How do I stop being a repeater? I repeat things during the conversation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend does something this and she’s not anxious but she does smoke a lot of weed. She talks like she’s in a soap opera, where the characters’ lines are written for the benefit of viewers who don’t watch every day, (ie “Nikki, I am very worried about our daughter Victoria. She hasn’t been herself since she married Brad for the third time, after he recovered from being shot by Jack.”)

We’ve been friends for a decade but she talks to me like we just met, or like she thinks I have amnesia. We communicate daily, mostly by text, and a typical message will be something like: I had a meeting with a really difficult client today. I’m her lawyer. (I know she’s a lawyer. We met at work. Where we both worked as lawyers). Tonight I’m meting my girlfriend, Mary (she’s been dating Mary for years) for dinner. Mary is driving in from Philly (Mary has lived in Philadelphia the entire time they’ve dated) and she needs to talk to me about a problem she’s having with her boss. She’s hoping I can help because I’m a lawyer. She’s spending the night but has to head back to Philly in the morning, because she lives there.

I love her to death, but oh my Gooood.

She’ll also point out very obvious things, like when I said that my husband got me a ring but it was a bit tight, she said “you could try it on another finger. There are four on each hand”. I called her out on that one because it was just ridiculous and she couldn’t explain it. “I know you know what a hand looks like. Sorry, I’m daft”. Fascinating, but very annoying.

But… there are five on each hand. Five fingers.

[Anonymous]

I do this, too. I chalk it up to having never felt heard when I was growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend does something this and she’s not anxious but she does smoke a lot of weed. She talks like she’s in a soap opera, where the characters’ lines are written for the benefit of viewers who don’t watch every day, (ie “Nikki, I am very worried about our daughter Victoria. She hasn’t been herself since she married Brad for the third time, after he recovered from being shot by Jack.”)

We’ve been friends for a decade but she talks to me like we just met, or like she thinks I have amnesia. We communicate daily, mostly by text, and a typical message will be something like: I had a meeting with a really difficult client today. I’m her lawyer. (I know she’s a lawyer. We met at work. Where we both worked as lawyers). Tonight I’m meting my girlfriend, Mary (she’s been dating Mary for years) for dinner. Mary is driving in from Philly (Mary has lived in Philadelphia the entire time they’ve dated) and she needs to talk to me about a problem she’s having with her boss. She’s hoping I can help because I’m a lawyer. She’s spending the night but has to head back to Philly in the morning, because she lives there.

I love her to death, but oh my Gooood.

She’ll also point out very obvious things, like when I said that my husband got me a ring but it was a bit tight, she said “you could try it on another finger. There are four on each hand”. I called her out on that one because it was just ridiculous and she couldn’t explain it. “I know you know what a hand looks like. Sorry, I’m daft”. Fascinating, but very annoying.

But… there are five on each hand. Five fingers.

Four fingers, one thumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend does something this and she’s not anxious but she does smoke a lot of weed. She talks like she’s in a soap opera, where the characters’ lines are written for the benefit of viewers who don’t watch every day, (ie “Nikki, I am very worried about our daughter Victoria. She hasn’t been herself since she married Brad for the third time, after he recovered from being shot by Jack.”)

We’ve been friends for a decade but she talks to me like we just met, or like she thinks I have amnesia. We communicate daily, mostly by text, and a typical message will be something like: I had a meeting with a really difficult client today. I’m her lawyer. (I know she’s a lawyer. We met at work. Where we both worked as lawyers). Tonight I’m meting my girlfriend, Mary (she’s been dating Mary for years) for dinner. Mary is driving in from Philly (Mary has lived in Philadelphia the entire time they’ve dated) and she needs to talk to me about a problem she’s having with her boss. She’s hoping I can help because I’m a lawyer. She’s spending the night but has to head back to Philly in the morning, because she lives there.

I love her to death, but oh my Gooood.

She’ll also point out very obvious things, like when I said that my husband got me a ring but it was a bit tight, she said “you could try it on another finger. There are four on each hand”. I called her out on that one because it was just ridiculous and she couldn’t explain it. “I know you know what a hand looks like. Sorry, I’m daft”. Fascinating, but very annoying.

She is a lawyer. In general, the group needs help crossing a street.

[Anonymous]

OCD

[Anonymous]

My mom does this in a really bad way. Always has but it’s gotten worse over the years. I sometimes do this too, mostly when I’m not sure the person has heard me because they don’t react. Sometimes i catch myself and I feel so silly. But I grew up in a household where you had to react immediately, verbally, to every inane comment. So there’s that.

[Anonymous]

It's actually a useful technique and a lot of good public speakers do it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have dementia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you have dementia.

Loss of memory has been implied several times but more posters are saying they want to confirm what they are saying is conveyed to the listener and they are unsure if the listener is being attentive. They know well they are repeating the info.

[Anonymous]

I have no choice but to do this with my spouse who has severe ADHD they refuse to treat. And they STILL forget everything even 3 seconds later. I hate living like this and want to know what its like to live normally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you have dementia.

Loss of memory has been implied several times but more posters are saying they want to confirm what they are saying is conveyed to the listener and they are unsure if the listener is being attentive. They know well they are repeating the info.

Op here. I’ll add, in my case it’s not that I forgot that I said it. It’s moreso I say it again to maybe as one put emphasize that point or I can’t tell if it’s just to ensure the other person fully heard and understood the importance of that piece of information or to go back to that part of the conversation. I’m intrigued on this now and will see in the moment if I can really tell why.

I’m trying to catch myself today to give a better example than I did in the original OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you have dementia.

Loss of memory has been implied several times but more posters are saying they want to confirm what they are saying is conveyed to the listener and they are unsure if the listener is being attentive. They know well they are repeating the info.

Op here. I’ll add, in my case it’s not that I forgot that I said it. It’s moreso I say it again to maybe as one put emphasize that point or I can’t tell if it’s just to ensure the other person fully heard and understood the importance of that piece of information or to go back to that part of the conversation. I’m intrigued on this now and will see in the moment if I can really tell why.

I’m trying to catch myself today to give a better example than I did in the original OP.

How do you know they heard it the second time? Better repeat it again.