to give up our planning periods twice a month for a year to attend a classroom management course run by admin, where we were told to build relationships. It was not helpful. And is it surprising that most of the teachers in the course were those teaching inclusion classes?

Not sure there is much you can do as a parent other than try to get your kid switched to another class. Good luck.