50/50 in practice doesn't work for the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. 50/50 is horrible. As a kid who did it, I can tell you, everyone thought we were ok but we hated it. Let the kids stay in one house. The other parent can do dinners, homework, games, be involved but don't make the kids move back and forth. Makes me want to cry thinking about it.

The problem is if you give up custody time you have to pay more child support. The breadwinner parent should be able to dictate terms of when he has the kids. You get child support and alimony, you have to set your schedule according to your ex’s needs.

The other thing is that the parent doesn’t need to be around for the 50-50. The ex’s girlfriend can watch the kids when it’s his time. She’s part of his life after all, and kids need to see there are women who aren’t crazy out there. They also need to see a positive example in front of them when the Mom lets herself go.

Kids bounce back. You treat them like fine china, they’ll be delicate. You toss them into the deep end, they’ll swim.

So, so many kids are better off once the parents divorce. I can’t tell you how many kids tell their Dad how they understand why he cheated and that it’s not really cheating if Mom loses her fastball. Kids understand social market value from the playground and travel teams. They know just like a kid needs to work to keep his spot in Travel, a Mom married to a successful man needs to give him what he wants. And as he’s more established in his career now he’s entitled to much more than when he was 25 and Mom had the power in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. 50/50 is horrible. As a kid who did it, I can tell you, everyone thought we were ok but we hated it. Let the kids stay in one house. The other parent can do dinners, homework, games, be involved but don't make the kids move back and forth. Makes me want to cry thinking about it.

Did you tell your Mom to let your Dad bring his girlfriend over? It’s a joke if you nest but can’t bring her over.,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. 50/50 is horrible. As a kid who did it, I can tell you, everyone thought we were ok but we hated it. Let the kids stay in one house. The other parent can do dinners, homework, games, be involved but don't make the kids move back and forth. Makes me want to cry thinking about it.

I’m so sorry for your experience. How far apart did your parents live? Was the divorce amicable? What did you most dislike about it and would there have been any way to mitigate those things (ie having two of important items, different schedule, parents more willing to drive, etc.).