50/50 in practice doesn't work for the kids
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| We have been divorced for 1 year and my son (14) said he can't do the back and forth anymore. We tried so many schedules last year and our kids spent a lot of time travelling. My ex wife couldn't afford to leave nearby. There are no room rents in our area. There are few apartments to rent and the cost is prohibitive. My ex lives at least 25 minutes away. Her work schedule makes it almost impossible sometimes for her to pick up the kids during the week for drop off/ pick up. This year the kids re going to be with me Monday to Thursday and Friday to Sunday they will be with their mom. But if their mom has plans some weekends they can stay with me this way. |
Anonymous
| What is your question? |
Anonymous
|
Of course in doesn't work in practice for the middle class. The "rich" people on this forum unlike you have the ability to live nearby. Some even brag about living 5 mins apart. Good for them and their kids. The vast majority of divorced people don't have the same luxury so 50/50 on paper great but in practice for the best interest of the children 80/20 or 90/10 will best.
Equal time doesn't meet equal time spent..when kids re spending the majority of their times on their electronic devices or doing school work or hanging out with friends doesn't meet they are spending equal time you. It just means they are spending equal time at your physical space. |
Anonymous
OP. My question is how do people who can't afford to live in the same school district generally managed a 50/50 schedule? |
Anonymous
| I know, OP. But unless the parents have a good working relationship and trust each other, there won’t be any win-win solution. It’s a Pick The Least Worst game, just like when you vote for a politician. |
Anonymous
I don't think you have to live in the same school district to go to the school. When I was a kid I did alternating semesters with each parent, but because my custody was intentionally set up to be 55% with my mom on paper, I went to the school in her town. |
Anonymous
|
It completely sucks. Did the two houses for 2 years.
It is not good for kids. Two kids, two schedules and kids under the age of 13. We are going to be living together again for a year (spring 2025-spring 2026). After that, we are nesting until college. (One house for kids and parents rotate to a smaller nearby residence). (Divorced 4.5 years now) |
Anonymous
Why is her economic position so different from yours following the divorce? Typically, in a divorce, you split assets 50/50, and child support/alimony gets incomes closer to equal. |
Anonymous
| This is kind of my situation too. My Exhusband makes more than me. After our divorce he stayed in Arlington but I couldn't afford it and had to move out farther to be able to get a place. The driving back-and-forth is a pain. My kids are younger than yours so maybe that is why it works now but it's not ideal for any of us. We haven't been able to figure out a better solution so for now, it is what it is. I feel your pain, OP. |
Anonymous
Not the OP but this often doesn't work out that way ... especially in HCOL area. Most people I know who are divorced, one or the other struggles financially after. Besides going from two incomes down to one sometimes one is having to pay child support and often one or both are also in debt from legal fees. |
Anonymous
OP here. Our economic situation is not that much different. We did split everything 50/50. Neither of us requires alimony or child support. Our salary are not that far off. We sold the house and split the proceeds. We are both renting, but as I said earlier it's prohibitive to rent here and the supply is very limited. In fact I am spending far more of my income towards rent than her, but at least our kids remain in the same school district. Our divorce agreement does not have any clause (nor did we want it) that says we must live close to one another say within 10 mins or so. |
Anonymous
| It works for our kids. Three teenagers. We switch every two weeks. We live 2 miles apart. |
Anonymous
My ex just stopped by our house during the week to have dinner or was at every game or came over after work to do homework. He did 90% of his afternoons with the kids at practice/games/dinner/our house for HW. |
Anonymous
| So the adults move back in together, suck it up, and make life easier for the kid. Why is the kid supposed to be the one to suffer? He didn’t ask for any of this. |
Anonymous
| 50 50 does not work. It is terrible for kids. Mature people should not force this on kids and one or the other shut suck it up and take less time, but the other should have an open door. Yes this sucks but you chose to divorce |