I should just get these shoes for my kid, right?

[Anonymous]

8 yos are still wearing light up shoes in our school. But in the daytime you really can't see them lighting up

[Anonymous]

I have this thought too with my kid who likes random off-trend stuff. For the most part, I let her get what she wants. And then I try to give her IDGAF confidence. It's hard, because I'm a people pleaser....but it's a good exercise for me too. Often what she *likes* about something is that no other kid has it. I'm trying to take a page from her book.

I do point out what kids might say if she asks. For example, she'll sometimes ask what I think of an outfit and I'll say, "well, some people might think X, but the important thing is what you think--if you like it and you feel good, go for it!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, get them. It’s a small thing that might bring her joy. It’s also quite possible that she won’t be teased. If it becomes an issue, then those can be her after-school shoes, and she can wear something else to school. Keep in mind, though, that you might not be the best judge of what other 8 years olds will think of her choice.

You might be right, but discouraging your daughter’s expression of her individuality based on what you imagine a bunch of 8 year olds might think doesn’t seem like a great precedent to set — unless you know that problematic teasing is likely based on your experiences with this particular group of 8 year olds. If teasing does become a concern, this will be a relatively low stakes opportunity to support your daughter as she develops and practices appropriate and self-affirming responses to any teasing that comes up.

+1 My family has erred on the side of the dumb shoes multiple times with great lessons learned early in life, including:

-Dyed suede is not suitable for rainy days
-Those lights break, and not at the same time for each shoe - "Hey, one headlight is out!"
-No you can't have a second pair if the first one messes up (fashion shoes are usually low quality)

I'm just glad my kids never asked for Heelys. I think those are a safety hazard.

Despite what I said above, me and my boys got tremendous fun out of our fancy shoes until they broke. The pros are real. And we are not shoe people. Our boys usually only had one pair of sneakers at a time. It's like any other trendy fashion thing - it's a small but real indulgence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her they were out of her size and get something more appropriate/durable for school.

Yeah that's lying and in my experience, the brand and look and price of kids' sneakers have not correlated with durability. In fact the light up ones from Target were much better than the light up ones from Stride Rite, not in design but in durability.

I would buy them if they fit.

[Anonymous]

Just order a few sneakers that you approve of in her size and have her pick. You don’t need to negotiate or talk her into it because you’re the one buying them. Light up sneakers are too babyish for an 8 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Buy them. She's 8, not 13. Let her be a kid while she still wants to be one.

[Anonymous]

Light up shoes were in for Preschool

[Anonymous]

I think I know which shoes they are. They look very cheap and uncomfortable not to mention barely any traction. But her a more sensible shoe for running around at recess that will hold up better. These look like junk.

[Anonymous]

These ones, right? https://www.target.com/p/s-sport-by-skechers-toddler-kelsi-sneakers-aqua-blue-gray/-/A-89530808?preselect=89593451#lnk=sametab

My almost 9 year old actually bought almost identical ones from Sketchers in the last year or two from a shopping trip with grandma, and didn't actually wear them once she brought them home and the initial excitement wore off. They are pretty babyish and most girls are outgrowing those styles by third grade. That said, mine wouldn't think twice about another kid wearing them, BUT I know there are other third grade girls that are starting to get a bit judgmental and may have something to say about those shoes. Whether there are similar girls in your DD's class, and whether your DD would care if they were called babyish is a different story.

So even though they were a waste of (my MIL's) money for us, I'd probably still get them for her. It could be a complete non-issue, or she could just wear them outside of school. But better for her to decide she's too old for them than you tell her that.

[Anonymous]

Tell her schools don’t allow them.

[Anonymous]

Are they twinkle toes?
If yes get her a pair for the holidays. Get a more athletic pair now for the day to day PE and park

[Anonymous]

I would get them, my kids have had plenty of Twinkle toes and they barely look like they light up in the daytime. My kid would never wear them now in 5th grade but she still wore them in 3rd.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine to get the shoes. Honestly, in my experience, they won't last very long anyway.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe how many parents on DCUM encourage their kids to conform to the preferences of bullies rather than teach their kids to be independent and strong advocates for their own preferences. Please stop giving mean people power. That’s how we ended up with Trump.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here… please don’t buy them and have your child bring in another distraction that students do not need at school!