3rd Graders Witness S*x in Dunbar Locker Room

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not surprised the boys were changing without a chaperone. I am not surprised that high schoolers were having sex in the locker room. It is unfortunate that the kids had to walk in on it. That’s pretty much the end of it. Kids have been walking in on teens/ adults having sex since the beginning of time.

This. I have the feeling people are exceptionally offended because it was gay sex. They'd let hetero sex pass.

Oh please. GFY. Not even close.

Seriously, I don't know how DC parents are downplaying or minimizing this incident. If that was in MoCo, this thread would have been 50 pages by now and everyone and their mothers would have been blaming MCPS.

Because these people aren’t real. They have to be trolls or people without kids. No one with a child thinks this behavior is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not surprised the boys were changing without a chaperone. I am not surprised that high schoolers were having sex in the locker room. It is unfortunate that the kids had to walk in on it. That’s pretty much the end of it. Kids have been walking in on teens/ adults having sex since the beginning of time.

This. I have the feeling people are exceptionally offended because it was gay sex. They'd let hetero sex pass.

nope

Honest question. If your kid walked in on sex accidentally- you and your DH, an aunt and uncle, an older cousin, etc- would you freak out and make it seem like sex is a terrible dirty thing and never let him see those people or do that activity again (in this case, swimming was canceled for example). Or would you explain what they saw, ask if they had any questions, reiterated that it’s supposed to be private but that walking in by mistake wasn’t their fault and not to feel bad about it, that if anyone ever tries to make them watch that sort of thing on purpose to tell mom and dad, etc?

You cannot truly make this comparison. They didn’t accidentally walk in on 2 consenting adults who were in a private room. They walked in on group sex (4 teens involved) in a school locker room. I’d be upset if my kids’ aunt and uncle plus a couple friends were having sex in a place others including children could walk into. It’s weird. This shouldn’t be treated as normal.

It was either 2 or 4 (depending on the kid you ask) consenting teenagers (maybe adults?) who probably thought they had privacy since it was a locker room. It’s not ideal and it’s not something I’d like my kids to see . But it doesn’t sound like anything newsworthy unless there are details missing. Falls under the “S happens” category like someone else said. Talk to your kids, explain what sex is, don’t act freaked out when your 9 year old doesn’t know what her body parts are like the above poster, and you guys will be ok.

Thanks for weighing in, Karl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I would be upset if my 3rd grader witnessed any kind of sex at a school. Completely inappropriate. People defending it have very warped boundaries. This is a school. Where are the coaches or teachers?

Agreed. I would be raising hell about this.

Obviously the teachers have absolutely no control over the kids there if they already feel comfortable enough to progress to gay orgies in the locker room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not surprised the boys were changing without a chaperone. I am not surprised that high schoolers were having sex in the locker room. It is unfortunate that the kids had to walk in on it. That’s pretty much the end of it. Kids have been walking in on teens/ adults having sex since the beginning of time.

This. I have the feeling people are exceptionally offended because it was gay sex. They'd let hetero sex pass.

Oh please. GFY. Not even close.

Seriously, I don't know how DC parents are downplaying or minimizing this incident. If that was in MoCo, this thread would have been 50 pages by now and everyone and their mothers would have been blaming MCPS.

I’m blaming the person in charge of the kids for not doing a check inside the locker room before sending them in to change. That’s the only person I’m blaming. (I mean I’d also tell the teenagers not to have sex in the locker room do it in a parked car like everyone else does)

This! Under no circumstances should 3rd graders be changing in a locker room with high school kids (and no adult) present. It's a failure of both schools (CHML and Dunbar) that no one thought this through or made sure it couldn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not surprised the boys were changing without a chaperone. I am not surprised that high schoolers were having sex in the locker room. It is unfortunate that the kids had to walk in on it. That’s pretty much the end of it. Kids have been walking in on teens/ adults having sex since the beginning of time.

The kids who witnessed it had some not insignificant issues with anxiety and nightmares after. So, it’s not just “unfortunate,” it’s harmed those children.

My take on it was the kids were feeling very guilty, like the whole thing was their fault, because swimming was canceled when they (correctly) told their parents what they’d seen. And it was made into a big deal (probably correctly, hard to say). Their parents were very upset. These things also contribute to feeling anxious and having bad dreams afterwords. I’m sure you’ll say I’m trying to minimize their trauma. But if it was consensual sex, and the kids saw it by accident, this is something that happens all the time, all over the world, since the beginning of time. Nobody was abused and it shouldn’t be treated as such.

Your “take” is wrong. The interview I watched with this mother said her child was acting withdrawn, anxious, and having nightmares for a week before the story came out. They saw something they didn’t understand, and sex, even if you tell a child what’s involved factually, can look scary the first time you see it. My 7 year old knows the mechanics conceptually, but she’d also be freaked out watching someone having anal or PIV sex, no doubt. The teens should not have been unsupervised enough to have four of them alone in a shower having sex, and the little kids should have had a chaperone. There is NOTHING about what happened that is normal or ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people trying to excuse a 4-way witnessed by small children during the school day.

Literally what is wrong with you?

+1

My kids in APS do swimming field trips to Yorktown and have to change in the locker room. The teachers specifically solicit parents of both genders referencing the need for adults to monitor locker rooms.

I’m a pretty laid back parent about a lot of things (I’ve always been open about talking with my kids about the basics of sex, consent, gay marriage, respecting pronouns, etc. but I hope there is never a day that my response to 9 year olds witnessing other minors have sex in a school locker room is “meh.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not surprised the boys were changing without a chaperone. I am not surprised that high schoolers were having sex in the locker room. It is unfortunate that the kids had to walk in on it. That’s pretty much the end of it. Kids have been walking in on teens/ adults having sex since the beginning of time.

This. I have the feeling people are exceptionally offended because it was gay sex. They'd let hetero sex pass.

nope

Honest question. If your kid walked in on sex accidentally- you and your DH, an aunt and uncle, an older cousin, etc- would you freak out and make it seem like sex is a terrible dirty thing and never let him see those people or do that activity again (in this case, swimming was canceled for example). Or would you explain what they saw, ask if they had any questions, reiterated that it’s supposed to be private but that walking in by mistake wasn’t their fault and not to feel bad about it, that if anyone ever tries to make them watch that sort of thing on purpose to tell mom and dad, etc?

This is a totally different scenario. DCPS let 8-9 year olds go unattended in a locker room that is apparently a cruising zone for HS students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not surprised the boys were changing without a chaperone. I am not surprised that high schoolers were having sex in the locker room. It is unfortunate that the kids had to walk in on it. That’s pretty much the end of it. Kids have been walking in on teens/ adults having sex since the beginning of time.

This. I have the feeling people are exceptionally offended because it was gay sex. They'd let hetero sex pass.

nope

Honest question. If your kid walked in on sex accidentally- you and your DH, an aunt and uncle, an older cousin, etc- would you freak out and make it seem like sex is a terrible dirty thing and never let him see those people or do that activity again (in this case, swimming was canceled for example). Or would you explain what they saw, ask if they had any questions, reiterated that it’s supposed to be private but that walking in by mistake wasn’t their fault and not to feel bad about it, that if anyone ever tries to make them watch that sort of thing on purpose to tell mom and dad, etc?

This is a totally different scenario. DCPS let 8-9 year olds go unattended in a locker room that is apparently a cruising zone for HS students.

This is the piece that concerns me even more than what they saw. Of course I’m sure it was shocking to see but I do think parents can take the opportunity to explain what it was and provide some reassurance that no one was hurting anyone. I strongly feel that adults should confirm that locker rooms are cleared out for use by kids, though. Peers having consensual sex is obviously not ok in public spaces but not keeping kids safe in locker rooms could lead down a much darker path

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I’ll bite. Why were a bunch of 8 year old boys in a high school men’s locker room with high schoolers

We are in APS, but in 3rd grade our kids go to the local high school to do swimming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot get pass the “clapping” comment. That itself is traumatizing once you realize what is actually going on.

It might have been bodies slapping, not actual clapping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not surprised the boys were changing without a chaperone. I am not surprised that high schoolers were having sex in the locker room. It is unfortunate that the kids had to walk in on it. That’s pretty much the end of it. Kids have been walking in on teens/ adults having sex since the beginning of time.

This. I have the feeling people are exceptionally offended because it was gay sex. They'd let hetero sex pass.

nope

Honest question. If your kid walked in on sex accidentally- you and your DH, an aunt and uncle, an older cousin, etc- would you freak out and make it seem like sex is a terrible dirty thing and never let him see those people or do that activity again (in this case, swimming was canceled for example). Or would you explain what they saw, ask if they had any questions, reiterated that it’s supposed to be private but that walking in by mistake wasn’t their fault and not to feel bad about it, that if anyone ever tries to make them watch that sort of thing on purpose to tell mom and dad, etc?

This is a totally different scenario. DCPS let 8-9 year olds go unattended in a locker room that is apparently a cruising zone for HS students.

This is the piece that concerns me even more than what they saw. Of course I’m sure it was shocking to see but I do think parents can take the opportunity to explain what it was and provide some reassurance that no one was hurting anyone. I strongly feel that adults should confirm that locker rooms are cleared out for use by kids, though. Peers having consensual sex is obviously not ok in public spaces but not keeping kids safe in locker rooms could lead down a much darker path

NP but do we know no one was hurting anyone? I don’t ever make that assumption in these scenarios. As a high school teacher I have heard way to many stories where consent was blurry at best and someone was in fact harmed.

[Anonymous]

This is on admin from both schools. Where was the planning to prevent this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot get pass the “clapping” comment. That itself is traumatizing once you realize what is actually going on.

It might have been bodies slapping, not actual clapping.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

[Anonymous]

Did anyone at Dunbar bother to check the cameras to see if any students had even entered the locker room? If so, what students? Were those students questioned? Third graders also have big imaginations.

Has this actually been investigated thoroughly? It seems irresponsible for the news to publish if these questions haven't been resolved yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I would be upset if my 3rd grader witnessed any kind of sex at a school. Completely inappropriate. People defending it have very warped boundaries. This is a school. Where are the coaches or teachers?

Agreed. I would be raising hell about this.

Obviously the teachers have absolutely no control over the kids there if they already feel comfortable enough to progress to gay orgies in the locker room.

And there it is. There is your real problem with it.