I should just get these shoes for my kid, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine for parents to say no to their kids when they want impractical shoes. She will not complain to her therapist that her individuality was quashed because she didn’t get the shoes she wanted when she was 8. Those shoes are not a good choice for running around in pe class or recess and light up shoes are not appropriate for school. In 7 years, you will all be on the teen board wondering why your kid is spending $400 at Sephora every weekend.

I disagree on what she may talk to her therapist about. It depends how many times this happens and how it's explained and how anxious and pushy mom is. It's not the shoes but the mom's reasoning behind the shoes and not seeing the child and what people think of the child as separate from herself. OP might not be that mom, but some moms are.

[Anonymous]

OP how hard have you looked for other pairs...there are lots of brightly colored, cool patterns, etc. on the more athletic and better made types of shoes I see most 8 year olds wear. Have you gone to stores other than target? She can also replace the white laces with fun bright laces (tons on amazon) or add little shoe charms.

I'd veto the shoes your DD picked, too...impractical and not age appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and honestly I am still torn.

Just make a decision and move on. Heal yourself in this process. Gut up and parent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have this thought too with my kid who likes random off-trend stuff. For the most part, I let her get what she wants. And then I try to give her IDGAF confidence. It's hard, because I'm a people pleaser....but it's a good exercise for me too. Often what she *likes* about something is that no other kid has it. I'm trying to take a page from her book.

I do point out what kids might say if she asks. For example, she'll sometimes ask what I think of an outfit and I'll say, "well, some people might think X, but the important thing is what you think--if you like it and you feel good, go for it!"

Same here.

My hesitation would mainly be that the shoes I've tried on myself and looked at for my kids at target were really low quality. I had better luck getting sale shoes of bigger brands at Marshalls or DSW and pay a little more for something that would last longer.

[Anonymous]

I have an 8 year old and I'd get him whatever shoes he wants. The shoes will fall apart in 3 months anyhow, so who cares.

And yes, they fall apart if they are Target or Nike or Saucony or Under Armor. It doesn't matter. They all fall apart. It does sort of make sense, my kids generally only wear one pair of shoes. So wearing those all day every day, will wrack up some wear! If we have a pair that lasts 4-6 months I feel great. Otherwise I just buy new ones every 3-4 months.